Sometimes i wish i was dead so i wouldnt have to put up with all the shit that goes on at school. so if ya feel the same say something!

shit that goes on in school, home, life, relationships, lifes a bitch and it just keeps getting harder, luckily i think we get tougher as we grow and that's the only way we don't collapse under the pressure that's put upon us every single day, a few times i've toyed with the idea of ending my life to end my suffering, but i figured it was a permanant solution to a temperary problem, in short yes i feel the same way as you, just hang in there

ScorchedWeasel, are you a gohovas witness cause you sound like one ie. always trying to make peace and guff

Lifes a bitch and then you die. I could argue with that i believe in more of the saying "shit happens".

Gohova - its Jehova.

Peace Renegade,

Cause' most people think, "Life sucks, and then you die." I disagree. I think life sucks, then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy, you lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of the sudden the cancer goes into remission. You look good you feel good, you're going great, and all of the sudden you have a stroke, you can't move your right side. And one day you step off the curb at 68'th by Lincoln Center and *bang*, you get hit by a bus. And then, maybe you die.

-Denis Leary

hey, mr heg, if your life sucks because of other people, dont kill yourself - kill them and then maybe can you consider killing yourself.

lol, jehova's witness, me? hahaha

if you stopped being so whiny and self pitying you'd realize that you could have it a lot worse, I very much doubt whatevers going on for you in school is worth offing yourself over.

that said, I understand that it can be a tough time, but just because some asshole at school rips you a new one, doesn't mean you have to rip yourself an even bigger one...

I think suicide is natures way of thinning out the people that are too weak to deal with the shit people overcome everyday. No matter what happens to you, just remember someone, somewhere has it 10 times worse and just keeps on going on with their life.

I could never see myself committing suicide. I don't know why people would take such a drastic move to fix something. The way I figure it, there are steps. Deal with it, hurt someone else, run away, hurt yourself. Why would someone skip those and just hurt themselves first? At least try changing your life before you end it.

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I could never see myself committing suicide

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i could see myself. then i realize there's things i haven't done.

get married. be addicted to heroin. a whole shitload of stuff

(ah, dennis leary is my hero)

life's a bitch, smoke with her! (well, then get kicked in the nuts the day after, have them swell up to football size, get them infected, realize the fuckin bitch gave you herpes, go to shoot her, get run into by a tractor trailer on the way driving her, live in a body cast and on a respirator for a couple months, suddenly go into coma for a decade or two, wake up just as your family decides to pull the plug.)

OK, i graduated in 1999 in Wyoming, the Colombine Shooting, although unsuprising, was felt in every school district in america. I miss school a little bit, the social environment and not being expected, and thus not being paid, to do any work except learn. was it productive, no, did i make it productive, yes. have things changed since 99, absoloutly and it is disturbing. Now 'under god' is unconstitutional but tax payers can provide for catholic vouchers, and now studens are drug tested at random. *sigh*, in the age of columbine student civil rights are the first to go.

i thought about killing myself lots of times but then the world would win and i would lose. i cant let that happen now can i?

Real men do not commit suicide. Real men know just how much life sucks. Real men grit their teeth and take it bill after bill, war after war, tumor after tumor. You don't greet Death, you punch him in the throat repeatedly as he drags you away. I think John Wayne said it best when he said, "Fuck Death and the lung cancer he rode in on."

John Wayne, John Huston, Bill Holden, Bob Mitchum, Clark Gable, Babe Ruth, Lee Marvin, Sam Peckinpah. Men who drank and fought and puked and ate raw meat right off the bone and drank some more and fought some more and puked again and kept on drinking. Men who died of massive heart attacks or sudden brain seizures or who just plain fucking blew up. Men who had cancer six or seven times. Men made out of leather.

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Originally posted by Dark_Magneto:
You don't greet Death, you punch him in the throat repeatedly as he drags you away.

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Hi, my name is Dark_Magneto and I like to pretend quotes off of No Fear shirts are my own. lol. just kidding~

lifes a bitch, but simply put you have 2 choices: to be or not to be, simple? not being involves nothing. being involves sumthin, probably with sum good bits.
so u might as well not die

*sigh* Im not actually going to commit suicide, I just wanted to see some of the replies and feelings of others toward the topic. I have thought about it though just like anyone else in a hard situation but then something good happens like you get head or something which brighten up your sad life for a while. I come from Australia so i dont really know about what happens in American schools but from what I have heard they sound pritty fucked up. Yeah well anyway thats just what I think. I have also heard that in American schools there are social levels and guff which doesnt really happen in Australian school for eg. the cool group (or however you want to put it) the normal and the geeks. This doesnt really happen in Australia, usually everone is given a chance. So if your from another country besides Australia explain to me what its like?

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. I come from Australia so i dont really know about what happens in American schools but from what I have heard they sound pritty fucked up.

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just cut that quote to "American schools are pretty fucked up."

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I have also heard that in American schools there are social levels and guff which doesnt really happen in Australian school for eg. the cool group (or however you want to put it) the normal and the geeks.

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and the social levels have sublevels.

it's worse in middle school than high school, but it still sucks.

american juviniles are bastards. (well, at least around these here parts)

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Originally posted by Heg-h:
*sigh* Im not actually going to commit suicide,

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Dammit! *pays Joe Boo $5* you were right...

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Originally posted by rlpinca:
No matter what happens to you, just remember someone, somewhere has it 10 times worse and just keeps on going on with their life.

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*Raises hand and franticly waves from the back of the room*

I happen to be one of those of whom he speaks.

I can assure you that nothing that you've yet experienced even comes close to the problems that I have in my life.

