I've decided that Walmart customers are shitheads and the scum of the earth. What are some good ways to make their time at walmart suck so they don't want to come back or atleast have some more respect for the employees?

start placing security tags all over people hahaha.

That shit is always funny. I used to put the sticky tags upside down in the isle so when someone walks over them it sticks to there bottom of the shoe. Then you just following them when they go out the store while security tries to bum rush them to stop them from leaving.

place condoms and lube and tampons and stuff in random people's carts
the lady with a cart full of shit and three kids running around isn't gonna notice if her cart has a box of extra small condoms and cherry flavored lube in it

you could also stalk customers around the store. just like follow them around and don't even try to hide the fact that you are following them. stand like three feet behind them and yell out "CAT!" every four minutes.

stick toilet plungers to refrigerator doors...

I like the idea of following them around.. Or you could do the world a favor and just burn your local walmart down and curse the ground so no more walmarts may be raised.

As much as I like the idea of burning all Wal-Mart stores,
I equally dislike the idea of Wal-Mart collecting the insurance.

Then theres the largest, most extensive Arson Investigation
in the history of your town/city, and even though you may
get away with it, some poor sap will be sitting behind bars.
You see... Where I'm from the cops kiss Wal-Mart's ass.
Wal-Mart bribes them by buying them high dollar equipment
which is Illegal here (gratuity), but they get away with it...
So every cop in town would be busting his/her ass trying to
pin an arson wrap on somebody.

There has to be a way to put the bastards under though.

place condoms and lube and tampons and stuff in random people's carts
the lady with a cart full of shit and three kids running around isn't gonna notice if her cart has a box of extra small condoms and cherry flavored lube in it

What can be even more fun is sticking random items like giant bouncy balls and tires in their cart. Pick out 1 person and see if you can get them with this 4 or more times. Usually by the 4th they are pissed the fuck off.

My stepdad and his brother-in-law used to go to Wal-Mart together; one would get in a wheelchair and act mental while the other pushed him around. The one riding would make all sorts of noises while the one pushing would occasionally slap the other in the back of the head and shout out: "Shut the fuck up, you retard!". The looks people give are priceless! Randomly bumping into people with the wheelchair is also pretty amusing.

Next time you're at walmart talk to some of the customers that are on hold. Pick up one of the department phones then dial #980 and the line number. Ex. - Call on line 1: #9801 It's fun being an asshole to rednecks who call looking for something. Tell them to drive to the store and find it themselves.

This would be cool but I'm pretty sure each store uses different phone codes. :(

I've found that any other retailer does.

This would be cool but I'm pretty sure each store uses different phone codes. :(

I've found that any other retailer does. Every walmart Ive been to in a few states has the same Avaya phone system

of course, you could always do the classic murder/suicide

Let me guess, you live in San Antonio, don't you?

Walmarts here are the shittiest fucking stores ever. If they weren't the only thing open when I get off work, I'd fucking boycott them. I actually did for about 2 weeks, but I could never get anything that I needed because nothing else would be open at night when I got off work, and I had class during the day, so I couldn't go then either.

Stealing someone's trolley (cart) or just get a cart, fill it FULL of shit from different aisles, then just abandon it.

Push it over next to a nearby shelf stocker anytime possible
and stack some of the stock on top to make it look like the
stocker is the one who took and is now using it.

People will be like "WTF... Stupid Employee Took My Cart!"
and will tell everyone about the LAST TIME they went to Wal-Mart.