So it's been a while since we've had an off-topic tech discussion in this forum. Now we've all heard those silly code puns from the thinkgeek tshirts and whatnot - let's try and get something a bit more original. Extra credit for story jokes (not one liners).

I'll start. I don't know how well know this joke is, my Compsci prof told it to me.

Developers, developers, developers!
There's a decent sized software firm based out of New England which is looking to send a bunch of their workers to a tech convention in Berkeley. Instead of just flying everyone there and back, the management decides to make a big thing out of it and buy train tickets. The teams could use the bonding time and everyone felt as though they deserved a few extra days off. So the 10 developers and 10 sales people head off on their trip.

After boarding the train, the sales team notices that the developers only have one ticket between the ten of them. They laugh and say, "what are they trying to do? They're gonna get thrown off! haha, they're never even going to make it to the convention!" Twenty minutes later, one of the developers notices the ticket checker in the next car over. Quickly, all of the developers rush into the car's restroom - barely fitting. The checker comes by and checks all of the sales people's tickets, knocks on the restroom door, "ticket please" - the developers slide their one ticket under the door. Seconds later the ticket is slid back under the door and the checker moves on to the next car.

The sales team sees this and say to each other, "aw man! That's clever! We gotta do that next time. We'll beat them to the punch"

So on the return trip, the sales team is sitting there in the car with their one ticket thinking how clever they are when one of them notices that the developers don't have any ticket this time! They've got nothing. He points this out to the other sales people and wonders what they have up their sleeve this time.

A few minutes into the trip, one of the sales team sees the ticket checker coming and tells all his buddies. Instinctively, they all rush into the bathroom with their one ticket. After they do this, all of the developers stand up and start entering the other restroom. One of the developers knocks on the restroom where the sales team was and says, "ticket please" - takes the ticket, enters the restroom and shuts the door. ;)

I know, I know - long story, silly punch line.

Here's one that is a bit more familiar - and a bit more nerdy.

Three statisticians are out in the woods hunting for deer with bow and arrow. They're all positioned relatively close to each other so they can keep an eye on one another in case anyone gets lost. After a few hours of sitting quietly in the woods, a huge buck comes walking towards them. The first statistician draws his bow and lets an arrow fly. The arrow nails a tree about 10 yards to the left of the deer. Knowing the first statistician would miss, the second statistician already had his bow drawn - ready to fire. He lets his arrow go and it hits a tree 10 yards to the right of the deer. The third statistician sees this and in a burst of excitement yells "We got him!"


And Happy Christmas, everyone! Merry New Years!

ah ha ha. I have heard that train joke with windows vs apple devs
I got one.

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were tasked with pounding a nail in a wall, under the condition that the nail is only driven half of its remaining length into the wall with each blow by the hammer.

The mathematician exclaims "That is impossible! We will never be able to completely pound the nail into the wall!"
The physicist exclaims "That will take an infinite amount of time!"
The engineer takes the nail and pounds it right in and sets the hammer down.
The mathematician and physicist stand there baffled. "How did you do that?" they ask.
The engineer replies "I just got close enough for all practical purposes"

And where the fuck is lifejunkie. It looks like he just stopped posting a few months ago. His site has a few broken links too.

I've heard the train one with Engineers and Business men.

Not so techie, but:

Whats the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers?

(BTW: I'm double majoring in both currently)

Mechies build Weapons, Civies build Targets.


Fun Quote I added the last bit to:

In a world of free software without Fences or walls, who needs Jobs, Gates, or Windows?

RDP

What goes "BRUUMM BRUUMM" (while holding your ear)

Engineer

What goes "BRUUMM BRUUMM..sorry" (while holding your ear)


Civil Engineer

Yay for Christmas crackers!

Lolzzatchuuuuu

Lol, I found all funny except RDP's, but that's just because he's a faggot.

fuck you