I've been living the same day for so long now. Atleast...11 years I suppose.
Basically, I wake up, I feel fucked, I read, I get pressured into studying(I'm homeschooled), then I get on the computer or I read some more, I eat off and on, usually banquet dinners and shit. If my parents go off somewhere I jack off or play guitar and scream and if I'm lucky I get high off some OTC drug.
This is my day- weekend or not. Sometimes I get so sick of my parents, of my relatives and my surrondings. Venting frustration is pretty hard for me, since I feel guilty as fuck. So what do you bored people do out there to break up the monotany of life.
Even though I'm sure none of you have such a pathetic one as me *takes pride in being lame*

HAHA.
Got a shotgun?

Take a walk. Observe things. Don't look at a tree and call it a tree, look deeper. Marvel at the texture of the bark, the smoothness of each leaf. Ponder the fractal mechanics behind its seemingly random beauty. Think of what animals might live in the tree, whether they be brightly colored caterpillars or playful squirrels. Imagine for a moment that you can see the individual cells, and watch the chlorophyll absorb the sunlight.

Look deeper. That always makes me feel better, knowing that I'm just as complex and unbelievable as these things.

quote:

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Originally posted by ThetaReactor:
Take a walk. Observe things. Don't look at a tree and call it a tree, look deeper. Marvel at the texture of the bark, the smoothness of each leaf. Ponder the fractal mechanics behind its seemingly random beauty. Think of what animals might live in the tree, whether they be brightly colored caterpillars or playful squirrels. Imagine for a moment that you can see the individual cells, and watch the chlorophyll absorb the sunlight.

Look deeper. That always makes me feel better, knowing that I'm just as complex and unbelievable as these things.

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I do that sometimes, I don't fail to sing to my surrondings when im in the woods, sometimes I even talk to the trees.
I do look deeper, but I can't compare myself to them, they seem to control themselves where I don't. Alot of people need to slow down and think though, my problem- as I have been told, is that I think too much. It really bugs me when stupid people tell me I think too much. Gosh, you can never think too much.

Learn how to learn.

My life has (I feel) a great quality because I am willing to learn just about anything.

Right now I'm learning about: German language, PHP, the .NET platform, the history of Carlos the Jackal, basic electronics, small firearms, basic chemistry, Neuro Linguistic Programming (great stuff) and nutrition.

An active mind is a healthy and ofter happy mind.

edit: maybe I should learn how to proof-read. :(
Cheers.

[This message has been edited by Who's Your Daddy? (edited 10-08-2002).]

just get a goddamn skateboard

If you don't REALLY LIKE change, you can't change. So learn to love it and make shit happen.

So monotany is bad? Why is this? Do you want excitement or something? If you want excitement then I would recommend that you start playing with explosives. Worked for me.

i myself smoke weed

Sometime in your life you will have periods of instability, on the road, pissed off the wrong person, putting your balls on the line for your own business, etc.. Then you will look back on this monotony and call it paradise, not that a repetitive existance doesn't suck, right now I am broke and unemployed and my life revolves around 1-2 hours of job search, then Tokyo Extreme Racer Zero, and posting on totse, it chews wad. But I know sometime in the future I will be wishing I was back here. Oh yeah, and smoke weed too.

quote:

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Originally posted by TheSell0ut:
I've been living the same day for so long now. Atleast...11 years I suppose.
Basically, I wake up, I feel fucked, I read, I get pressured into studying(I'm homeschooled), then I get on the computer or I read some more, I eat off and on, usually banquet dinners and shit. If my parents go off somewhere I jack off or play guitar and scream and if I'm lucky I get high off some OTC drug.
This is my day- weekend or not. Sometimes I get so sick of my parents, of my relatives and my surrondings. Venting frustration is pretty hard for me, since I feel guilty as fuck. So what do you bored people do out there to break up the monotany of life.
Even though I'm sure none of you have such a pathetic one as me *takes pride in being lame*

---

You sound like me, without the political convictions, except I don't have drugs.
You should FORCE yourself to study, its the manly thing to do. This way, you learn more, faster and can appreciate things like jacking off more. The worst thing about homeschooling is usually a lack of structure. Force structure into your life. Find something to complete (book chapter, science experiment, artwork), get comfortable and don't stop until you've completed.
Its like doing push-ups until your in agony- when you stop its bliss, AND you've accomplished something you'll keep until you neglect it.
You must be unfulfilled, you need to experiment with something besides drugs until you find meaningful things to do. Sometimes droll tasks lead to rich destinies.

Its odd, these posts don't really reflect anything about me, I'm not really afraid of change, maybe I just don't see that changing is a reality. Honestly it doesn't seem like I could change my life if I wanted to, the only way I know to change it all is if I ran away- killed everyone I know- or blew my self up. I am not doing any of those, and I'm not all together sure why I'm not going to.
But I do know that I would welcome change, a change in life, as long as I felt assured that I could deal with it.
By the way, I am in no way going to try and be 'manly' I have a hard enough time being 'human' much less being some sociological stereotype.
I am past appreciating masturbation - and I don't know learning my abc's will help me appreciate that anymore.
The fact is, I complete tons of things, they just don't seem to go for the good of anything, they don't seem to account for anything.
You basically told me to keep doing my schedule and enjoy it. I'm tired of making do with things, maybe if I wait long enough I'll find a door of opportunity to jump through. Thats how it usually works.
If in the future I have a purpose for living, I would never hope that my life was back to is now. This is instability, I feel something growing in me, and I can only call it, 'frustration' or 'restlessness'.
I don't necessarily want excitement, I would just like a reason or purpose. Doing things you mentally cannot stand is a form of torture. I like the 'smoke weed' ideas, but it seems like I'm the only person who gets high around here and I don't know any drug sellers. I hate skateboarders with an oddly burning passion. Learning knowledge that you'll never use is a bad way to keep from boredom, since learning stuff I don't think I can use makes me bored.
Knowledge is useless unless you have wisdom to use with it.

