the universe has laws, and knowing these laws allows you to invoke them. for example, one law is that, if you are waiting for something, pulling out a book or otherwise taking your mind off of waiting will cause whatever it is you're waiting for to happen within approximately 2 minutes. what other laws do you know of?

Life is bullshit.

Things happen in threes: design your plans accordingly.

The postman never rings the doorbell unless you're in the middle of taking a big shit: make that parcel arrive faster, just have someone standing by the door.

Bad news travels faster than good: tag on something unpleasant to your message if you want it to spread more quickly.

So...If i wish for the terminator nuclear apocalypse to happen, all I have to do is think about it. Then go and read a book for a couple of minutes before I know it, my house will be besieged by the apocalyptic robots crushing and killing everything within their path.

Nice

We say the universe has laws because we live by a system of laws. The universe has no proven laws defined by man hence why we cannot predict or assume shit because everything is just a guess.

We say the universe has laws because we live by a system of laws. The universe has no proven laws defined by man hence why we cannot predict or assume shit because everything is just a guess.
No shit.

We say the universe has laws because we live by a system of laws. The universe has no proven laws defined by man hence why we cannot predict or assume shit because everything is just a guess.

Too far man...

I know one.

There is no escape from the friendzone.

Chloroform.

I did it. Try harder.

Also, mine:

When you think you know something, you find out that you know nothing.

Also, mine:

When you think you know something, you find out that you know nothing.
Seconded like a motherfucker.

murphy's law pretty much sums this thread up.

Too far man...



Damn, my bad I guess I failed myself :(

If you're being chased by a Police Helicopter, simply get beneath some cover. Police helicopters don't have Infra-red, and will leave the scene, assuming that you just disappeared into thin air.

If you see a cool car driving past and it leaves your peripheral vision, forget about turning around. It won't be there. All you can do is try to find a car that usually comes in the same spawn batch, then jack it and cruise around town with your eyes peeled. The car you saw should become plentiful.

The FBI can't get you if you're in a Parking Garage.

The FBI can't get you if you're in a Parking Garage.

If you see a cool car driving past and it leaves your peripheral vision, forget about turning around. It won't be there.

All you can do is try to find a car that usually comes in the same spawn batch, then jack it and cruise around town with your eyes peeled. The car you saw should become plentiful.
It's still a problem to this day, too. Shame.

Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

they aren't laws. just theories and observations.

You'll always find stuff you lost when you are NOT looking for it. Same applies to persons and vice versa.

If clogging the toilet crosses through your mind while taking a dump, it will clog.

You'll always feel the need to either pee or crap during the most inconvenient moment.

You'll always poke the wrong whole at least once in your life.

they aren't laws. just theories and observations.

ok, fine. General Observations of the Mechanics of the Universe, On a Convenient Level For the Dumbest of Us. better?

The postman never rings the doorbell unless you're in the middle of taking a big shit: make that parcel arrive faster, just have someone standing by the door.

To deal with this you could set up one of them thar intercom things and have one of the speaker thigs in the bathroom. That way when the postman comes you could just be like "hey dude, I'm taking a shit right now, wait a minute/just leave the package there". Or you could just stop pooping, wipe, deal with the mail guy, then go back and finish up. I eat my fiber so I never spend a long time pooping, most of my time is spent wiping and washing my hands.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/obey-gravity.jpg