And like rlpinca says: I keep on going on. Granted, though, there have been times - and I'm sure there will be times again - when I wasn't sure I wanted to; When it felt like the universe was a living, sentient entity that had it out for me. Like I would never get ahead [though never totally sink], and would be denied happiness, should I try to do something that would bring it about.

And while the second part is true [so far, in this life], it ain't due to the universe. One thing I realized [one acid trip, I do believe] is that - even should the universe be a living thing - it certainly don't give a f**k about you or me.

And, granted some - probably many - of the pot holes I've hit on the road of life [Note to self: watch it, you're in danger of going way over board. Take the waxing poetic down several notches].

Many of my problems are self induced or self inflicted. But many are not. I have no control over them. Yet it at times still seems uncanny how, just when I see light at the end of the tunnel, there's a cave-in. But never so bad that I can't, eventually, dig myself out. Or if I find myself in a situation that threatens to be something that could make me happy or enjoy my life -WHAM! [and I don't mean the band].

But I go on because I have no choice, really. And, what the hell, if I keep going long enough maybe, well, just maybe.

Besides, the way I see it, no body really
knows what comes after death? If anything? [I, personally, don't think there is any life after death; that it's just something created by human kinds collective psyche as a buffer against dwelling on the thought of eventual nothingness. I could be wrong, though. I'll be the first to admit it. Thus am I an agnostic].

Either way, though, I want to live as long as I can. If there is an after life, it will be for the rest of forever. So you might as well put as many years in this life as you can on the chance that there isn't any. 30, 60, 120 years is nothing next to eternity.

And if there is no life after death? Well, obviously you'd want as much of life as you can, while you can.

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Originally posted by Jadedfool:
if you stopped being so whiny and self pitying you'd realize that you could have it a lot worse, I very much doubt whatevers going on for you in school is worth offing yourself over.

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This is true, and brings me to the other thing that helps me get by:

"No matter what, things can always get worse."

Despite all of the pain I have, the time I don't get to spend with my daughter, my physical limitations, it could be worse.

I know that this sound like just a glib one-liner, but it really is a powerful thing to keep in mind - and perhaps several or more years from now a light will go on over your head and you will know what I'm talking about.

*a corollary to that is:

"Never ask 'How bad could it get", or "How bad can it be?", unless you are fully prepared to find out (Cause sure as shit you then will)*

Y'know... damn you Meta... What if one of us had something insightful or interesting to say? Now we can't because you had to post a long, meaningful rant that is better than whatever we could. I hate going second. First is even worse.

When contemplating the level of suckyness that you have achieved so far in your life, do not look to others. Do not compare your life to others, because while you may find that you could have it worse, you will also find you could have it better.

To me it does not matter if someone, somewhere has it ten times worse or if they have it 100 times better. What matters to me is that right then, right there, my life is a depressing shit. What I usually do is think about different ways I can improve the situation...

Damn, more later.

Woo, more now.
Luckily no one posted.

I have never found thinking of others suffering as a way to alleve my own. So what if others have it so much worse than me? Maybe that will remind me that I shouldn't be getting so distressed over the situation, but even that lasts only moments. I am empathetic of others who have hard lives and I am not a self centered bastard, but I have just never found looking to others helpful in dealing with my own life. I think about my own life and ways I improve it, if only for a moment more. I ponder all the things I could say or do, but I don't usually do them (because I'm an introvert, shy kind of guy). But this still helps. Because now I know that my life is bad, not because of others but because of myself. And I suck it up and just move on. I don't dwell on things because most things last only days or less. Why harp on a moment? Move on.

That's my main philosophy: Move on. If something happens you deal with it. You don't just stand around complaining about it. Deal with it. Deal with it and move on.

I understand that by looking at other's lives you can compare yours and theirs, realize that theirs is worse and then come to the realization that if they can be tough enough to deal with all of their shit why can't you. But if I could deal with my shit the same way someone else could, then I wouldn't be who I am. Everyone of us lives our lives differently and must deal with things accordingly. Find your own way to push past the depression and anxiety.

I don't know... I always wonder why it seems so important to people to dwell on mistakes. You make a mistake and you learn from it. Life deals you shit and you deal with it. Why kill yourself? Why give up all the things that could be just because of the one or two things that are? And if you can't deal with it, just forget about it. Bury it inside you and deal with it later when you're strong enough. Always stay cool, never let anger or depression overwhelm you.

How many people even read these long posts?

[This message has been edited by xenosss (edited 08-31-2002).]

What is this urge we feel that forces us to search for community? Why must we suffer not alone but with others? Maybe that's why God was invented; because people needed someone else to complain to.

lol good foolosophy (notice I said fool thats cause your dumb) not just joking!

man i just had it in my head shit! anyways ill tell a short story. my cosin told me this(he lives ina town with only like 20ppl) so any wya one of his friends he onlyh has 3 commtited suicide in a nearby town when he used a .303 rifle to blow his head off only he pointed it at his upper jaw. so when he pulled hte trigger it only blew off the first half of his face. so he fell to the ground STILL ALIVE!. this chick and dude rush to the seen to see the dude with half a face gugling blood up from his throat. the kid lived for like a half hour. probly in agony and pain wising he never shot him self. so when u pull the trigger, slice ur wrists or drink posion. you will to live will kick in and make u puke up the posion hold ur wirsts and if u dont die from the gun then will ull be gurgling on the ground

p.s. i did see the blood stains on the road because my cousin, the guys friend, showed it to me so don't kill urself beacuse before u know it you wosh u never pulled the trigger

Yes death is funny, ha ha ha ha!