Something crazy happened last night and I just have to talk about it.

So I was out with some friends last night when I get a text message from my boyfriend of 4 years that says some nasty fucked up raunchy shit with a "can't wait to see you" and another girl's name. I was freaked out but with my friends, so stayed calm but I was fuming inside. My phone rings about 30 minutes later and he's telling me how his friend is drunk and thought it would be a funny joke. I could tell he sounded really freaked out but I played it off like everything was cool.

I rushed back to our house after leaving my friends early saying I didn't feel well, its 4 blocks from my home girl's when I pulled in I saw my next door neighbor kinda acting weird in her backyard, gave me an awkward "hey boo" and looked as if she had been running and walked from our low fence into her back door.

I suddenly started to rage inside, I'm not a stupid girl and I knew what was going on.. I always knew they flirted just a little too much and said things in front of me that had deeper meanings..

So anyways, I go FLYING in the front door with a huge SQUEAK noise, and I was wondering SG, should I just spray it with some WD-40 or is there a better way to get my door to stop squeaking?

lolwut?

inb4whatthefuck

Molotov Everything.. (really)

on a serious note:
i can't focus right now bye and good night/good luck.

Just stay calm, keep cool, maintain

and remember that many cheap own-brand lubricants are just as effective as WD40 at a fraction of the price

raid is an excellent lubricant. if you huff it.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/55/Molotov_cocktail_flam.jpg

You just need some dick in that vagina. That will calm you down.

You're a chick?

Lol.5

Just ask your neighbor for some lube.
{DA}

You're a chick?
This is correct.

Use KY.

This is correct.

In that case tits or gtfo.

You know, in the spirit of Totse.

I know exactly what's going on here... and it's a good thing! :)

The problem is not with the door. There is a mouse nearby. That's what's causing the squeaking sound. If you don't have a mousetrap, I'm sure your neighbour would lend you one.

In that case tits or gtfo.

You know, in the spirit of Totse.

You send me a pic of you going throat deep on Dandy Crab, with both of you holding timestamp/namecards and I'll consider it.

You send me a pic of you going throat deep on Dandy Crab, with both of you holding timestamp/namecards and I'll consider it.

:(




... cleavage?

Tit pics for my birthday. Or should I say OUR birthday ;)

In that case tits or gtfo.

You know, in the spirit of Totse.

Seconded with the greatest of enthusiasms.

Maybe it's you that has the problem, not the door.

I think you are a male then.

Case closed.

Irrelevant, but this kid has had me laughing for like, 10 minutes now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFr2YeW4mac&feature=related

Old yeah, but still worth laughing.

I laughed at the tags for that video.

Actually, WD-40 is often highly underrated, and indeed quite useful as a persuasive tool in many difficult situations. In fact, in a one-on-one comparison between shoe-horns, forceps and rubber-banded solutions, which impractically hold back the obstruction 30% more than your trusted and wholly-untreated mixture of WD-40, the winner is an easy bet every single time. With over 147 noxious but interesting chemicals found in a single container of WD-40, you too can stuff 1. whole turkeys, 2. entire roasts, and 3. fully-decorated triple-layer wedding cakes directly down your gullet with just a few squirts of the stuff... not even a single napkin will be required... our promise to you.

We called a girl WD-40 in college because she had one thousand uses, if you know what I mean.

We called a girl WD-40 in college because she had one thousand uses, if you know what I mean.

No...no I dont know what you mean.

No...no I dont know what you mean.

WD40 is known to loosen stuff. Better?

WD40 is known to loosen stuff. Better?

Slightly. But the scar from the wound will never heal.

We called a girl WD-40 in college because she had one thousand uses, if you know what I mean.

Silly mexicans... are you using it for anal lube still?

Silly mexicans... are you using it for anal lube still?

I never knew it was used as anal lube until you posted it.

The absolute freedom and convenience of a spray-based lube... get yours today...

Hit me on my beeper, beeper, beeper, beeper.