I have not yet seen a post of people sharing what they think are the funniest jokes ever. Here are some of mine.

A man walks into a bar. All the employess are tall, light skinned, blonde hair, blue eyed men. The man orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves because the place freaked him out a bit. He walks out of the door and walks into the owner of the bar, a man with a small black mustache and wearing a uniform. He bar guests curiously asks the owner, "Excuse me, but this place is very strange. All your employees are all, light skinned, blonde hair, blue eyed men. You have a mustache and a very strong resemblence to Hitler. Is this all coincidence?". To this the owner answers, "No, it is not coincidence. I am hitler. I have come back from the dead. I will do what I once did before. I will kill 6 million Jews and one clown!!!"
The man looks at him with terror, "But why the clown???? What did he do???"
Hitler replies:"See? Nobody cares about the Jews!"

Question: There are three little boys that are attending 8th grade: one is white, one chinese, and one is black. Which one has the biggest dick?

Answer: The black boy because he's 18.

Ok... I don't mean to be racist or anything. I just really think it's funny. A black guy told me the second joke.

Q. what do you call a dog with no tounge?

A. smelly balls.

Q. what do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?

A. sparky.


and yes i they suck.

How many blacks does it take to tile a roof?

About 20 if you lay them out evenly.

OR my favorite:

"Hey, did you hear that my grandfather died in the Auschwitz concentration camp?"

"Oh, that's too bad."

"Yeah, he fell out of his guard tower during a revolt."

a guy walked into a bar.
ouch.

whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
the mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.


-not my best attempt at humor, but i cant remember good jokes.

what do you call a girl with one eye and one leg?////////eyeleen

what do you call a cow with 2 legs

leen beef

what do you call a cow with no legs

ground beef

SenorJesucristo

Black jokes are funny, even though I'm not racist.

Here's a few:

What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg? Stop laughing and re-load.

What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks leading up to it.

What is the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go out at night without robin.

What is long and hard on a nigger? First Grade.

How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? Ever try taking a rib from a nigger?

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a nigger? A dumb gorilla.

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a nigger? Nothing, monkeys are too smart to fuck niggers.

Sorry if I have offended you black people out there. Yeah whatever.

Three men are interviewing for a position with the CIA, and the interviewer asks that they each bring their wife to the interview.

When they arrive, the wives are escorted into three separate private offices.

To test the applicants loyalty, the interviewer hands a gun to the first applicant, and instructs him to shoot his wife, whereupon the first applicant refuses, and withdraws his application.

The interviewer then hands the gun to the second applicant, and instructs him to shoot his wife. Applicant number two hesitates, says, "But I love my wife", and then also withdraws.

The interviewer then hands the gun to the third applicant, and instructs him to shoot his wife. The third applicant marches into the office where his wife is seated, and then the sound of a shot being fired is heard. Then more shots, until the clip is emptied. The interviewer then checks a box on a form, and nods his approval.

Then, a loud crashing sound is heard and the interviewer, alarmed, runs into the office to see what happened. He finds the third applicant standing over the bloodied body of his wife, who says, "That gun you gave me was loaded with blanks. I had to beat her to death with a chair."

Guy 1:I hear that if you play an AOL CD backwards you will hear all sorts of satanic messages.
Guy 2:Yea, and if you play the CD forwards it installs AOL.
-----------------
Hahaha
What do you call someone who pays double for internet?
An AOL user
hahahahaha

Okay then, so the nigger jokes were'nt racist then hey.?? Well seeing how im not a racist here's a few Abo joke's...
And for those who dont know what an Abo is ,they are black Australian's...

What do you call an Abo with a job...a liar.
What do you call an Abo with a car ..a thief.
What do you call an Abo with a gun..Sir.
How much will an Abo sell you his sister for..A flagon of wine.

Yeah there's more and better, but like I said im not a racist..

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?

.

.

.

Cut the rope .

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tr1bal:
what do you call a girl with one eye and one leg?////////eyeleen

---

What do you call a Japanese girl with one leg?
Irene.

Speaking of Abo jokes...

