Has this stopped any of you from breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Knowing that they have the potential to be perfect if they'd shape up their act/treat their partner better/be more involved/what ever, and staying with them because you think they might come around any moment and if you break up with them, the next person will get the treatment you deserved?

Just something I read about earlier. I can imagine doing this, just as I can imagine some one doing this with me.

We in the love business call that proctastinating...

Cat, that can work both ways, you might leave for someone better, you might get treated like shit the rest of your life, ya know? anything is possible here, but it is weird how that works out...or maybe just the way we perceive it...

Fuck me.

This is exactly how I felt for about a month at one point. It was fucking weird. Never could explain it like that, though.

Does it really matter? If they treat you like shit, why would you want to be with them?

^this.
You're pretty much holding on for something that wont happen.

"Must be love, love loooovvvveee nothing more nothing less love is the best"

Hmmmm what stupid ad did I hear that on 5 years ago to make it pop into m head now...Catchy song ey

But anyway I was like that for a little while I just thought if I stuck with it and gave her a chance to work herself out it would all turn out fine and we would live happily ever after.....She cheated on me :(

So no happily everafter.

So in closing yes I have felt like this but it wasn't becuase I was scared she would be better to the next person, It was becuase I knew how good we could be together blah blah blah.

^this.
You're pretty much holding on for something that wont happen.

Not really. I was feeling this to my girlfriend because she wasn't as affectionate towards me as I was to her. Turns out she was just shy and now she's even more affectionate than I am.

So I guess it's appropriate to wait it out and work on it for a bit before you decide to break up with someone.

"Must be love, love loooovvvveee nothing more nothing less love is the best"

Hmmmm what stupid ad did I hear that on 5 years ago to make it pop into m head now...

I believe it was an ad for Huggies nappies.

Not really. I was feeling this to my girlfriend because she wasn't as affectionate towards me as I was to her. Turns out she was just shy and now she's even more affectionate than I am.

So I guess it's appropriate to wait it out and work on it for a bit before you decide to break up with someone.



I believe it was an ad for Huggies nappies.

But if they are treating you like shit what's the point in waiting for them to treat you right. I see your point though which may just be because she's young but in the case of someone older, i suggest you don't wait.

I believe it was an ad for Huggies nappies.

That it was my friend I remember clearly now with the little naked babies running around and people blowing raspberries on there bottoms...

Must have been around the time my little one lived with me Only reason i would have paid attention :D

I can now sleep knowing where it came from!

Life is all about cruel irony. It is likely your partner will change, but few people ever change from introspection, and simply improve themselves. No, people are a stupid being that likes to put it's hand on a burner to see how hot it is. Most of us have to be burned badly before we change our ways.

Break up with the bitch, and the sense of loss and failure will hurt her badly, causing her to reflect on her mistakes, and make change. Most people aren't smart enough to make change unless they feel hurt, so she won't. Stay with her, and in her mind, her behavior has been nothing less than acceptable, or at least tolerable.

honest question

are you a woman?

I usually just hope that the next person they're with is a better fit. If things didn't work between me and her, then maybe they'll work between her and someone else. Everybody's different and people change all the time.

Potential is a wonderful thing, but sometimes you have to put it aside and live in the here and now.

Has this stopped any of you from breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Knowing that they have the potential to be perfect if they'd shape up their act/treat their partner better/be more involved/what ever, and staying with them because you think they might come around any moment and if you break up with them, the next person will get the treatment you deserved?


I should think that one doesn't tend to think whether he/she should leave their current partner; they feel.

Personally, I would leave someone regardless of whether I had someone "lined up" or without regard as to whether the next person might be "worse off" than my current partner. If something about the relationship prompted me to leave him, it was probably for a very good reason.

Indeed.

Indeed.

Get out of my boat . I'm sick of being in the same one as you

This thread has been incredibly illuminating. For me at least.

I'm going to take a stab at how you feel Dem. You love him, he's awesome, but you just don't work. You feel you can work with some time apart and some changes, but you're afraid that if you take a break (break up) that he'll just not 'feel it' for you any more or find some one else and start treating them the way you wanted to be treated?

If this is how you feel....


...run. Now.

Slot machine syndrome sucks. Best to pull the lever one more day, and any lemons should cause the red abort button to descend into the on position.

It's vanity that causes you to think that you can inspire change in a person. If that person doesn't want to change, simply being with you isn't going to cause some sort of epiphany. My advice is to hone your bullshit detecting skills, and once you're able to turn the love blinders off you can see what a person really wants out of life.

