Totse, I know ill probably end up regretting coming here for advice but whatever here goes.
Im 20 years old, good looking dude, marine, smart, the works.
I was in high school when I met my ex, we had a wonderful relationship, fell in kiddie love, I took her virginity, all that good shit. Now, things got really fucked up my senior year and she started going through some hard family times and miss perfect turned into a bitch. But the thing is Ive always had a big heart so I loved her nonetheless. We break up. I join the marines, yet I think about her every single day, In the meantime ive been fucking bitches and pursuing other relationships trying to forget her blah blah blah, I come back home after 7 months of training. basic school, infantry school, mos school etc etc. and we start talking again. we get back together for about a month and I felt as happy as I hadnt been in a long time and all that faggot shit. but the thing is that she started acting like a bitch again after a while. She told me she thought about me every day as well, and all this shit but she never made any effort to redeem herself or even gave me a single apology. I deployed, got back recently and I still feel the same fucking way I did about her as when we were together, I still love her like shes everything to me, but I cant have her, so seriously, how can I forget this girl because it hurts me to think about her and the way she was before but at the same time I cherish those memories. I feel exactly the same as If she had died and I had lost her forever, but seeing her face whenever Im back home on leave, stings, I dont show it but it does. I love her more than I love killing hadjis.lol seriously, I do

That's life bro, you have to have thick skin and be able to move on.

She's a bitch because you don't use paragraphs.

I think she's either bitter about something you did to her, or she's become a different person since you two dated, or you never really knew her as a person but instead created your own idealized version of her that you continue to cling to, perhaps as a mental crutch to deal with the stress of combat, as if she were "the good old life you left behind" or however you want to put it. Maybe it's a little bit of each of those reasons. In any case, you need to understand that you will never have a proper relationship with her, so it's best to let go.

You should delete her from your life, and focus on your day to day living. You need to understand that the relationship you had and the girl you were with don't really exist anymore, except in your mind. If she isn't willing to put forth the effort for a relationship, and if you think she owes you an apology for something, it'll never work. So move on.

Again, delete her from your life. Continue to "fuck bitches" and "pursue other relationships." Your idealized version of her is preventing you from succeeding in your relationships, so let go of it and things will probably get better.

You have to work on it day by day. Think about her less and less each day, until you don't think about her anymore.

This..
I have the same problem (Cept I'm not a marine I hjust had to move out of state for work) Now everytime i go back to see my family it tears me up.

I know man but like I said its easier said than done man, This blows. and I dont really know whats wrong with me, I hate loving that girl, I wish I could just move on and enjoy my youth and life while I can but through thick and thin she always plagues if you could say, or resides in my thoughts, my dreams, all that man.

Move the fuck on man. She's obviously no good for you. Delete her number, and remove any contact with her. Go out and meet someone better, shouldn't be hard.

Also, stop being a cockhead.

man, you make me feel better..thanks..

I tried doing that and for a while it worked, when we started talking again at the beginning of this year it was because she seeked me out.. fuccking myspace. and she sends me little messages for every holiday that remind me of her

So ignore it. It's obviously not getting you anywhere. Be a man.

yeah, i should stop being such a pussy, fuck, i hate being human and having emotions and shit. thanks bro