What's three things you can't give an Abo?
A black eye, a fat lip and a job.

What do you can 10000 Abos rolling down a hill?
Abolanche
What do you call an Abo rolling up a hill?
Black magic.

What do you call an Abo going down a waterslide?
Sewerage

Why are Abo wedding cakes made of shit?
To keep the flies off the bride.

There's an Abo and a Lebo in a car, who's driving?
The cops.

I could recite Abo jokes all day, but for the sake of impartiality I'll end with an Asian joke.

How do you blindfold an Asian?
Fishing wire.

lol. I love abo jokes. (I probably shouldn't, tho!)
Truck driver doing the long haul from Melbourne to Perth. Sees three Abos ahead on the road. Thinks "Bewdy", puts his foot flat down on the accelerator, speeds down the road, hits them all.
One Abo gets knocked into a nearby paddock; one gets smashed through the truck's windscreen; the other lands 100 yards down the road, gets up and runs away.
Just then a cop car pulls up. "Oh, no!!" thinks the truckie. Cop asks truckie what happened, truckie thinks he'd better "come clean", so tells him the truth.
"No worries" says the cop, "we'll charge the first Abo with trespass, the second with break and enter, and the third with leaving the scene of an accident".

Three men - an Australian, a Jew, and an Abo - are crossing the road, when a bus runs them all over, killing them instantly. They appear before Saint Peter, who prepares to let them into Heaven.
The three plead and beg to be allowed to go back, as they're only young and haven't led full lives. Eventually, Saint Peter relents and lets them go back to earth - on the one condition that they each pay him $500.
The Aussie pays his $500 straight away, and BANG!!, he's back in the same street he had just left. Immediately, he goes into the nearest pub, and tells all of his mates his amazing story.
Of course, they don't believe him. "So," asks one mate, "if all this is true, then where's the Jew and the Abo?".
"Well," says the Aussie, "when I left them, the Jew had him down to $100, and the Abo was arguing that the government should pay for it".

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got a vasectomy through the Sears catalog?

A: Yeah, now everytime he gets excited the garage door opens.

-------
Q: What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing, she's already been told twice.

-------

Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Jewish American Princess?

A: A computer that never goes down on you.

--------

Q: What's the difference between a battery and a woman?

A: A battery has a positive side.

--------

Q: What do women have in common with condoms?

A: They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

-------

One guy, seeing a woman at his house, asked 'Is that your wife?'

The other guy replied "God, you think I'd have a maid that ugly?


*Runs and duck shot taken by nazi fems*

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dark_Magneto:
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?

.

.

.

Cut the rope .

---

Yes, I've noticed that there certainly are some strange loking fruit trees in your area...

What has 3 legs and lives on a farm?


the McCartneys.

--------------------------------

What have Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Baghdad got in common?


Nothing. Yet.

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The
wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said,"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman
wanting to know if the coast is clear."

-----------------------------------------

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror

and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here,
let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one
looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

-------------------------------------

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really

angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she
is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut
up,
you're next!"

--------------------------------------------

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly

says, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy:
W."

----------------------------------------

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is
it mine?"

------------------------------------------

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade
was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

-------------------------------------------

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked
and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
unit,patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash,the blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,then sat down on
the
steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,"I come home to find
all
my possessions stolen. I call the police for help,and what do they do?
They
send me a BLIND policeman! ."

--------------------------------

3 blonde are traped on an island. while walking along the beach trying to find a way off the find a lamp.
they rub the lamp and out comes a genie and he tells them u each may have one wish

so the first blonde says i wish i were 100 times smarter... so the genie turns her into a redhead and she swims to the mainland

the second say i wish i were 1000 times smarter... so he turns her into a brunette and she makes a raft and floats to the mainland

the third say i wish i were 1 million times smarter... so he turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge

[This message has been edited by Cheez (edited 11-27-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Cheez (edited 11-27-2002).]

What do you call the black Flintstones?

The Niggers.

What do you call the black Simpsons?

The Niggers.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kiafi:
What do you call the black Flintstones?

The Niggers.

What do you call the black Simpsons?