Acquire a drug addiction.

Cheers,
Lost

quote:

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Originally posted by LostCause:
Acquire a drug addiction.

Cheers,
Lost

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I had one of those, and now I can't remember what it was I was addicted to.
By the way are you a fan of the toadies?

quote:

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Originally posted by syphon detonator:
just get a goddamn skateboard

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An inliner promoting skateboarding? There's something you don't see every day.

[This message has been edited by TOWCHBob (edited 10-09-2002).]

What you need is change, I can see it clearly. You say, "I hate skateboarders with an oddly burning passion"...hating others is usually related to disliking yourself. It's okay to dislike certain people and things, but a burning hatred of lots of different, unique people is a sign that there's something wrong.

If you're just sitting around jerking off all the time, you need to get out into the world somehow...I felt the same way as you do for a long time, then I opened my eyes...
You need a girlfriend, dude.

Much of our joy as humans comes from our interactions with other people. Try to make some new friends. Open your mind to new things, get interested in stuff other people are interested in, even if you think it's stupid at first. Get a job or join a club or just do SOMETHING other than sit around letting the world pass you by. School is not a preamble to the rest of your life: you should be living life your way right now. Fuck schedules, fuck structure, fuck all that meaningless bullshit. That's not what's really important in life.

You might want to tell your parents that things aren't all good with you...if they really care about you they will do something to help.

If you feel like you are alone, the world can be a shithole. But once you start looking for love and beauty in the people and places around you...everything just suddenly gets better.

quote:

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Originally posted by ThetaReactor:
Take a walk. Observe things. Don't look at a tree and call it a tree, look deeper. Marvel at the texture of the bark, the smoothness of each leaf. Ponder the fractal mechanics behind its seemingly random beauty. Think of what animals might live in the tree, whether they be brightly colored caterpillars or playful squirrels. Imagine for a moment that you can see the individual cells, and watch the chlorophyll absorb the sunlight.

Look deeper. That always makes me feel better, knowing that I'm just as complex and unbelievable as these things.

---

"haha got a shotgun?"
no just joking, actually that may work i can't focus enuff to do that, wish i could.
umm.. get a job, save up and travel.
the minute u r on the plane or whatever your mode of trasport. u will not even remember where u r coming from. its the best way to run away from life.
try Brazil its beautifull and incredibly cheap, wait how old r u? ok, so well think of when u r over 18, loads of International volunteer websites u can check out.

find a good buletin board on the net and read and listen and hear other people's opinions and stuff.
it can get quit interesting sometimes...

Maybe you should learn how to lie and learn some karate or some fighting style or something. get a playstation? be a spy. take up a really interesting sport, under wtare hockey great for keeping you interested so is swimming and the like

I try to contact friends to do stuff... I can never hook up with them so I end up hanging out by myself. I do whatever the fuck I feel like.
www.subgenius.com www.cacophony.org www.laughingsquid.org

Do whatever you feel like, but so I don't feel quilty about sugesting that, read http://www.hermetic.com/sabazius/ozgloss.htm

quote:

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Originally posted by Who's Your Daddy?:
Learn how to learn.

My life has (I feel) a great quality because I am willing to learn just about anything.

Right now I'm learning about: German language, PHP, the .NET platform, the history of Carlos the Jackal, basic electronics, small firearms, basic chemistry, Neuro Linguistic Programming (great stuff) and nutrition.

An active mind is a healthy and ofter happy mind.

edit: maybe I should learn how to proof-read.
Cheers.

[This message has been edited by Who's Your Daddy? (edited 10-08-2002).]

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ooh, you do german? then what the hell does jawhol mean?

and Theta, a tree is a tree, nothing else, if it wasnt a tree it wouldnt be called a tree

quote:

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Originally posted by TheSell0ut:
I would welcome change, a change in life, as long as I felt assured that I could deal with it.
..........
The fact is, I complete tons of things, they just don't seem to go for the good of anything, they don't seem to account for anything.
..........
Knowledge is useless unless you have wisdom to use with it.

---

Believe it or not, most people can't really deal with change, but they do change when the need is strong enough.
It seems to me that you're comfortable in you misery. Don't you believe in anything? Isn't there anything wonderful you've ever wanted to do or achieve?
You're the only one that's gonna change your life, by making decisions and sticking to them, not by waiting for some outside influence to do it for you.
I've suffered sever depression in the past, like I didn't get out bed for a week, but what got me through was finding something I could create that was mine and I was proud of.

To address a few replies:

Hateing skateboarders? No its not because I hate myself- thats one of those psychological generalities that I am familiar with.
No, I used 'hate' because I felt like exaggerating. I don't enjoy skateboarders, nor their group mentality. Of course the skateboard itself doesn't share any of those quirks.
Happy with my misery? Obviously I'm not content with it.
You're right, I'm the only one who can make a move. However, it feels like I'm on a ledge, looking for the rope, to swing across with. Yet its not there.
I practice guitar alot, infact thats the only future I know of that I have. I tend to look at time as a bearer of chances. Having a girlfriend is the last thing I want right now. Seeing as how I'm trying to not depend on anyone except for myself.
I've finally figured out that I can't depend on other people to make me happy.
Relying on my parents is the last thing I want to do, I live and breathe for the day I can say I owe them nothing. But not as much as I wait for the day I can finally be alone with out anyone knowing where I am except myself.
Vi, I know especially how people despise change. Infact, sometimes we despise the change itself- it doesn't even matter if the change is good or bad.

Now for the expected words, the ones which completely pull me into the whole psychological profile of a angst-ridden teenager.
I'm 17.