So on new year's eve, I went to this party where my ex happened to be, and we got to talking... First of all, bear in mind that we broke up just over 3 years ago, and have seldom spoken since. We'd occasionally see each other around, but it was usually just slightly bitter exchanges with the occasional insult, or neutral encounters at best. But on this night, she was saying only positive things to me. She progressed from explaining why she broke up with me, to kissing me at midnight (and not just a peck, but full on french kissing, for at least a minute) and on to even, towards the end of the night, telling me how much she loved me and how she really wants to try and make things work again. Granted, there was a correlation between how emotional she was getting and the amount of alcohol in her system, but I know that she knew what she was saying, especially since it started earlier on in the night.

Not only that, but the next day, when I called her to make plans with her (as we had agreed on that night), she told me that she remembers everything she said, and that she meant it all. So then we make plans to get together on Saturday. So I call her Friday afternoon, no answer. I send her a text message later on that evening, still no answer. Then I call her on Saturday, and still, no response.

She's completely avoiding me. I have to know why! I mean, I guess I can sort of figure it out, she regrets what she said and wants to take it back, but, for one thing, you don't just completely ignore someone after saying stuff like that. I can accept the fact that she doesn't actually want to be with me (although, of course, I'm pretty fucking pissed off that she would plant these ideas in my head to begin with), but I'd at least like some closure. To just hear from her.

I've tried asking a mutual friend if she'd heard from her, but I have a feeling that she's just covering for her (fucking bitch).

Anyway, don't I at least have the right to hear from her? Am I overreacting? If you had heard some of the stuff she said that night, you wouldn't think for a second that I was overreacting.

just carry on living your life dude, unfortunately you have no 'right' to know why she's being silly... and she is being very silly.

she is history it would end in tears if you tried again by the sound of it anyway, your tears. go out look around you there's lots of really nice women about.

she regrets what she did.

lol fuck that bitch, you broke up with her 3 years ago.

quit being such a faggot little girl.

I'm actually going to have to agree with what everyone else has said already:

-Carry on your life.
-You don't have the right to know; maybe she regrets it, maybe she was too drunk, maybe she fell in a hole and can't get up.
-3 years? Move on.
-Cry moar.

Alcohol makes people do silly things. Although she chose the most immature way to send the message it was still sent. Accept it and move on. There's plenty of other fish to taste in the sea.

Hmm it's like you didn't even consider the possibility that she's out of town. Though I don't blame her for ignoring you, you sound like a whiny bitch.


Edit- Didn't read your post closely enough. You're still a whiny bitch.

If she's avoiding then you've got closure. It might not be verbal but it's obvious from her actions that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

I want a relationship with you.

I want a relationship with you.

Get in line man.

Was it quite a serious relationship?

I think it is obvious that she doesnt want anything to happen and she isn't even capable of being mature and telling you that she has made a mistake.

I know how horrible it is when women dangle such things infront of you but best wipe it tfrom memory. Just remember it as a fun night and nothig more.

Update: She finally sent me a long text message saying she was really sorry and that she still wants to be friends.

At least I got my closure. I actually feel a LOT better after that.

And to the posters telling me I'm a whiny bitch and whatnot, wtf? Yeah, I'm sure you're all such stoic manly men when it comes to shit like this. You're probably completely unphased by anything any woman ever says to you...

I mean, it's not like I was fucking crying at her doorstep, I called her twice and sent a 1 word text message ("hey...").

Was it quite a serious relationship?

Ironically, the other night, she kept going on about how much it meant to her. It always meant a lot to me due to it being my longest relationship (although it might not be considered to be long to some other people - clocking in at roughly 8 months [although she considers it a year...?]). But she kept saying things about how she's never had anyone else like me, and how she loves me so much, and blah, blah, blah... so if anything, she was giving me the impression that it meant more to her than it actually might have meant to me. But as I now know, it was all bullshit to begin with (what she was saying, at least).

OP: I am glad that you finally heard from her/had your closure.

I know you probably don't need this post but anyway: I too agree with you that what she did was rather irresponsible, as in, she was getting your hopes up/playing with your emotions (although she probably didn't do it on purpose). That being said I regret to inform you that no, you do not have a right to any sort of closure from her. Nobody's obligated to explain themselves to anybody else, I am afraid.

Nobody's obligated to explain themselves to anybody else, I am afraid.

Well, no, technically she wasn't obligated to do anything.

But if she wants to be considered to be an at least relatively reasonable person, then she is.

Next time, it might be a good idea to send a txt saying that you're worried and hope she's ok.

I'm glad you got what you needed.

You had your closure three years ago. Just because she got wasted, kissed you, and blabbed bullshit doesn't mean the game is back on. The silence should have been your clue, Inspector Gadget.

I hate it when girls don't answer after arranging something or just in general. Playing hard to get is a kick in the balls.