*dusts off the coconut bar and starts mixing drinks*

I promise to be friendly.

Jaded, I will have a whiskey sour.

*Watches the unrelated finale to Temptation Island*

*gets really drunk, rapes mandy*
*later does a sprint, while billy's trying to get a good aim*

*pours the whiskey sour and makes himself a white russian*

ahhh...

*thinks*
"those were the times...
*limps to the bar*

Ill just take a double scotch.

*holds a friendly conversation with everyone else in the room*

I would screw Shanon if I could. She is just so, so...I can't describe it. But if she would take me I would be there in a heart beat.

I don't know if this has anything to it, but on the website, magazines, they make Shannon look old. Albeit she IS the oldest, if you say some of the shots of her that I SAW... dam chika!

*rapes shannon*
yeah, shannon's probably the best. I never fucked a lawyer, anyway.

...on the other hand, I never fucked a sissy boy...
*rapes kaya*

Kaya can justify anything he does.

Almost like Greenspam...? He even remembers Sambo. Wow.

oh great, here we go again... time to check out a different forum

Relax, dude, relax.

Fine, no one answer that, Dewtard you were saying?

Nothing, im hungry. You sell motzerella sticks here Jaded? I'll take an order of that.

anybody auctually watching survivor 2?

They turned the island used for the original survivor into a hotel resort thing.

"can I have some mixed nuts and a beer?"

*couldn't help but smile when walking in*

reality tv shows really.. aren't that much reality - but they're interesting.

They need to bring back funny home videos.

threw all the chaos, it's made all the quiet 'readers' start posting.
Alot more people now.

Time to turn on the strobe light...

Who mentioned the making of a reality t.v. show that had people locked in a jail left to get out?

that sounds good.

maybe we should order a pizza or something?

*hooks up a sound system around the room and starts playing music"

THE BEER IS ON ME!

now this is a party!

Being the "SATAN(IC) PIG" that I am.
And hungover.
I'll have a Bloody Mary.

*lights a smoke and zones out watching the aquarium*

*Does a line of speed and starts a conversation with K9girrl*

Yo, baby, What's up?

*K9girrl has a nice set of melons*

Hey fellas, remember, if it wasnt for me you wouldnt even have an island......so I'll have a bottle of Bacardi Jaded, thank you.

*reluctantly hands over the bottle*

yeah, I was looking for that thread, but it seems to have been lost in the sea of time..


*sniff*

Who's for a game of hacky sack?

*drinks a slab of beer and mistakingly hits on Jadedfool*

*lifts head up off bar, looks around, then looks at the clock*

Holy shizit, Why did someone wake me up over the last 2 1/2 hrs.

"Uhhh, Bongman, Suzie is over here..."

*Takes Bongman over to my cool two person boat*

*Bongman sees Suzie's life-less, passed out body laying in the boat on a bed comforter*

"She told me after she had a few white Russians with Jaded that she wanted to learn Spanish, so we were going over to Jennifer Lopez's house after the party."

*videotapes this all to sell to Fox for their new special; "When Totsians Attack!"*

**drunkenly runs into fixit, notices tape and puts it on the big bar t.v.**

**points finger at the screen and laughs "those guys are so stupid"**

*brings out the green*
YAY

[meanwhile, on the floor of the bar]
"Hey guys? I'm bleeding. I think my wrists got cut when my bottle broke. Uh, guys?"
[silence]
"stupid matius and his stupid vomit"

**stands up to yell something**

**standing**

**standing akwardly**

**sits down trying to remember why he got up**

*gets off the bar phone and walks to the stage* Announcement everyone! MDFMK will be here in 10 minutes, enjoy the show! Tomorrow the Dropkick Murphy's are coming. *glug, glug, glug, glug*

*ancisace stops moaning and descretely makes his way back to the bar when he realises that what he thought was blood is actually ketchup*
"Can I have a pint of bitter, please?"

**Drinks his vodka**

**gets up from the bar walks to the stage, stands at the stage. drinks more vodka, lights a joint, takes a hit.**

"the first one on the stage can have the rest of this joint"

**a rush to get onto the stage**

**falls off the stage**

**Breaks his back**

"shit"

"I think I dropped the joint"

"everyone, calm down, now"
*showers the crowd with rubber bullets*
*eats a banana*

"where'd my joint go?"

**tries to move, spine won't respond**

"I have to poop."

*ducks behind the salad bar*

*plays guest guitar for mdfmk for three minutes*

*Sascha realises I can't play guitar*

*goes back to the bar and sulks*

*shoots some heroin and looks around for a shotgun*

Uh..., Jaded that wasn't Heroin it was
apple juice. And I took the firing mechanism out of the shotgun. So go make yerself a drink, put in some Tom Waits and read a book.

*plays solitaire*

*grabs a ginsu*

I wonder who I can play the "stab between the fingers game" with..

RC has volunteered his hand. Play while he's asleep.

*sets up RC's hand*

Thanks man.

*starts stabbing*

*tabletablehandhandtablehandhandhand*

*wipes some blood off the knife*

Dammit.. I need my new glasses soon.

*handhandhandhandhandhand*

Okay, that was just fun.

