Lately I have been having a hard time making it through my day. I feel like I just want to end it all. I hate the fact that it is going to be like this for another 4 or more months. It's hard on my heart, and soul. I find myself crying in my bed, thinking about how much this is hurting me. I have been dreaming about how it will feal and every time I DO dream about it, I dream that it hurts less and less, until it doesn't hurt at all, and then I am at peace with myself...I can't go on living in the summer weather!!! I hate the summer. I want snow! I love winter! I want to go snowboarding. I dream about snowboaring everyday (daydreams) and when I goto sleep. I have this love for my snowboard that no girl could every compare to...
I can ride her all day and she wont get mad
I can look at magazines with naked boards and my board won't get pissed at me
I can trade my board with my friends boards
If I don't like the ride, I can take it to a shop
I can take pics of my board while I use it and she won't mind
Someone can teach me how to ride her properly
If you have more than one snowboard...none of them care
You can get a job at a board shop, and your board won't know

*peace to my boaders*


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[This message has been edited by GHETTO_SMURF (edited 06-08-2001).]

werid....but life is like that.....

Did I ever say you're pretty cool smurf?

i don't know...i wasn't sure if anyone payed attention to me...hehe
(but thank you very much)

*in a quaint voice*
"they love me, they really really love me"

does anyone else snowboard?
i'de be more than happy to chat about experiences
e-mail me


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[This message has been edited by GHETTO_SMURF (edited 06-08-2001).]

as a dysfunctional member of this non-existent society, i am inclined to inform you that you are not the only one voicing your opinion in this rotten cabaret of a world. i think that pearl jam's "jeremy" was a prelude to columbine. blame PJ. off topic, mumbling through haze of demerol. wow. i think i remember fucking blue smurf.

...[B]COME AGAIN...[B]?

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Move to Australia.

Ghetto i thought at first you had Cancer or something that was going to end your life in 4 months. I thought that was very sad. But im the opposite. I hate cold. not that Northern Cali gets very cold. sometimes its cold enough for water to freeze into black ice. cold enough to kill the homeless on the streets. but it doesnt snow (Except the sierrahs.) . But the warm weather makes me happy. it seems like the sky is happy when its blue. dark rain clouds depress me. but on the other side of the coin I love to drink alcohol by myself when its pouring down rain. put on all my rain gear and walk to a park late at night with my CD walkman listening to Chameleons UK, Talk Talk or The Smiths.

im sorry if i missed the orriginal point here.

don't worry witch...it's all good here!

but good news...i convinced my mom to take me to the rockies for a vaction. then she is going to do her own thing, and me and a friend of mine are going to hike up the mountain to the peak (where there is still some snow) and snowboard for just a little bit.

it'll take alot of planning but hell...i'll do anything for some snow right about now.

i love the white stuff!

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ok...

it's called personality, you should try it.

Ghetto.. where r u from? California has snow year round too in some places. Mt Shasta has snow at its summit year round. might wanna check into it. Its a magical place. some say very spiritual. Some have seen Big Foot and Ghosts and all kinds of shit up there. I plan on going some year. In the summer of course. Winter would be nuts.

for the future reference, xanax is the name of the blue smurf.

actually white witch ,cancer, if u survive, can be a very fufilling experiance, no i dont have personal experience, however a close friend did, one of the most interesting people i know, and more alive than ever

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i snowboard.

here in chicago, weve got really hot summers and really cold winters. so in the winter i snowboard, and in the summer i skateboard.

you guys are great..ya know?!?

diluted : what do you mean 'personalit'y i should try it?

white witch: cali, snow??? i thought it was hot all year there...i'll check it out..my neighboors go there every summer to visit family...i'll check it out if i can go with them.

sckbch: xanax ???

unstable247: have you ever been to jasper, or sunshive village, or marmot basin? those three are my regular spots...i love the parks.

lokil: condeine couldn't give me the love that i get from my board!

*peace*

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Good stuff!

I hate the heat and love the snow too, But it never snows where i live. I'd like to try snowboarding if I ever can get myself to a snowy mountian.

wher abouts do you live?

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Southern Louisiana.

Every 8 years or so it snows here but the flakes melt as soon as they touch the ground.
Completely unacceptable!!!

two words...
northern vacation

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GhettoSmurf, I apologize for not responding to you after the secret squirrel cat shit nuts post, I figured you must have been being faceitious since I've seen you areound for some time, now I think what some people might mean is that if you've never really had that feeling"I can't go on like this" with regard to living, and seriously, not just "oh, I wanna go snowboarding" Me I like airtime very much when I was in high school I was on the gymnastics team and every day for a couple years there I'd be upsidedown in the air waiting for the ground to come! looking back I miss that very much. In fact when I realized that I couldn't throw a back flip anymore(or that I'd better not even try) it was after several 3 or4, years of living in during which, my life had gotten increasingly
less enjoyable than I'd have liked, was it cause I'd forgotten to throw a back flip every day? maybe, was it because I thought my wants and needs as far as entertainment and enjoyment in my life were'nt being sufficiently met, yeah, does that make me special? no, does everybody have to go through what everybody has to go through, yes. Do you need to seek out despair in order to have a realistic view of just how "go-onable" summertime is? Does your affection for the sport you love make you a less interesting person? Do you have the ability to see what other people are going through also? Do you really care one way or another?
Hi Ghetto Smurf, I've been here for a while,
I'm weird.

