Originally Posted by Hazzard

Now, I gotta whole portfolio of weak points which I feel I need to improve on. I've been ignoring them for a while now, and passing it off as things which can be overcome when I get older. But I just had a wake up call from my older brother, who's been hammering home bits of advice at me, and trying to raise my game and fulfill my so - called "potential" as he calls it. I feel like it goes in one ear then out the other, and it doesn't thoroughly sink into my memory; this leads onto something else which is on my mind.

For the last few years I've been in High School, my perception of thinking has changed dramatically. I used to feel confident, charismatic and always oozed a magnifying aura; at least that's how I felt it seemed. However, this all went downhill two years ago, like a sudden electricity cut. The juices halted, and I became nervous, erratic, extremely self-conscious and wood-like stiff around peers. I've accommodated to a state of infrequent paranoia; I sometimes have my good days, where I feel like my old self and can hold a genuine smile, but other days I feel like giving up and just beating myself up for not talking to particular chicks, or even when I had the guts, screwing up and not saying the right things that would slide me in with them.

Totse, I desperately need to get my life back on track or fix the errors I'm making at the moment. I'm a wreck, and feel like I'm just wasting my life and letting time go by being a self-pitying 15 year old virgin who can't kick start himself into action. I wanna go Gung-ho and get acquainted with a couple of chicks I have my eye on, but my inhibitions are still confining me in an emotional compound that I fail to escape from. shit it really sucks... :(

My bro's being real tough on me saying how I'm just gonna be a standard person with nothing to offer, if I don't make drastic changes and that I'm just gazing at other guys who are stealing my thunder all the time. Help me Totse...