I know the 'sex talk' is normal. But when a parent realizes you start masturbating, is there meant to be some talk? I only ask because I had to have one today with my lil' bro. He came up to me for like the 5th time today and said "Hi arquin!" so I said "Dude, you're getting annoying, go entertain your self, go play in the park".

Any way, about 20 minutes later my sister drags my bro in, exhausted and outraged, turns out my bro decided to take me literally: he just dropped his dacks in the middle of the park and started to entertain him self, and to play in the park. First I was like "Dude...what the fuck man? That's so not normal", but then I had to have the proper talk, telling him that people can go to jail for that.

I HAD to have this talk with him. But did any of you get an embarrassing talking to from your parents?

He's far too old for it to be a cute "haha lol, little kid playing with their wang" like when babies run around with out nappies in the summer. No, it was just weird and creepy. Totse's pretty fucked (toaster fucker?), any interesting speeches?

By the age of puberty any kid would figure out what's socially appropriate and what's not. If they don't, they probably should've read more books as kids and went outside and got interested in how the world works.


My parents knew I had access to the internet, and therefore they figured I knew more than them anyway, so no talk was had.

Also, there's nothing embarrassing about any of it. It's only embarrassing if you make it embarrasing, and making something that's natural and beautiful embarrassing is fucking stupid.

Any way, about 20 minutes later my sister drags my bro in, exhausted and outraged, turns out my bro decided to take me literally: he just dropped his dacks in the middle of the park and started to entertain him self, and to play in the park. First I was like "Dude...what the fuck man? That's so not normal", but then I had to have the proper talk, telling him that people can go to jail for that.


Are you cereal?

Masturbating in public can land you in jail in Australia?

Are you cereal?

Masturbating in public can land you in jail in Australia?

I may be making an assumption here. But if a grown up did it in front of children, they'd be labeled a sex offender, no?

I never said he will, I said people can.

How old is your brother?

How old is your brother?

Too old to jack off in a park.

Why aren't you doing sexy sexiful things with your girlfriend?

Seriously... how does someone not realize it's NOT ok to jack off in a public place??

Yes, I got the akward talk way back when. I think my mom was paranoid about everything so she talked to me before I even really knew what it was all about. So about halfway through the conversation she gets too embarrassed and walks away haha

Too old to jack off in a park.

Why aren't you doing sexy sexiful things with your girlfriend?

Because it's 3:18 am and she sleeps at this time. Fucking slut.

Anyway, you seriously have to tell us his age. :o

Anyway, you seriously have to tell us his age. :o

I don't want this thread to be about him, but rather funny stories of incredible awkwardness.

Well one time my little brother (who's now 12) was telling me all these period jokes and trying to laugh at them.

Then he goes "Hey Chichi, what's a period?"

My explanation was pretty fucking weird and awkward.

There was a kid at my high school who got caught masturbating inside of a pine tree (a big pine) during a football game. I don't know what came of it, but I remember hearing that story.

But really, I hope you explained to your brother that that's not allowed and that if he MUST do that, he should find a private location for it.

I went home on leave about 4 months ago and my slut of a sister was babbling how she gets laid twice a week by random guy's she's met, but she'll never get pregnant because she makes them wear two condoms and she's on the pill. Well, tired of the blatantly obvious bullshit, I grab a box of condoms (magnum for size reasons) and using the balloon pump like clowns use at parties, blew half the box up, tied them off, then dropped them all over her room. When she got back from work, she came out and was trying to figure out who was nice enough to put all the balloons in her room...and WHY THEY WERE KIND OF SLICK.

I fell on the ground laughing, then proceeded to get in my car and head downtown to get laid, leaving my grandmother to try and explain what exactly she discovered in her room.

I may be making an assumption here. But if a grown up did it in front of children, they'd be labeled a sex offender, no?


uhm

So your brother is a grown up, yet he didn't know better than not to masturbate in public?

Is he mentally retarded?

uhm

So your brother is a grown up, yet he didn't know better than not to masturbate in public?

Is he mentally retarded?

I so wasn't gonna touch that, but yes, there does seem to be a lack of common sense here...

Lul'd.

I know a guy who masturbated in the back of a crowded classroom, during class. Got caught too.

I would smash him in the head with a sledgehammer while he's sleeping; Gallagher style. But hey that's just me...

Arquin's little brother is probably older than me.

uhm

So your brother is a grown up, yet he didn't know better than not to masturbate in public?

Is he mentally retarded?

Take these steps:

Get dictionary
Locate the word if
Read definition
Stop being a gook
Come back to my thread

Yes, he is 'mentally challenged'.