The Niggers.

---

naaa, that shit aint funny

a man and his wife are driving through the forest when they see a skunk that had been knocked down lying in tnhe road.
they stop and the man says "we'll take it to a vet in the next town"
the wife picks up the injured creature and they get back into the car and start driving.
after a few minutes the wife says "i think it's cold i can feel it shivering".
the man says put it between your legs to keep it warm".
"But what about the smell?" says the wife.
"Just pinch it's nose" he replies

quote:

---

Originally posted by ebeneezer goode:
a man and his wife are driving through the forest when they see a skunk that had been knocked down lying in tnhe road.
they stop and the man says "we'll take it to a vet in the next town"
the wife picks up the injured creature and they get back into the car and start driving.
after a few minutes the wife says "i think it's cold i can feel it shivering".
the man says put it between your legs to keep it warm".
"But what about the smell?" says the wife.
"Just pinch it's nose" he replies

---

now thats funny

A brunette walks into a doctor's office and starts to explain her problem:
Brunette: "Doctor, everything on my body hurts. I can't take the pain anymore. I think I am dying!"

Doctor: "Well, let's just run a few tests first. Why don't you touch your elbow for me?"
So the brunette sticks out her finger and pokes at her elbow.

Brunette: "Oh my god the pain! Unbearable!"

Doctor: "Ok ok. Why don't you touch your knee for me?"
The brunette bends over and pokes her knee.

Brunette: "This pain! It's horrible!!"

Doctor: Alright alright calm down. One last test. Please touch your big toe."
The brunette sticks out her finger again and pokes her toe.

Brunette: "Ouch! Goodness! It's so terrible!!!"

Doctor: "Ok. I think I know what the problem is. But first of all, you're really a blonde, aren't you?"

Brunette: "Why yes. But what does that have to do with my illness?!?"

Doctor: "Well, you have a broken index finger."

There's a little kid, about 7, walking down the street. And he's pulling a string. At the end of the string is a dead frog. He keeps walking and eventually comes to a whorehouse. He goes in, and walks straight up to the madame and says, "I want to get laid." The madame looks him straight in the face and says,"What! What are you talking about. Get the hell out of here." The kid reaches into his pocket pulls out a wad of cash and throws it on the floor. The madame picks it up and counts it, "Okay," she says, "Maybe we can work something out." The kid then says,"I want to get laid by a girl with Syphilus." With this madame burts out again, "What! You are out of your mind. No way!" The kids reaches back into his pocket and pulls out another wad of cash and throws it on the floor. The madame picks it up, counts it, looks at the kid and says, "Okay. Okay. Maybe we can work something out." She pauses, the looks at the kid and says, "You know kid your young you got your whole life. Why do you want to get laid by a girl with Syphilus?" The kid looks up at her and says, "Well you see it is like this, "Tonight my parents are going to go out and I am going to have a babysitter. I'm gonna fuck her. Then when my Dad comes home he's gonna take the baby sitter home, and on the way he is going to fuck her. Then he'll come home and fuck my mom. Then in the morning after my dad leaves, the mail man is going to come by, and mom is going to fuck him..."

"And that's the motherfucker who killed, my, frog!"

A scientist has three jars each filled with a brain. One is a white man's brain. One is a chinese man's brain. And the third is a black man's brain. Which one is worth the most money?

The black guy's because it has never been used before.

Did you hear about the nigger who had a heart attack on Halloween?
Someone came to his door dressed as a job

How do you make a Puerto Rican?
Sandblast a nigger

The Italians were the first to invent the toilet seat but it was the Jews who first put a hole in it.

My Favorite: Did you hear the state slogan of Arkansas? "5 million people, 15 last names."

When the space shuttle Challenger blew up what were the last words spoken?
What does this button do?

What flies of a cliff, is yellow on the outside and black on the inside and is the greatest thing in the world?
A busload of niggers going off the cliff.

What is transparent and lies in a gutter?
An arab with the shit kicked out of him

Why do blondes prefer sunroofs on their cars?
More leg room

okokok now to chang it to indians.

how do you starve a indian family? put the welfare check underneath the soap.

what do you call to indians int he back of a police car? organized crime

Here's one I just thought of.

