 The Gangster (Fiction)
school
Let me start by getting everything clear. I�m no fuckin toy cunt. I�m a fuckin G. And I�m not the kinda G people fuck with. I�m a fucking madman, and I�ve got connections could smoke your fucking arse in a second. I�m a soldier, I�m a gangster, in the hardest crew in the fuckin city. I�m with the motherfuckin M.G.B, the motherfuckin Marion Graph B-Boyz. Cunts want dope, they want a hot ride, they come to us. Nobody fucks with us, we�re the hardcore element. And fucked if I�m goin to fucking English class.
A few of the boyz are with me. Motherfuckin Big Lanky Paul, he�s a fuckin madman and he�s built like a . He rumbles like a double Glock, swingin them fists like motherfuckin bullets. He sinks billies like a hardcorer Chong, and he�s always up for takin care of the M.G.B business. O.G Mick, he�s not a rumbler tho, he�s a fuckin killer. Word is he caught this nigger fucking his bitch so he drove him out to the Barrier and buried the cunt alive. Not the fuckin first time either, I bet. So that�s how he got his name, Original Gangsta Michael. And M.C Bladez the fuckin cunt, fucking sik freestyler, and pretty fuckin sik with his knife too. He takes it every fuckin where he goes, and he�ll fuckin use it too. Couple gooks tried to roll us up on Hindley and he�s out with it and stuck the motherfucker, right in his leg. Nobody fuckin fucks with M.G.B, you startin to understand?
As for me, I fit right in with them. I�m Wired Mike, the other Michael. And they don�t call me that on account of the fuckin mad motherfuckin amounts of drugs I do, every fuckin day, they call me that cause if you fuck with me like Ron Jones did you get your jaw wired back together, and maybe you can keep your fuckin teeth if you can yack them back up again. I�m the ladies man, the motherfucking Romeo Capruulay. Don Juan motherfucker, that�s me, I get more poon than all the rest. Bladez might get more ho�s sure, but I get more fuckin pussy cause I got myself a fuckin nympho of a bitch.
But anyway, we weren�t gonna fuckin take shit from Mr. fuckin baldy cunt Williams, so we duck into the dunnies and spark a durry while we wait for all the civilians to get to class. Then we�re out and fuckin moving, mobilised for fuckin war. And first stop is the St. Albans Deli, so we unload our bags in the alley behind the Bank.
the deli
"Two bucks worth of hot chips thanks mate"
This is how the operation goes, and I�m the Master of fucking Ceremonies now. Two bucks for five minutes of stuffing our bags with drinks, magazines, chocolates, whatever we can flog off to the toy cunts back at school.
We do this often, and we don�t get caught. We�ll never get caught, we�re too professional for that. Fuckin pro lifters. The daft cunt behind the fryer will never know better. I grab a couple cokes out the fridge and stash them. Real fuckin quiet, the fridge door don�t make a fucking sound. A couple iced coffee�s and I�m looking round the cardboard lolly displays. Handfuls of lifesavers, chuppa-chups and chocolate bars go into my bag, fuck yeah, fucking professional. Now I�m moving to the tricky part. The true risky shit. I walk over to the magazine stand, start flipping through some. I glance over to the fryer to make sure the cunt�s not watching us and slip a couple Pictures and a Penthouse in. Not that I need them, but the other boyz do. They�re not fuckin geeks who can�t get any, they�re just such fuckin psychos they scare most of the hoes off. The price for livin by your own rules, not givin a shit about The Man and society. Besides, the desperate cunts back at the school would probly them with the plastic off and fuckin spunk dripping from them, the sick perverted cunts.
I hear the sound of the chips being salted, so we zip up our bags and try to look bored. O.G pulls it off and so do I, of course, but Paul and Bladez are grinnin over a job well done. Not that I blame them, but there�s a fuckin time and place, so I smack Bladez across the back of the head.
"Chill nigger,"
Paul I don�t worry about. He�s a fuckin madman, I said.