Yes, he is 'mentally challenged'.

Don't you have like foster siblings and shit?

uhm

So your brother is a grown up, yet he didn't know better than not to masturbate in public?

Is he mentally retarded?

i dunno but it sure seems like you are...

Don't you have like foster siblings and shit?

Yes. He is one of them. He's only young but he's the most hardcore little cunt you'll meet, kicked a heroin addiction at birth

But seriously wan, how're the streets working out for you? Found work or do even street corners have standards?

Well my brother got a girlfriend in like kindergarten until grade 7-8. One day I talked to him and it went something like this..

Me: "so hows Caorline?"
Him: "she's good"
Me: "You kiss eachother yet?"
Him: "yeah"
Me: "On the lips?"
Him: "sometimes"
Me: "You fuck her yet?"
Him: *nervous* "No, eew"
Me: "Pussy."

That was about it.

Well my brother got a girlfriend in like kindergarten until grade 7-8.

What the fuck? HOW?

What the fuck? HOW?

Believe it or not, it does happen sometimes. Although the role of gf and bf aren't really understood typically until grade 6 or 7.

Lul'd.

I know a guy who masturbated in the back of a crowded classroom, during class. Got caught too.

I would smash him in the head with a sledgehammer while he's sleeping; Gallagher style. But hey that's just me...

We had some dudes doing that on the public buses, it was pretty nasty. Then someone caught them and the beating that ensued made me laugh so hard.

uhm

So your brother is a grown up, yet he didn't know better than not to masturbate in public?

Is he mentally retarded?

who sed his brother was a grown up?

read the fuckin thread next time.

Take him to Mickey's for a sundae.

My parents never told me anything, I was raised on the internet and common sense.

same, except my mom was always like "use a condom, use a condom!" when I was like ten....

My pedo friend sent me the vid. He's kind of cute.

But telling your bro that it's illegal to jack off in public is NOT giving him "the talk", at all.

one time i was watching some porn while jackin it, and my step mom walks in on me i put my penis in my underwear and dont manage to close the screens fast enough. my step mom looks at me and says "were you masturbating?" i said something along the lines of " no, were you masturbating?"


ahhh, good times.

one time i was watching some porn while jackin it, and my step mom walks in one me i put my penis in my underwear and dont manage to close the screens fast enough. my step mom looks at me and says "were you masturbating?" i said something along the lines of " no, where you masturbating?"


ahhh, good times.

hahahaha. NICE.

one time i was watching some porn while jackin it, and my step mom walks in one me i put my penis in my underwear and dont manage to close the screens fast enough. my step mom looks at me and says "were you masturbating?" i said something along the lines of " no, were you masturbating?"


ahhh, good times.I love turning accusations around.

I got that same exact talk from the cops last week. They should seriously put up a sign or something.

I used to masturbate in public all the time when I was little. I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew that it felt good. And for some reason my parents waited until I was seven before they were like "uh, you should do that in your room..."

It still embarasses me to think about it. Oh well.

What a little whore!

Pics or it didn't happen.

There was a kid in my 8th grade history class that always sat in the back and always smiled.. He was kinda weird and he always carried his stupid little wheeled backpack on his side.

Anyways, one day in history he just pulls his pants down and starts jackin off in the middle of class.

He ended up gettin expelled.

He should have told them it was his art project, and made up some bullshit reasoning for why it's great art.

i lol'd so hard in this thread

the only talk i recived was from my dad on our way home from work he turns to me and says now son i know you have alot of friends that are girls and starts going on about sex and the end result was i dont care how much you do it or where as long as you where a condom do your old man proud and fuck everyday of the week make sure its a different chick though

but i always find talking about it with parents is just weird seriously i could talk to anyone else about it just not my parents

I remember when some Asian kid in senior year was jacking off in the school toilet. All you could hear was the pitter patter of cum droplets on the floor, and then he scurried out but got caught sperm handed by a number of guys, including me lol. He really left that cubicle in a state...

My parents basically just gave me the internet and a "good luck" with 2 thumbs up.

:(

Eh, I'd say that's a pretty good way to go about it.

Man.. I never had a talk like that with my parents :'(

Your a good brother.
The closest shit my mum said to me like that is
"Make sure you clean down there when you shower"
Dude, good on you.

Also, yes it was needed.

JUST DONT TELL YOUR PARENTS if hes like 10+
Its shameful as fuck.
This is kind of funny.. Since I asked you a sexual question like.. an hour ago *facepalms*

one time some kid jacked off in sex ed

Shut the fuck up, troll.

Also, your a dirty troll