Doughnuts have to be a Jewish invention. They make the donut, cheat you out of the hole, and sell them again.

What do you get if you cross yourself with a 7yr old girl?

D�j� vu

How do you kill a mexican?
Throw a nickel down a cliff

How do you kill another mexican?
Tell them its still down there

A man went into a bar and ordered several shots of vodka. By the time the bar was closing,he was wasted. He got up to leave and fell flat on his face. "Well, I don't want the bartender to think I'm drunk, so I'll pretend I tripped and I'll try it again." So he gets up and falls on his face. "Well, the door's not too far away; I'll just crawl." When he gets outside he thinks, "Well,I only live 4 blocks away; I can make it that far." So he stands up and falls on his face. He decides
he'll try it 1 block at a time, and at every block he falls flat on his face. Finally he makes it home, stands up and falls on the bed. In the morning his wife wakes him up. "You were drunk again last night, weren't you?" "How did you know?" "The bartender called. He said you left your wheelchair
at the bar."

that was the funniest joke I have heard in a long time...I actually laughed out loud.

Three men die in a horrific accident, one a musician, one a smoker, and one a fag. Saint Peter decides to give them another chance at life only if the first man quits playing the guitar, the second man quits smoking, and the third man turns straight. So the three are walking down a road when the first man spots a guitar, picks it up, and starts playing. Poof he is gone. The second man sees a cigarette still lit lying on the road and bends over to pick it up. Poof the third guy is gone.

Did you hear about the busload of spastics that crashed on the highway?

Police are still trying to free the bus from the wreckage!


Why shouldnt you put your hand in to a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones will steal your watch!


Why dont niggers have sex with mexicans?

They are scared their kids will be to lazy to steal!

Whats the difference between a condom and a coffin?

You cum in one and go in the other!


What do a camera and a condom have in common?

They both capture a magic moment.


Why was the nigger under his car?

He was trying to get the wine out of his diff!


Whats the difference between a vagina and a magician?

One is a cunning stunt the other is a stunning cunt!

Q:Why don't black guys like blowjobs?
A:Black guys don't like any jobs

Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.

Q:Have you ever heard of Ku Klux Kanieval?
A:He tried to jump 50 blacks with a steam roller.

Q:Whats four miles long, black and smells like shit?
A:The line at the unemployment office

Q:Whats the difference between a tennis ball and a black guy?
A:A tennis ball bounces when you throw it off a building

Q:What do you say if you see your TV floating in the air at night?
A:"Drop it, nigger!"

Q:What's positive about Africans?
A:HIV

Q:Why do black people have garage sales?
A:So white people can get their stuff back

Q:What is the most confusing holiday in the Black neighborhood?
A:Father's Day

Q:Why is there cotton on the top of Tylenol?
A:To remind blacks that they picked cotton before they sold drugs.

Q:What did God say when another black baby was born?
A:"Ah, shit, I burnt another one."

Q:How do you count the population of Mexico?
A:Roll a quarter down the street and count who comes out after it.

Q:Who's the richest person in Mexico?
A:Whoever gets the quarter.

Q:How do you save a Mexican from drowning?
A:Take your foot off his head.

Q:What do you throw a drowning Mexican?
A:His wife and kids.

Q:How is a shopping bag and michael jackson alike?
A:Both made of plastic and are dangerous to little children.

Q:What is the best way to circumcise a white guy?
A:Kick his sister in the jaw.

Thats about all I can think of at the moment.

Oh yeah, for the record I'm not racist, I had a black friend once, but then I sold him.

Why did the plane crash?

The pilot was made out of bread!

Subject: A Serious Warning!


This is a true story: the warning is serious and reliable. Yesterday,
a
friend was traveling on a London to Toronto flight. A man of Arabic
appearance got off the plane and my friend noticed that he had left
his
bag behind. She grabbed the heavy bag and ran after him, caught up
with
him in the terminal and handed him back his bag. He was extremely
grateful and reached into his bag, which appeared to contain large
bundles of money. He looked around to make sure nobody was looking
and
whispered "I can never repay your kindness, but I will try to... with
a
word of advice for you:
"Stay away from Regina. You got it? Stay away from Regina, no matter
what."
My friend was genuinely terrified. "Is there going to be a terrorist
attack?" she asked him.
"No," he whispered back. "It's a shithole."