*sticks the knife in the wall, labels it "HAZARDOUS MATERIAL", and goes to get another glass of chocolate milk*

**wakes up, but can't get up**

**crawls over to the bar sits down**

"I think I'll just have a shot of tequila"

After I concour your souls I'd like to enjoy the treasure of the Captain.

There was one time when I ran around my niehborhood with a flamming hard hat. I forget why. No one bothered to even call the cops.

It's boring where I live.

** urinates in raver's shot**

**makes balloon animals**

**is attacked by pink giraffe*

"wow! a bar"

*appears like rixle plixs in justice league of America*
*Sneers at some unseen nausiating smell, is about to blink out but catches a wiff of some other crickets' smoking leggs unlit by the firefly*
*fains death to avoid the noid*
*fans 'is souroundings with a wovel grass implement that says "An Arabian Knight"*
*reminds 'imself of how many Islanders there are at the time and blinks out*

**walks out of the bar, keeps walking, stops at a boat, pushes it out into the water and jumps in**

**few minutes later notices some noises comming from under the deck.**

**looks in the bottum of the boat, see's Z3m and bongman having gay sex**

**jumps out of the boat, swims back to the bar, has another shot of tequila**

*enters as the object of everyones hate*


Hey! where are the white women at?!

I taught Jaded how to make White Russians. And I'm drinking one right now. Ahhh!

Cheers,
Lost

*looks around for philosopher's stone*

*remebers that he spent 14 years in vanuartu,fiji and new caladonia,*

*walks up to jaded and asks him if there are any cannibals on the island*

*then tells him that he wont like the taste of kava kava*

*is attacked by a hoarde of earthy golf caddies wielding dead woodland creatures*

*Sends in a crew of soccer moms*

*leaves the island, joins the army, steals m-60, blows Fox 20th century to shit.*

*dies in a shoot out with cops*

***shoots the cops that killed schbch, realizes it won't bring him back***

screams "what have I done? (smirks, laughs, kicks a body and walks off)"

**walks down the road, paranoid android by radiohead plays and the camera slowly goes further and further away as the credits start to scroll up onto the screen**



------------------
cogito, ergo sum

Have the soccer moms been forgotten?

I thought they died in the crossfire while running away from the Fox blast.

*extracts essense from a stone*
*drinks it*
*lives forever*

quote:

---

Originally posted by Z3m:
*extracts essense from a stone*
*drinks it*
*lives forever*

---

The first three thousand years are the worst.....


------------------
Sic biscuitus disintegrat!
(That's the way the cookie crumbles!)

ya with all that trying to understand the human race and trying to figure out why all your friends keep dieing.



------------------
cogito, ergo sum

*comes back in a form of Buddha. High on opium*

*has another drink*

*holds the last live golf caddie above his head in triumph*

who's bringing the chips?

*Realizing his form is that of Shiva, daces the Tandava and destroys the universe*

Take that, Buttface. Nirvana my ass.

**inherits the earth**

**imposes new stupid laws that make no sense**

------------------
cogito, ergo sum

*walks in and looks around*
*gets hit in the head with a beer bottle*
Who did that!
*looks around some more*
Fuck it, got any everclear in this joint?
*grabs a bottle filled with a clear liquid*
Well, kerosene is better than nothing.

------------------
I would rather be a smartass than a dumbass

*finds a book, a bottle of booze and a palm tree*

*trips over Templeton*

*sits on a mushroom, smoking hash. dreams of cs lewis. rapes alice. wonderland dies*

**reanacts alice in wonderland but can only remeber the catapillar part, gets really stoned**

**finds a mushroom eats some and grows**

**eats another peice and shrinks**

"whoa, so the catapillar lied"

------------------
cogito, ergo sum

*Wakes up with a mouth full of sand and ironically enough, a gun*

*Tries to shoot Z3m, bounches off, and Lokil's chest is stabbed*

*Lays dying wanting a personal "thank you" from Winki for the celebratory baklava*

*grunts*

*finds topic*

**Steals all the money in the tip jar**

"Ha ha, Jaded! Take that!"

this has to be a record 125 posts and nopt aq single comprehensive thought....*goes to bar, drinks a bottle of whiskey*

------------------
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."-Albert Einstein

*Swims to Australia and beats up the band Incubus*

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lokil:
*Swims to Australia and beats up the band Incubus*

---

Finishes uni, goes exploring before holidays end.
* Finds lokil *
Puts lokil in cage, to post to nihil who's with group of aboriginals somwhere east of Ularu
* Goes for swim in the inland sea *
It really did have water in it this year !
* Finds island *
Feels guilty and goes to release Lokil
Hires boat and takes Lokil back to Island.
Sends Nihil a postcard in stead of Lokil.
Order Gin and Tonic from bar, and waits to be served.

*Sits in the corner with his drink and CD Player*

*wonders if jaded relizes he can delete this.*

*wonders if jaded is tempted*

*Sticks massive cock in Revelation's mouth, and cums until stomach bursts*

*Revelation dies from internal bleeding*

**Stumbles into the bar with bloodshot eyes**

Hey, umm, does any one have some of that stuff. It, like, makes it less obvious that you're eyes are hashed when you're baked. It's either called Visine or Vasaline, I don't remember which...

**Falls to the floor, gets in the fetal positon, and starts sucking his thumb**

You ruined my 6's! and the FETAL POSITION LOOKS LIKE 6
OMG.