life really fucking sucks.. worst part is, everything that happens is basically something you do to yourself, more or less... but the worst part is when things happen to show you how good it *could* be, but it seems like you're just never gonna actually get there.. like standing outside a shop, looking at that $5000 dress you know you'd look perfect in, but you know you're never gonna get the karmic moolah to pay for it... doesn't matter shit really how good a person you are, or how bad, happiness is just a random lottery ticket, sometimes you win little, hardly ever do you win the jackpot, and even if you manage it, there's no rhyme or reason to the winners and the losers..

how'd you do it, how'd you make it work?.. no matter how many times you change things around, are you ever gonna be happy?

No.

Well I guess it is time to dispense some of the cheesy goodness that my grandma use to tell me...






Life is the time spent between little smiles... and if that can not get you through your day, there is eventual relief with death.

Why are you so unhappy????
It's not as if i'm a millionaire or something, but I generally look for the good in every-situation, allthough sometimes hard to find, but that's what keeps me a happy person. You'll find that generally when your down on your luck ther'll be something 2 give u a pick up!!! maybe!
Or again maybe i'm just looking at it from a happy perspective?!

stop being superficial - that is the road to happiness

at what point did anything I say imply I was being superficial about happiness?..

Or at what point did I imply that I'm being unhappy for no good reason?.. I have plenty of reasons to be pissed off as hell at my life right now, and even the good things come with a "this is going to make you feel like shit" proviso.

Sell your soul to me, that will make you happy. I promise.
What are these problems that you're talking about? I can probably offer a better solution.

the whole dress thing seems kind of superficial to me

You have to look diffrentley at life. A $5000 dress??? WTF! You have to look at the small things you posses. You won't notice them until they're gone. And not just material shit.

Sometimes I look at those people from africa on TV. They don't have shit, but still they sing and dance and fuck all day long. And they always simle. Their children are dying from AIDS. But they can still be happy. You probably have a big house, 2 cars, 2 kids, a husband (incl. a job ) and you're unhappy! Look at the things you have like love and health and you'll be happy. It's the small things that make you happy you know. You may think that you would be happy if you had that dress, but you'll probably get sick of it in a month or two. Always remember that you own you're material shit and it doesn't onwn you [e.g. Fight Club (great movie)].

Somehow everyone seems to miss the fact that the $5000 dress was a METAPHOR.

One would think that the phrase 'kharmic moolah', would have given that away..

Oh, and I don't have material shit, OR all that other crap you talk about. I have no freedom to change any of that either.

plz explain! I still don't understand your problem. I think there are like 4 billion people on earth that have ir worse than you in life.

Some people say that a situation is only as bad as you make it out to be. I think that is denial. You have created a world in your head that is better than reality when you follow that statement. But complaining about frivolus things like Wintermute has done is creating a world in your head which is worse than reality. That is even stupider than optimism. It seems you find happiness in money. Money will only bring shallow and vain people happiness. I'm not saying your shallow or vain Wintermute, but maybe you need to look for happiness in other places.

Ah, a thread I can really get into, finally.

Winter, I understood fully what you meant.

Life is the time you spend between having loads of crap dumped on you.
It doesn't matter if you're good or bad: bad things happen to good people, good things to bad people [and visa versa]. There's now law of nature to figure it out or to predict anything. It's a roll of the dice and odds are better than even that you will crap out - every time.

Life's a f**ked up thing to do to someone.

Used to be there was one basic reason I didn't blow my brains out [actually, if it ever really came down to it, my preferred method was and is massive over dose: it's less messy. It's really not fair to make anyone have to clean up after you...]. That reason being the fact that since no one really knows for sure what comes after, if anything, for all I know it could be worse - and it's forever. And since life, no matter what, is on a limited basis, I figure[d] that it'd be better to stick it through the limited time on the chance that after is worse; then you've at least had as long as you could in a better situation [no matter how bad life is, if the after is worse then life, by definition, is a better situation]. And if it turns out that after is better, then, well, you've only spent a limited amount of time in life [no matter how long you may live, it is still a limited time] and the after is, as said, forever.

That was how I used to feel. Now that isn't even enough and the only thing keeping me tied to this pathetic comedy of a life is the fact that it would have mildly adverse effects on my daughter.

Do I sound pissed at something?

Good. I�ve got every right to be.

But this is your thread, Winter, I'll start my own thread.

But it's certainly ok by me that you're pissed off [not that you need or even asked for anyone's permission to be pissed off]. I'm just saying I understand; life does suck.

And if I have to listen to one more person tell me to 'cheer up, life's not so bad', or other such crap [since, due to my back, I walk with my head down, my hands usually behind my back: I appear to be in serious contemplation, so I get these type comments all the f**king time]I'm liable to finally snap.

If you ever hear a story on the news about 'A deranged Hunchback' in the Berkeley area, you'll know I did


[Yes, I am exaggerating; I'm in that kinda mood; or can't you tell?]

Why is it that people can't understand a simple metaphor.

Let me state this very clearly. I don't give a shit about money, I don't want a $5000 dress, if I had 5 grand, I'd have plenty more things to spend it on than a lousy dress. I don't like being broke, but right now, money isn't what concerns me. I don't care to give any of you the specifics of my situation, but suffice to say that those people who do know what's goin on with me, know that it's basically shit, laced over with more shit. When I wrote that last night, I was feeling very depressed about the whole thing, as I do for much of the time, and depressed about the fact that I know, and can *see* that there's something better out there, something I really want, but am prevented from having at least for the time being.. and things being what they are, the situation I'm currently in could adversely affect that better something by the time I am free to go get it.

I don't need people telling me that "things could be worse".. because they don't know how bad it is. Yeah, I'm well aware there are people in worse situations, but I'm not them, and frankly, this is bad enough. Sometimes more than I can deal with. At those times, I vent my frustrations by writing them here, upon occasion. helps. Next time I'll make sure to use plainer language though, since it's obvious that a simple metaphor is beyond many of the readers here..

Meta, yeah, I know what you mean. it's not so much the huge boatload of shit that gets to you, it's the constant pounding of little loads of crap hitting you in the face constantly.. I'd rather drown than submit to chinese water torture..

*sigh*

ah well. things'll change.. I hope.

Metaphor? Say what you mean and mean what you say. How am I supposed to know whether you seriously want that dress? There are actually people who want such insignificant things. Sorry if I mistaken you for one of those sad people. It doesn't matter. Sorry if my attempt to aid your crisis was averted by your metaphorical tongues.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wintermute:
and even the good things come with a "this is going to make you feel like shit" proviso.

---

Oh, c'mon! I don't come with that stamped to my ass, do I?

Yeah you do! and it's YOUR PHONE I SWEAR.

Call me foo!.

ps. feeling better now.

I love you suz. Don't justify yourself to them.

Thanks trippy, I love you too.