Mick chucks a two-buck coin onto the counter, takes the chips and we leave. With toy cunt goodbyes of course. We�re good fucking customers, aren�t we?
car park
Now we fuckin kick back in the suburban jungle. We got drinks, food, porn, weed. Pass round the first bottle of coke till it�s empty, and we�ve got everything we need. Bladez cuts a shotty and grommit-hole into the bottle, and I�ve got a plastic tube off the bunsen burners I flogged out of science, and Paulie�s got a nice fat beegee and a square of al-foil. I�m the only cunt skilled enough with the al-foil, nimble fingers. I roll the durries and the spliffs, and I�m probly the only cunt here who can treat a clit the way it should be fuckin treated. Nimble fuckin fingers man, so, I mould it over my thumb, poke a little hole with Bladezeys shank, and stick it into place with chewed gum. Mick runs into some cunts front yard and fills the bong from the tap, and we�re suckin down billies like mad motherfuckers. One round, two round, three round, and it�s fuckin maaaad fucking chronic, my scalps already fucking numb. Four round, five round and we chuck the billy into the Goodwill Bin. Let�s smell them pov clothes now. One thing I can�t fuckin stand is cunts getting around in cheap threads. FUBU, Adidas, Everlast, that�s the shit cunts gotta be wearing. Pov cunts who wear shit like that deserve to smell like fucking bong water. I�m up for trying the liquor store, but seems Mick�s got a surprise for us. Pulls out a little speed bag and...
"The fuck is that???"
"It�s whizz man"
I�m not a fuckin clueless cunt when it comes to chemicals man, I done pharmaceutical cocaine pills for fucks sake. Little purple pills, get you nice and doped up, relaxed and shit. Paul thinks he�s the dealer round here, but I got my fuckin connections. That cunt Justin fuckin Fenton, we�re tight. I didn't even know pharmacies made cocaine till he sold us them pills. He might walk round lookin like a dumb cunt biker or goth or stoner or whatever the fuck style he�s trying for, but he can smoke more billies than me, and my record�s eight in a row, if you can believe some cunt can top that. Pauly tops us both tho, but that�s Pauly. But what I�m sayin is, I�ve had my share of hard shit man. The bogan cunt sets us up with fuckin PHARMACEUTICAL FUCKIN COOOOCAINE, the king of fuckin drugs, and I know Pauly�s never had shit like that. Little purple pills, get you nice and drowsy man. Like you just wanna crash out on the fuckin concrete and lay there for hours. Justin and his dickhead mates didn�t seem to get the same from it, they just kept fuckin giggling like fuckin sheila�s. "Ya like that coke, grade A from columbia?" the cunt kept saying and pissin himself with laughin. We�re as tight as I can be outside the M.G.B, but if he didn�t have connections I want I�d fuckin deck the cunt.
So we�re all staring at this bag of what looks like half melted fuckin sugar grain things. Looks like somebody put their whizz in fuckin vaseline.
"I�m not fuckin toy, ya cunt, I know what whizz looks like"
"It�s crystal man, the purest. Thirty bucks gets you in."
I�ll have to put off buyin that sik FUBU shirt for a week, but mum pays us me weekly allowance tomorrow, a measly fuckin hundred bucks, so I fork over my share. Bladezy does too, but toy fuckin Mick says no. Fucking bullshit that cunt�s ever killed anyone, I can tell you that. We give him a bit of hassle, but he�s not into chemicals and shit, the fuckin toof. I know for a fact tho, there�s no way I can snort that gel shit up my nose. Try railing toothpaste for fucks sake.
"And how the fuck do ya snort it?"
"Ya don�t unless ya got glucose and shit."
He gets out a dab and puts it on his key.
"Just put that shit on ya finger and rub it into your mouth"
I let Bladez go first, not cause I�m fuckin scared mind, cause I�m true to my mates. When you die, you die, who gives a shit right. He slaps it on and it looks like it tastes like fucking dick. I get the next one and rub it into me gums like on the movies. It fucking BURNS like FUCK man, like Deep Heat and crushed glass mixed together. But I�m no fuckin toy, so I put up with it. Paul goes off to the public shitter, probly to jack up the daft cunt. No fuckin way would you catch me jackin in some filthy fucking toilet full of piss and shit and cum.
liquor store
We cruise in, we know what we�re after. Grab a couple longnecks of Coopers Extra, fuckin stout like the malt liquor the Yank homies drink. Grab 2 litres of goon, fucking Kaiser Stuhl, fucking poison mate. Slap them on the counter and it�s...
"And a fifty gram of Ox thanks mate."
We�re all on the Ox, the true fuckin tobacco. It�s what the hardcore crims smoke, so it�s what the M.G.B smoke.
"Sure thing mate, you got any I.D. for me?"
I flip through my wallet, trying to look puzzled and shit
"Nah mate, nothin with a photo on it. We�re all nineteen tho, card one of them."