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=/\___/\=
>~@ @~<
>>(xYx)<<

yeah, xanax.

winki!!!!
i can always count on you
thank you :-?
your the best at everything and anything...

your words are so full of meaning...my old english teacher would analyze it to death, looking for metaphors and such...it is great to know someone so full of thoughts and opinions!

so you can't throw a back flip n-e-more? i have this really nice 14' trampoline in my backyard...i don't have to even jump to whip back into a nice, smooht tucked backflip. you, usta be a gymnast? i think that's cool. my cousin (gymnastic teacher) taught me everything i know about that kinda stuff...it is so phun. i can do stuff like double back 360 flips, but only on huge gymnastic tramplines with a harness (for saftey reasons)...i also love hanging upside down...so much that i bought my self osme anti-grav boots to use.

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*sorry about the spelling mistakes...i was 'forcefully' being booted off the computer

QUOTE"your the best at everything and anything..."

Thats bs, I got on a trampoline a few months ago and was horrified to pee my pants as a result of the afflicted gravity! I'm just old and I've seen more things more times than people who are younger, not all things, surely not everything.....

My favorite was back layouts because i'd be waiting for the ground to come for the longest time, rashed my wrists though, anyway
the chat thing I understand, I'm not mad.
be careful and don't let your tongue get stuck in your cheek, you wouldnt want to accidentaly bite your tongue.

*ouch*

I skateboard, but when i tried to snowboard i almost broke my ankle, decided it wasnt for me, skateboarding is great though

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Sinner...
Jesus watches you masterbate

speaking of that...i just leaned to ollie lke last weekend...i'm just strting skateboarding and i really like it alot

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I wasn't saying that to you smurf,
and yes, Winki kicks ass.

Diluted, at long last cd en' route.

If you weren't being faceitious, thank you Smurf~;)

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>>(xYx)<<

You're awesome winki.

In my big last post in another topic I just talked about cheques in the mail but never comes yet all along while even typing that I knew it was, not the cheque, the entire masking of it.. you know... Winki you do weird shit.

I just did a search for all your posts, and read just three missed ones so far.. including the one to ghetto, which I didn't read till after I wrote, which might be typical of anybody =) [this is called minimizing] and why...

nevermind, I'll go write you a big email!

You know if it really gets bad there are files here on different ways to er...end the suffering.

My mom says I can't hang out with you anymore.

Well, remember when I said if you needed a ride....away....you couldn't hang out fo a long time! now and since my consciousness is not allowed in chat I don't see any harm
in being. nest time you're on some nice cushy grass try walking on your hands a few steps.
Don't be mean. Unless you have to. birds of prey know they're cool. Email??? well I'd have to have it coming. Mainly enjoy what you can and try and let the rest of it roll off your back like a duck, or maybe one of those
Caracara's.*Whaaaaa! Whaddidooo? Whaddidooo?*

quote:

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self osme anti-grav boots

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what are thoose???

r that some sort of boots that ehm...make u jump..no..er..bounce while u walk..and go higher while u jump???
i just figured by the name.-.nothing more...if im wrong tell me.

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i saw that!

i think that watching a tv program were their cutting some fucker open is pretty amusing while ur enjoiying ur dinner.

the anti-grav boots are just like big boots, with no soles on the bottom. thy have a big alloy hook in the front that allot you to hang from a horizontal pole, upside-down

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FUCK why don't we have those here?!?!?!

fucking lamer country...
the only thing exciting here is that they have bomb cars with over 22kilos of TNT or so. then they blow that car up in a busy street: BOOM dead politic dude..that's what there here for E.T.A. to kill politic dudes with bomb cars and just shoot them in the head in front of their 17 year old son, that suffers a trauma and of nightmares after.
fucking lamer country.
is fucking craps!
and all the kids here do drugs cus thy think that makes them cool, and popular, shit that makes them die earlier nothing more.
then they get smashed aspirin sold at them, and they believe it is cocaine, stupid asses.
and if U look in any way different here they spread all sorts of rumors about you, fucking hate this place.
its all about the material crap, if U got yourself a nice /motor) bike they come as ants and wanna be your friend, of course U have to share that joint U just lighted..if not they wont be ur friend: WELL FUCK U DON'T BE MY FRIEND THEN LOOSER.
they all steal, no matter r who's it is.
they steal ur hash! goddamnit! Imma kick ur ass if U steal my hash boy!
damn
I hate this country.
they all dress the same here.(I don't, that's why I'm called Satans bitch and stuff here)
and every Saturday theres big party at the "manssion"
so called hardcore...
I think its happy hardcore and they don't know how to dance to it, lame ass fuckers.

and the older people suck too.
U wait for the bus, and the bus arrives U stand up and go to the door, and this nearly dead thing says: get back U stupid kid I was in front.
well sorry dead thing, I was here first...sorry for U being as lame as U are.
or they start complaining because U talk German with ur friend.

U can get drugs easy here..it sucks...I don't do much drugs, only weed and I'm going to try shrooms in Holland, and woodrose(hawaiian baby woodrose.) seeds in Germany.
but that sit...I don't need drugs to make me happy and joyful, jump around, I do that on my own supply.

shit they always come to me asking if I can lend them money(which I don't have)...if I say no I get this : oh ok, U greedy bitch, go ask me sometimes.
GO GET A JOB BITCH!work for your money, lame junky.

its all about the money, but wen everything is gone and all the people are dead and only the money is left, U will see that money is worthless!

sick of it all.

Now don't ya feel better?

yes

holy s h i t, 41+ posts on this topic...it was just a little bit of my mindless speech that i had to say?

thank you, thank you all...you people are the real stars in my life...hehehe

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