As an addict, I am prone to be very manipulative and take full advantage of the fact that some people actually care. I have been clean / sober for about a year now, but I still end up using those who care for me (friends, family, wife, etc) for my own selfish wants (ie money, rides, favors, etc). Does anyone else experience this or does anyone have any advice as to how to stop? I mean I am fully aware and conscious of the fact that I am doing this, but I do not seem to realize until later that what I am doing is wrong/bad/etc.
If anyone has any experience/advice, please offer it! I hate using people and I hate even more the fact that they actually know it but just comply to keep me happy

Tell your friends exactly what you just told us. Tell them that you realize you're doing it and you want to stop. You'll probably earn some friendship points by doing so. Tell them that they should refuse or stop you from doing these things!

Well I've told my wife and family about my issues, yet they still let me walk all over them. It's not that I want to, it's that they don't want to not let me.

Well I've told my wife and family about my issues, yet they still let me walk all over them. It's not that I want to, it's that they don't want to not let me.

just have sex with them. simple as that.
* thumbs up * ;)

just have sex with them. simple as that.
* thumbs up * ;)

-_-

i was hoping for genuine suggestion/peoples' experiences with similar situations. ;(

How about you just stop being a fucking leech?

You know when you're doing it. This isn't an accidental thing. You just block it out because you know it's the wrong thing, then later you feel bad about it.

lol that reply just reaffirmed your young age. In all seriousness, can you honestly say that you've NEVER done anything that, at the time, you knew it was fucked up but kept on with it anyways because people let you?
Let's put it this way... Let's say your dad or whichever parent wanted to ground you. Well, if you knew you could have your way, go out, do whatever you want, and even have them give you money to help your fun, would you really turn it down at the time? I mean later you may regret it, but at the time would you rather be grounded or be out partying, having fun, etc etc?
(Just an example, not really relative to my situation)

lol that reply just reaffirmed your young age. In all seriousness, can you honestly say that you've NEVER done anything that, at the time, you knew it was fucked up but kept on with it anyways because people let you?
Let's put it this way... Let's say your dad or whichever parent wanted to ground you. Well, if you knew you could have your way, go out, do whatever you want, and even have them give you money to help your fun, would you really turn it down at the time? I mean later you may regret it, but at the time would you rather be grounded or be out partying, having fun, etc etc?
(Just an example, not really relative to my situation)

You were the one who claimed you "didn't know" when you were doing it until you'd already done it. So don't change the information around halfway through a thread just for the sake of refuting my argument. If you don't want help, don't ask.

"Guys how do I stop being a leech?"

"Stop being a leech."

"LOL! YOU CAN'T HONESTLY TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A LEECH!"


Also, stfu Acolyte

You were the one who claimed you "didn't know" when you were doing it until you'd already done it. So don't change the information around halfway through a thread just for the sake of refuting my argument. If you don't want help, don't ask.

"Guys how do I stop being a leech?"

"Stop being a leech."

"LOL! YOU CAN'T HONESTLY TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A LEECH!"


Also, stfu Acolyte

dude. you joined in '08 and you spam posts about your faggy highschool crap. i can spam posts too and become a regular if i'd like to but i try to only post where it would benefit someone or if i'm asking a question.

spam moar plz?

dude. you joined in '08 and you spam posts about your faggy highschool crap. i can spam posts too and become a regular if i'd like to but i try to only post where it would benefit someone or if i'm asking a question.

spam moar plz?

Again, someone doesn't argue against what I've said, only argues that I'm a kid and therefore don't know shit.

*Slow clap*

Again, someone doesn't argue against what I've said, only argues that I'm a kid and therefore don't know shit.

*Slow clap*

I am arguing what you said- i'm arguing your 'stfu acolyte' statement.

and it's not being a leech fyi. it's manipulating people to do what you want them to do. it's not all about the things (aka money, rides, etc) but it's about favors too. yeah, i posted the material things or rides, but you can manipulate people into doing prettty much anything.