Mick slaps down his Student ID. The piece of shit fucking clerk just looks at it and fuckin smiles, the cunt, and shakes his head.
"Don�t accept cards that you changed with texta. Sorry boys."
For some reason man, and it might be that whizz I�m started to get pretty fuckin psyched.
"How bout you just sell us the shit anyhow, bitch?"
He�s not smiling but he�s bringin up a ballbat from under the counter. He�s bigger than us sure, but Bladez and Mick got knives, I got a couple ninja stars and when Paul gets back he�ll definitely have them metal rods you use for punching.
We ain�t used to bein dissed like that, so the cunt�s deserved what he�s got coming. I�m out with my first star and peg it straight at the fuckers ugly face but it hits him in the side of the cheek with the flat side and bounces off. Bladez is coming in with the knife but the fuckin cunt lays this fuckin smack to his wrist with the fuckin bat, fuckin breaks the fuckin thing, the cunt. Mick and Bladez leg it, so I�m right behind them. I�d stay and finish the fuckin cunt, but it�s gang loyalty and shit. I spin around and throw the other star, but it bounces off the carpet. We fuckin start leggin it, Pauly too now that he�s seen some shit�s up. The cunt�s lookin pretty fuckin agro too, sweatin and fuckin red as. I�m startin to feel that way too, and fuckin pissed off about losin my weapons. If I can get some more I�ll fuckin practise or something. I didn�t know those cunts could be so fuckin tricky to throw.
the city
Revenge will be ours. The M.G.B doesn�t forgive, or fucking forget. But for now the joint will be crawling with pigs, so we�ll have to postpone a few days. But I want revenge for my fucking stars, and Bladez wants revenge for his broken wrist. He�s a tough cunt that Bladez, didn�t even realise his hand was broken till I told him. I skinned up a reefer for him only, painkiller like. The M.G.B watches each others backs.
But for now it�s just get the fuck away as quick as, man. We leg it back to the school, and the cunts are just getting out. The M.G.B is reformed, except for Sloth who�s probly sitting at home pissed out of his fucking brain. But now we�re a real fuckin gang, sixteen strong. Sixteen homies might be able to take one cunt with a bat down no worries, but the piggers are the problem, so we just fuck off to the city, tag a bit, boost a few cars for drag races, fuck yeah. Hop on the 243 bus, sittin at the back. My homies are playin some good real shit, some Eminem, some Dre, fuckin hardcore gangsta shit. I�m hangin to get fuckin toasted but you can�t just light up in a fuckin bus, so it�s out with the paper bag and spraycan. Most cunts aren�t into that cause the chrome it leaves on your chin, but I don�t fuckin care. Let�s every cunt know I don�t give a fuckin shit, I�m fuckin hardcore, I�m a real fucking gangster.
Get off the bus on North Terrace, and walk down to the Torrens to light up. Shove a few toy cunts around on the way there, give a few of them a couple smacks in the eyes and ears. Cunts don�t even have to fuck with the M.G.B, we�ll still fuck with them. I�m fuckin ragin off that crystal, it�s hitting in harder than any whizz I�ve had, and we�re all armed up. Knives, machetes, hatchets, Kung Fu Robbo even has a pair of nun-chucks. We were hard boyz, the fuckin M.G.B motherfucker!!!!
A bunch of brothers down on the Torrens banks with plonk and ciggies. Maybe forty or fifty of them, sisters too. Whole families man. I�m straight in there cause I associate best with the black man. I understand the black man cause under my white skin I�m a black man too. Not a dirty fuckin boong like these cunts, but a proper African-American. A fuckin Zulu, a fuckin Nubian prince I am. I walk straight up to the first one I see smokin, inferior tribe to my own, but that�s what you get for livin in a shit country like this.
"Eh man, swap ya a cone for a durry"
He stares at me with blank, empty eyes. I�m thinkin maybe he�s on somethin harder than grass, which is all good, I�ve just made myself another contact.
"Bro, I�ll swap ya a gram of bud for a hit of what you got."
He snorts a laugh at me and goes back to starin at the clouds.
"Yo what the FUCK nigger what�s your FUCKIN problem nigger???"
The rest of the brothers get to their feet, and when I look back for my posse, the M.G.B are already sprinting away.
THE END
Give us some comments and questions, ya toy cunts.
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2002-07-12, 05:46