HEY i live in regina! and yea it is a shithole! hahaha. anyway im not racist i love black people... i think everyone should own one. that is the lowest joke i know,

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

A: She was a woman.

So, did you hear about the new Jewish sports car? Yeah, not only does it stop on a dime, but it picks it up, too!

Why do Jews have such big noses?
Because air is free

Definition of the ultimate Jewish dilemma:
Free ham.

a guy is on a plane flying across the world. he goes up to the pilot and he says if i stick my hand out the window and can tell you where we are you put me from coach to frst class. the pilot says ok. so he sticks his hand out o the window and says "hmm the air feels thick like oil. we must be over iran. so into first class he goes. not content with that seat he goes into the cokcpit with the same question so out it goes, "the air feels salty" were over the black sea" so into club class he goes. near to the end of the flight he fancies some business class champagne. he sticks his hand out the window, "were over arkansas" how the fuc d'ya get that aone asys the pilot. "some nigger just stole my watch"

Q:Why did the blonde jump off the building?
A:Because she was wearing Always Ultra with Wings!

Q:Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A:To see what's on the other side.

Q:How many blondes does it take to bake a chocolate cake?
A:Eleven. One for the dough and ten to peel the M&M's

Q:A brunette, a smart blonde, and Santa Clause jump off a building. Who will hit the ground first?
A:The brunette because the other two don't exist.

Can you get any more corny?

There was once this kid, and he was OBCESSED with tractors, he loved everything about em, their big wheels, their loud engines, the fact they were green... I dunno, he just loved em ok. I mean he had tractor posters, tractor video games, recordings of tractor engines. You get the point. Well anyways, for his 16th birthday, his parents decided to take him to drive a real tractor. And the kid was over the moon, this was like his lifes dream. So he gets told how to drive it, an given the keys an what have you, an he heads out into the field. Well he driving around, loving every second of it, and he's enjoying it so much, he loses all track of time. And the owner of the tractor place shouts out to him that his time is up. So the kid makes a sharp turn at the end of the field, and is gonna head back to park it. But he turns too sharply, and the tractor rolls! And this kid is pinned underneath it. Well all these people come running over, and they manage to move the tractor off of him. Well its a grusome sight, his legs have been completly crushed, everyone there thought he was gonna lose them. So he gets rushed off to hospital, and they x-ray him. It comes back that although his legs are shattered in many places, he WILL be able to keep them. So months and months later, after constant pain of casts, and pins, and steel rods, he finally begins to learn to walk again. And naturally, the kids kinda bitter. When he gets home, he go's up to his room, tears down all his tractor posters, snaps all of the cd's and video games, burns all the magazines, smashes all the models, rips down the tractor wallpaper, basically gets rid of anything tractor related. And he and his family start the long process of trying to sue the tractor company. Now this is a pretty big company, and a fairly poor family, so naturally, after years of trying to get compensation, the family are out of money to pay their lawyers, and the tractor company get off scot free.
Well the years pass, and one day, the kid who is now in his mid twenties, walks into his favourite bar. He walks up to the bar an orders a drink. An as he's standing there, he spots a fine looking girl sitting alone in a booth. Well, he's feelin pretty lucks, and go's over to talk to her. And they're getting along just grand. But the girl keeps coughing and asks to move on to a different bar, this one was too smokey. Well this is the guys favourite hangout, an he really dosent want to leave. Suddenly, he has an idea..
'Wait here a minute'he says, and walks over to the door of the pub. He breathes out, an then sucks all the smoke in! Opens the door, blows it outside, and comes back in. And thats it, one smoke free bar. And he heads back to the table.
'wow!' says the girl 'That was amazing, how did you do it though?'
The guy looks at her and says 'Easy, Im an ex-tractor fan'

Now if that dosent make you groan, I dont know what will. Sorry bout the spelling mistakes if there are any, I missin Southpark...

