Hello, Dear Reader. Welcome to the Fat Girl Handbook, hosted by me, Generic Box Of Cookies.

In today's article, I would like to introduce basic concepts in not only surviving your sexual encounter, but making it a mutually wonderful experience.



But why?

What are some advantages heavy girls have over fit girls you ask? Well, the advantages are just too wide to encompass in one session, so we will save that for another article.




How do I woo her?

The process of seduction of a fat girl isn't much different than your average female. It is important to remember she may be self conscious of her weight. What is considered playful quip for another girl may send an overweight girl to tears. Be tactful, sensitive, and sweet.

You know, while Im on this subject, let me tell you a story about this girl. She was your average African/Puerto Rican-American girl. Her name was Shanice. We were good friends in highschool, but then she moved away. Eventually, she moved back many years(and pounds, not talking about sterling either ;) later. We had always been flirty with eachother, and this hadn't changed. I offered to take her out to lunch one day. She suggested KFC. Yes, cliche I know. A black overweight girl wanting to go to KFC. Hurr hurr. Enough with your immature humour. But I digress. We shared a big bucket of popcorn chicken. There were a few tender moments where we both had our hand in the bucket reaching for chicken at the same time, and long periods of eye contact were made. This is half the reason I ordered us popcorn chicken rather than separate meals. The other half is that it's damn good. ;)

Now, going back to the self conscious issue. Because of this, it isn't a bad idea to get alcohol involved. This will help get rid of those nasty inhibitions which can ruin an experience. So, with Shanice, I innocently suggested maybe we do some casual social drinking at her house, and catch up on old times. Well, you can probably fill in the rest of the story from here. ;)




What about sex?

Ah, but of course. Ever heard the phrase, "More to love"? Im sure you have. With girls of size, tertiary erogenous zones like the stomach and butt are greatly expanded. What effect does this have on their sexual experience? A good one. In fact, it is quite difficult not to stimulate one of these zones. I wont go into the detail and nuances of "thumping sensual waves". You see, the great amount of fat, and the properties of it are as such where you can transfer kinetic motion all over the body in the form of waves. I believe there really should be a chapter in the Kama Sutra about this.

Sexual positions are another crucial matter to address here. Depending on her size, most sexual positions aren't feasible. Inaccessibility is by far the most apparent problem you will face. You will likely find "girl on top" positions to be unenjoyable. Her weight on your body prevents circulation of sensual chi flow(and oxygen). It should also be noted that most overweight girls will become quickly fatigued if they are doing most of the work. This will make for a bad experience for her, and a sweaty experience for you. Missionary is by far the most practical and enjoyable of the positions.

Don't be afraid to indulge in other sensory pleasures. Especially those involving food. Garnish your genitals with something delicious. Throw in some chocolate next time you're french kissing. Use your creativity. Be open minded, and you will have a sexual experience of epic proportions(both literally and figuratively ;)).




That is it for the article. Now we can move to some Q&A.

I hope this is a joke.

Hahaha! +1 internets

You Sir, win today's coverted "Made Jackketch Snort Coffee Over His Laptop" award!

LOL!

No...

It's never what you expect and always shameful, at least it was for me.

hahaha.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y146/zuperxtreme/Other/seal-1.gif

HAHAHA! this made me choke on my sandwich....that i ate 15 minutes ago...


Yes, I literally laughed so hard I threw up a little...


you win the internet!

Brilliant!

There were a few tender moments where we both had our hand in the bucket reaching for chicken at the same time, and long periods of eye contact were made. This is half the reason I ordered us popcorn chicken rather than separate meals. The other half is that it's damn good. ;)


Hahahaha, I laughed my ass off.

I wont go into the detail and nuances of "thumping sensual waves". You see, the great amount of fat, and the properties of it are as such where you can transfer kinetic motion all over the body in the form of waves.

Fucking great!

:D

...not only surviving your sexual encounter


...Well, the advantages are just too wide to encompass in one session, so we will save that for another article.



...and the properties of it are as such where you can transfer kinetic motion all over the body in the form of waves. haha funniest thing by far


...Be open minded, and you will have a sexual experience of epic proportions(both literally and figuratively ;)).





LOL just how you come up with this? hahhahhaha

You will likely find "girl on top" positions to be unenjoyable. Her weight on your body prevents circulation of sensual chi flow(and oxygen).

The oxygen bit had me gagging. Nice work :)

Do you think a follow up may be in the works? Foreplay's got some opportunity..

Some quality shit there, man. Well done.

This made my day.

Ah this makes me want to hang around S&A more often, hah!