Oldschool, I guess, way back.

My life? People. God knows I'm sorry for being such an asshole.

Memories, Memories, Memories - no need to confess, everyone knows we still love eatch other.

I've been off heroin for exactly a week today. I guess Jaded's phone call was a little helpfull. Thanks buddy. It was hard... It was a confrontation. My family surrounded me and said, Jack, you're an addict. So I stoped and thought, and said, No I'm not, I'm only spending $125 a day on heroin because it's FUN.

So withdrawals are a real bitch. I'm talking bowel movements, non stop vomiting, no sleep for days - muscle cramps, cold chills... and an over all feeling of you're going to die.

But I came over it, at my parents house. They took me in as shelter, as they always do those fucking parents, and provided me with the space and love needed to puke my brains out for hours on end.

I somehow managed to get into the E.R. from lack of fluids and a panic attack - they loaded me with Valium and I slept. Since then, my stomache as been a little eaiser. Everyday it gets better, I can wake up a little easier and I can eat a little more. Pretty soon I'll be so far away from the drugs that they won't even be apart of my life.

I just hope I haven't screwed up my life so much that I can't get it back on track.

They told me the mental cravings would be the worst - But while I was vomiting in some sort of insomniac cold chills goosebumped state I laughed, and said - this will be the hardest.

The mentals are hard. It's white knuckle hard. Like that feeling of having to go to the bathroom but you're forced to sit. Like a bus ride with no bathroom.

I'll beat it.

I'm doing ok, I guess.

God knows where I go from here.

bravo! don't give in!

good work. hope you make it. some people i know can go clean for months, and all it takes is to be somewhere, to see someone, to hear a noise, and theyre off again. or theyre craving. its a pet monkey that you cant ever fully kick, me thinks.

Yes, dont worry, TOTSE will be your drug now...

Good for you. Yeah, totse is addictive too. I find myself typeing in "www.totse.com" at school when i'm supposed to be working, or when I go to do anything online, just out of habit.

good.

quote:

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Originally posted by confuzious:
Good for you. Yeah, totse is addictive too. I find myself typeing in "www.totse.com" at school when i'm supposed to be working, or when I go to do anything online, just out of habit.

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You uhh work at school? whats up with that?

Congratulations Diluted

Hang in there!

J.C. Stanton
jcstanton at totse dot com

I'd bring along some barf bags if I were you since you never quite know when you could go off.

Stick with it, the hardest part is over with...

Good stuff man, i wish i had that sort of dtermintation, i'd build a house!

That's fine. Methadone is hard.

I use Herion from time to time, but i never got addicted to it.

Your doing good, dont give in.

My cousins on heroin - i have no time for him. He stole from his parents my uncle and auntie - he stole from his sister and caused a struggle in the family. He killed a kid,mugged a kid.

I dont like him for what he is but i love him for what he was. Man it sucks. Stay true friend please. Dont be like Luke my cousin who i cant forget but i dont want to remember.

Peace Renegade,

quote:

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God knows where I go from here.

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Anywhere but backwards...

Good job man.

I ran into a former high school friend not too long ago. "Whatcha been up to?" turned into her telling me of her battle with heroin.

Be glad you had family to help you out, what it took for her to quit was waking up to find her best friend dead. She had been asleep for a few hours with him right there next to her on the couch dead.

I don't rightly know you, but I'm glad for you that you had the opportunity to avoid this type of experience. Now you have a chance to keep it that way. And for your sake I hope you do. Peace.

I see nothing good in your future, try to prove me wrong.