That was horrible.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A 20 foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.

dry joke of the day

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell, cos she's got a grenade in her mouth!!!!;-)

little johnny is sitting in his grade 1 class one day when the teacher says "now we will learn our alphabet.does anyone know a word that starts with a?"
johnies hand goes up like a rocket. the tacher asks for his word and he blurts out "asshole"
the teacher pulls him aside and scolds him for using a bad word in class and that he should never do it again.
the teacher tells him to take his seat and then asks"does anyone know a word that begins with b?"
johnny's hand is up in a flash again. the teacher says to herself that johny deservesa second chance so she chooses him.
"bitch"
she immediately pulls out the strap and gives johnny a good lickin.
then she asks "does anyone know a word that starts with c?"
guess whos hand is the first one in the air?
the teacher thinks no way am i askin him again cuz i doubt he'll ever learn someone else says cat
so its almost the end of the class and the kids had some troubles with q but finally made it to r. johny's hand hasnt gone down since c. the teracher says "who knows a word that begins with r?" well johny is jumping up and down now hes almost in tears and the teacher thinks "hmm i have been kind ofmean to him and plus i dont know any swears that begin with r" so she asks him to say his r word

"RATS, BIG FUCKIN RATS, WITH LONG FUCKIN TAILS"
thats a personal favorite of mine.
--------------------------------------------
so jim and bob go hunting one day near calgary. theyre goose hunting.a flock flies over and they both start shooting. suddenly jim notices bob laying on the ground beside him in the blind.jim grabs his cellphone and dials 911. the operator answers and asks whats wrong. jim tells her hurriedly and says he thinks bobs dead. the operator calms him and says ok now make sure hes dead.suddenly she hears a gunshot and then jims voice says ok now what?
--------------------------------------------

A little more on Little Johnny:

Little Johnny's father sat down next to him on the couch one day and said, "Okay, Johnny, once there was this big, black rooster, and it was sitting on a fence post. How many wings does the rooster have?"
Johnny replied, "It has two."
Little Johnny's father then asked, "How many eyes does the rooster have?"
Johnny replied, "It has two."
Little Johnny's father then asked, "Well then, how many legs do you think the rooster had?"
Johnny replied, "It has two, daddy."
So then, Little Johnny's daddy said, "Well then, a white cat walks up to where the big black rooster is standing on the fence post and opens its mouth to hiss at the rooster. How many teeth does the cat have?"
Little Johnny scratched his head and replied, "I don't know daddy, how many teeth does the cat have?"
Little Johnny's daddy grabbed him by the arm and exclaimed, "Alright boy, how come you know so much about big black cock and so little about white pussy?"

Q. Who was the best Jewish cook.
A. Hitler

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a Volvo
A. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 1 in the ashtray.

Q. Whats the differance between a dead nigger and a dead squirrle in the middle of the road.
A. The squirrle has brake marks in front of it.

CTR

hehe, more jew jokes.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?

the pizza doesnt scream when you put it into the oven.
---------------------------------------------

Whats black and blue and hates sex?

The ten year old locked in my trunk.
---------------------------------------------
have you ever watched startrek and wondered why you never see puerto ricans or mexicans?

well they wouldnt work in the future either.
---------------------------------------------
Why dont women wear watches?

Theres a clock on the stove.
---------------------------------------------
why do women have such small feet?

to stand closer to the sink.
---------------------------------------------
you know, i dont appreciate all these black jokes, i have black in my family tree. in fact its still hanging there.
---------------------------------------------
what do you call a bunch of white people runnin down a hill?
Avalanche.

what do you call a bunch of black people runnin down a hill?
Mudslide.

What do you call a bunch of mexicans runnin down a hill?
Jailbreak.
---------------------------------------------
what do you call 5 white guys pushing a car up a hill?
white power.

what do you call 5 black guys pushing a car up a hill?
black power.

what do you call 5 mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
grand theft auto.
---------------------------------------------
how do you get a mexican in the shower?
throw in a paycheck.