-_-

i was hoping for genuine suggestion/peoples' experiences with similar situations. ;(

yep.it totally rocks and is fun while it lasts

* thumbs up * ;)

I am arguing what you said- i'm arguing your 'stfu acolyte' statement.

and it's not being a leech fyi. it's manipulating people to do what you want them to do. it's not all about the things (aka money, rides, etc) but it's about favors too. yeah, i posted the material things or rides, but you can manipulate people into doing prettty much anything.

yeah.

pretty big difference between leeching and taking advantage.

leeching is when the op is taking their items and living off of them and stealing his friends food. too lazy to see the first post again but i'm pretty sure op is not leeching.

edit=yep

They're not stopping you? Maybe they want to be used.

That's what it seems like but I mean, if people are taking ME for a ride I am definitely not going along with it- why would people go along with it for me? I don't really understand- i can't imagine anyone really enjoys the idea / feeling of being used knowingly.

That's what it seems like but I mean, if people are taking ME for a ride I am definitely not going along with it- why would people go along with it for me? I don't really understand- i can't imagine anyone really enjoys the idea / feeling of being used knowingly.

i have a wild feeling but what your situation is pretty common in the mob world.

you keep doing what your doing, even if its not intentional, all the little things you do might add up to a HUGE favor to them. WHENEVER they want a favor, they will think your obligated to do it even if you can afford or not.

id say be careful. the mob world * friends and family edition * is pretty dangerous as the real world mob. they will kill you if you disagree to do their shit but assure them that they were willing to do you favors.

this might not be true, but i have to say, it IS kinda odd how they're ok with you, so you say, using them.

keep all options open on to what they might be up to. im sure its nothing. i know i said before but it is pretty odd.

i have a wild feeling but what your situation is pretty common in the mob world.

you keep doing what your doing, even if its not intentional, all the little things you do might add up to a HUGE favor to them. WHENEVER they want a favor, they will think your obligated to do it even if you can afford or not.

id say be careful. the mob world * friends and family edition * is pretty dangerous as the real world mob. they will kill you if you disagree to do their shit but assure them that they were willing to do you favors.

this might not be true, but i have to say, it IS kinda odd how they're ok with you, so you say, using them.

keep all options open on to what they might be up to. im sure its nothing. i know i said before but it is pretty odd.

the mob? =|

definitely not lolol. i don't know if they ARE okay but they seem to be as they never resist more than a petty 'but i don't wanna.... but ok'

To be honest , I've been in your position as a 'addict' and yeah some habits die hard. One way you can look @ it is that you have developed all the social communication skills to position people and their belongings into ways to benefit you , as per being a addict.

also , check this checklist out ....


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy_Checklist-Revised_(PCL-R)

Many people diagnosed with Addiction and Alcoholism under the DSM IV criteria are candidates for other diagnosis. The problem is that you don't sound like a dry drunk/addict , and that should scare you. You , IMHHHO , could also just be a fucking jerk. Either are fucked and don't appear to be great for your longterm survival.

Unknown

I came to this theory. The majority are masochists. You can thank Christianity for that one, lol. They have this fucked up brain that makes them feel good for helping others. The Church was very keen on instilling these values, as they want money. People who are happy to give it to them, are a cash cow. As a result, the majority have actually adopted this mentality, except a few of us. All you have to be is grateful for their generosity, and you can reap the rewards, and make people happy by allowing people to do things for you. Charities are big business. The charity may not profit, but the executives running them do. Just think of all the joy they bring to people by taking their money in exchange for good feelings.

See, you're not using people, you're simply giving people an outlet to satisfy their masochistic desires instilled by a Christian based culture. Sacrifice makes them happy, so let them be happy. Play into the fantasy by being grateful for the charities they give, cause the higher you elevate them, the more they will give you.

It might raise a moral question though. Is it wrong to use people, if it makes them happy to be used? Or. Is it wrong to manipulate people?

My conclusions to those questions, are this. Right and Wrong, are just bullshit words that people who see everything in black and white use, when everything is grey.

If something bothers you, stop doing it. If you can't, that means it's a compulsion. Go see a shrink.

There.