Having less than half a brain, I ordered a couple piperazines.
(I pause for your laughter)
I found use for one of them but the other one is quite something. Something worth wiping my ass with, if only it came in the form of a soft sheet instead of a powder that flies out of the bag due to the slight air current caused by opening the bag.
(better known as tfmpp)
Now, this being a HYPOTHETICAL forum, I can only post a question that will result in even more hilarity than what I've done.

What do I do with my gram of tfmpp?

and I'm looking for creative answers; NONE like "throw it away" or "flush it" or "blow it out of your window" or even "plug it" and definately not "huff raid" or "murder/suicide".
...and I understand that "just take it" will probably get posted so I'm going to consider that the theoretical default backup plan.

I don't know much about piperazines, but from my understanding, if you mix it with some BZP it could be useful recreationally. I don't think it has much of use on it's own though.

That's all I happen to know too, but unfortunately I bought way too much tfmpp for my bzp and I don't want to go through the stress of ordering more from the internet, as the first and last time I did I nearly had a heart attack and had problems with the post office for two months.
I've tried it on its own and I find that the completely screwed up sense of environmental temperature was SO annoying that I had to drink myself stupid every time just to feel a slightly less eratic temperature sensation. I've felt similar ones on other drugs but tfmpp is just mindblowing because of how harmless and ANNOYING the side effects are.

Would it be hypothetically funny to watch the scenario of a bunch of people starting to trip off of their vodka, which clearly isn't our favourite green psychedelic booze?

Considering it's not a scheduled substance, if I was in your shoes, I'd be tempted to try and sell it. However, I'm sure someone will be able to point out one or more laws that you would be breaking by doing that. I know the DEA wouldn't go after you, but that doesn't mean you're in the clear.

Do some research on the laws, or perhaps someone more experienced in this area will enlighten us. You can't deny that selling would be one of the superior options though, especially since you would be selling something you don't even want.

Also, don't sell it claiming it's some other drug, or try to rip off some kidiots who don't even know what TFMPP is. That would be just plain wrong.