How do you get him out?
throw in a bar of soap.
---------------------------------------------
whats the difference between a preist and acne?

the acne waits till your 16 to come all over your face.
---------------------------------------------
theres a janitor at a local church, and the preist walks up to him while he is cleaning. the preist asks the janitor " could you do me a favor? well its confession time and there is one lady who always comes in and confesses all the time, and i really have to use the restroom so could you cover for me?" the janitor replies, " sure no problem." so the janitor gets into the confession box, and sure enough, here comes the lady. she enters confession and says " forgive me father for i have sinned. i have fantasized about giving 8 blowjobs to men" the janitor, who has no idea what to say, thinks to himself " hmmm... i dont know how to handle this one, and a hail mary wouldnt suffice." so he tells the lady he will be right back, and he leaves the box. he sees an altar boy nearby and calls him over. the janitor asks, " say, what does the preist give for a blowjob around here?" the altar boy replies, " oh a vanilla ice cream and a package of poke`mon cards."
---------------------------------------------


yeah, those are my best ones, i have more, but i dont remember them all.

Dm

[This message has been edited by dirtymexican (edited 12-14-2002).]

HERES A JOKE I MADE UP---
a lady walks into a restaurant that sells breakfast and dinner...she orders a burger, eats it and loves the wonderful taste, she asks the chef "hey how do you make the burgers?", the chef gets a piece of meat and puts it under his armpitt and pushes his arm down to flatten it, the lady says "My god that is fuckin nasty". the chef says "you think thats nasty, you should see how i make the donuts"

Im not racist i have a colored tv.
Im not sexist, bitches hate that shit
Im not racist i equally discriminate against everyone

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2 one to screw in the lightbulb and one to suck my fucking dick.

3 beers is like a vibrater without batteries. sure it fills you up but wheres the buzz??

why dont you throw rocks at an indian on a bike? might be your bike
what did the indian give you for christmas? my bike
what do u call to indians on a bike? organised crime.

a guy goes into a bar and sees a jar of money. he asks the bartender what the jar is for. the bartender says there is a horse in the back u pay a dollar and then try to make the horse laugh. so they guy pays a dollar, goes in the back and the horse starts laughing his ass off. the guy takes the money and leaves. next day he sees another jar of money. he asks the bartender what the jar of money is for. the bartender says there is a horse in the back u pay a dollar and then try to make the horse cry. the guy pays a dollar goes in the back and the horse starts crying his eyes out. the guy comes up takes the jar of money and starts to leave and the bartender says hey now u won both jars of money... so tell me whats your secret, how did u do it? the guy says well, the first time i told the horse i had a bigger dick then him. the second time i showed him.

whats the difference between a sandwhich and a baby?


i dont fuck my sandwhich before it eat it.


wahts the difference between a corvette and and 30 dead babies?

i dont have a corvette in my garage.

whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?


the mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.


wahts the difference between a mormon and a christian?

a christians family tree is a bunch of branches.


a mormons family tree is a circle.

What do Macys and a Priest have in common?

All boy's underwear, half off.

What do you call a mexican girl with only one tooth?
Juanita (said one-eata)

What do you man with a rabbit up his arse?
Warren

remembered another:
what did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?
dam

[This message has been edited by teasha (edited 12-17-2002).]

Hahaha

None of the jokes so far are racist and in each country you replace abo or nigger withe the dumbfucks from your area in my case they are the kerrymen.
Anyway!
Whats the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
You can use pitchforks on the dead babies!
Now Im pretty sure thats offensive if not racist or sexist.
Why do women have legs?
So they dont leave trails like slugs!
Whats a perfect 10 in a woman?
Someone waist high no teeth and a flat head so you can rest your drink on her!
Whats a perfect 10 in a cinderella?
Someone who suks and fucks til midnight then turns into a pizza and a 6 pack!
So many more but whats the point its all just to easy!
By the way there are a couple of joke posts in the i found it on the web forum.

How do you kill a mexican?
Throw a nickel down the cliff

How do u kill more mexicans?
Tell them its still down there