Get out of my boat . I'm sick of being in the same one as you

This thread has been incredibly illuminating. For me at least.

I'm going to take a stab at how you feel Dem. You love him, he's awesome, but you just don't work. You feel you can work with some time apart and some changes, but you're afraid that if you take a break (break up) that he'll just not 'feel it' for you any more or find some one else and start treating them the way you wanted to be treated?

If this is how you feel....


...run. Now.

Why don't you want to be in the same boat as me?!!??! :( It's a lovely boat. We can play sexy Twister. :)

And that's not how I feel, so I guess I'm safe. :)

Why don't you want to be in the same boat as me?!!??! :( It's a lovely boat. We can play sexy Twister. :)

And that's not how I feel, so I guess I'm safe. :)

you got twister on your boat??

I want a boat with twister :(

Damn you totse mods, power and boats with twister... you should all, i dunno ... be forced to pay more taxes!!

:( It's a lovely boat. We can play sexy Twister. :)

Will this be in your shitty icy Canadian oceans? Or our warm and awesome (yet shark infested) ozzy oceans? If so, count me in. We can play some sexy twister (code for lovin'?) on our awesome boat.

My face is incredibly fuzzy, I think I should go puke then go to sleep. Nigh nigh....

Was in this boat until today...

Dump their ass, they won't change, and you'll feel better for it.

If your significant other is in fact better to their next partner than they were with you, it is probably because the next person isn't you. It sucks but you should just get over this relationship, it obviously isn't working.

Not really. I was feeling this to my girlfriend because she wasn't as affectionate towards me as I was to her. Turns out she was just shy and now she's even more affectionate than I am.

So I guess it's appropriate to wait it out and work on it for a bit before you decide to break up with someone.



I believe it was an ad for Huggies nappies.

Stop making up shit that happens in your life. The rest of TOTSE is trying to grow up, trying to mature and you acting like a little shit doesn't help at all. How the fuck did you find this place?

Will this be in your shitty icy Canadian oceans? Or our warm and awesome (yet shark infested) ozzy oceans? If so, count me in. We can play some sexy twister (code for lovin'?) on our awesome boat.

My face is incredibly fuzzy, I think I should go puke then go to sleep. Nigh nigh....

Soo by boat I actually mean inflatable raft, and by sexy twister I mean probably some sort of fried chicken in a bucket and beer. Or vodka in a kiddie pool. I wish I had a boat. :(

Soo by boat I actually mean inflatable raft, and by sexy twister I mean probably some sort of fried chicken in a bucket and beer. Or vodka in a kiddie pool. I wish I had a boat. :(

Why so sad? You basically described a perfect Aussie Saturday afternoon.

You know what the scariest thing is? I was actually planning on filling up a kiddy pool, getting a heap of beers and spending an afternoon floating around with in the not too distant future.

No bucket of chicken though. I'm Australian, not American. :)

So now that the festivities are over, what will we drink to? A new year?

it's inevitable, Of course they are going to be better to the next Partner they have, Because they will take experiences and things from the relationship with said person, and use them to Better them self and improve in new relationship, same goes for both genders/sides.

Why so sad? You basically described a perfect Aussie Saturday afternoon.

You know what the scariest thing is? I was actually planning on filling up a kiddy pool, getting a heap of beers and spending an afternoon floating around with in the not too distant future.

No bucket of chicken though. I'm Australian, not American. :)

So now that the festivities are over, what will we drink to? A new year?

Soon SOON I will be floating around in a pool in Mexico. Or in the ocean. Happy happy happy. :) Kiddie pools and beer are fantastic though. :)

I needs your email, dude. :p

And there's nothing wrong with buckets of chicken. In moderation.

Anyone who agrees with this childish post needs to grow up and think about the other person for once.

OP - You're more than likely the cause of the shitty relationship. Quit being selfish and learn how to live your own life.

Soon SOON I will be floating around in a pool in Mexico. Or in the ocean. Happy happy happy. :) Kiddie pools and beer are fantastic though. :)

I needs your email, dude. :p

And there's nothing wrong with buckets of chicken. In moderation.

Email is in my profile :) Add me.

Affect, you're right, kind of. It's not totally immature, it's just that relationships are generally a distraction.

Oh and Dem, you seriously corrupted me, I found my self confused as fuck as to why I was buying a bucket of KFC the other day. I'd been craving it for days and reading this thread clarified it all.