Now I'm not necessarily condoning opiate use, they have there purpose in this world. But I've been around for a while and just noticed that there is rarely any support threads about recovery and sobriety. I'm not really talking about daily smokage or getting drunk now and then, or perhaps even experimenting with harder stuff. But I think a thread for people that truly have a drug dependency and are looking for information or support would be nice. Now I know BLTC may not be the best place someone should look towards for this kind of topic. However I don't see why it would really hurt, if no one is really interested the thread will just die and fall off the page.

But anyways I would like to share with you my story and some tips that got me through. To make a long story short I never really had been dependent on any drug up until about two years ago. I was experimenting with various substances (much to my disappointment) until I had stumbled upon the one and only, "Opiate". Everything about it was so satisfying the high, the availability, the pricing. Next thing I know one thing leads to another and it went from a "once in a while" thing to every fucking day. Not only was I in denial about my problem but it was really starting to change everything about me. I lost ambition for everything writing, producing electronic music, eating, sometimes even maintaining my own personal hygiene. I was living a lie, I played it off to my loved ones that everything was alright, even though I was slowly slipping away day by day. I can remember the first time I experienced opiate withdrawal, the depression was the hardest to get over. I could deal with the sweats/shakes, achy body, sleeplessness, but the depression... I just couldn't lift myself out of that state of mind, everyday tasks like work and school became ten times more difficult. I knew I couldn't go on like this, the longer I drew the whole thing out the harder it would be to sustain sobriety.

During this time in my life I was quite ignorant about addiction and the consequences of my actions. I slowly began to realize that life is a two way street, that their is balance and order to everything. Sure I might of been high and feeling good for that day, or maybe even the whole week, but when that day comes, (and it will) the drug only left me worse than I started. As my Dad always used to say "You can't have your cake and eat it too". Little did I see the meaning behind that simple proverb. But anyways I wanted the best of both worlds, and it doesn't really work that way. When I began to realize these things I knew it was time to be clean, but I didn't really want it inside. I knew that it was the right thing to do, that it was in my best interest to stop but I wasn't really ready to stop. I still liked to get high, and that is way I relapsed time and time again. The one thing that has maintained my sobriety is truly having a hatred for the drug and what it has done to my life. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom, others just a realization or wake up call (O.D.ing etc...). You will know in your heart when you are ready to stop, you will feel it. The pain, the lies, that endless cycle, just being totally sick and tired of everything. It will eventually all come together. See another thing I realized about addiction is that all addicts have some sort of support system that enables them to maintain there addiction. Whether it’s a large sum of money from a settlement, or criminal enterprise (slangin, bangin, stealing), or simply asking Mom and Dad for money everyday. These support systems might maintain themselves for days, months, maybe even years if you’re lucky, but one day, one day it will disappear. And it is at this point that people began to think about getting clean and sober but it is hard. At this point trying to maintain a normal life seems almost impossible. But you have a choice, to end the dependency before it gets to that point. I'm sorry if I sound kinda preachy or pushy, I'm not out to push any kind of anything on to people, believe me I know Totse.

But back to the dialogue, during this stage (I was using about 160mgs of oxy or equivalent to about $50 dollars worth of decent dope in one sitting) I decided to try the methadone treatment. Again as mentioned before I really didn't want to get clean, I just wanted a regular dosage of highness to get by. I was again lying to myself thinking that I was helping my addiction when in reality I was just worsening the situation. Maybe there are people out there that found Methadone treatment helpful, but I wasn't one of them, along with many others I met who also went to the clinic. Unless you are heavily dependent on opiates (like slamming 4-5 80's or a good chunk of dope in one sitting) I wouldn't suggest methadone treatment. Methadone is a very potent drug that is extremely hard to get off of once you’re hooked. I continued the "treatment" for about a month before I had enough. I quit cold turkey off the methadone and OC and began the worst withdrawals of my life for about a week. I remember not sleeping for like four days and I started to see shapes and lines at work. It was horrible but that still wasn't enough for me to stop. A couple months after the treatment I overdosed smoking fet and that is when I began to really get clean.

Hear are something’s that helped me quit:
1.) The first and most important factor is truly wanting sobriety. I mentioned this in greater detail earlier.
2.) Stay away from people that enable you to get high. Even seeing people faded triggers me, but as time goes it gets easier to deal with. The worst is having a significant other that doesn't want to get clean. I can't even stress how hard it is when two lovers are locked in a cycle of enabling and supporting each other's addiction.
3.) Eat a proper diet even if it’s hard to make a bowl of spaghetti-o’s. Soup is good, along with fresh fruits and meat.
4.) Delete your hookup #'s out of your phone. Do it! When you do this you are being real to yourself. I never did this until I really knew it was time. It will only tempt you.
5.) Make a list of reasons why you originally wanted to get clean. This will help remind you when the going gets tough and it will.
6.) Don’t justify using by telling your self that you are going to be able to use once in a while. While I don't completely agree with AA and its religious overtones, this is something that I found from experience true. The cycle will only start all over again, and while I do believe in God, having blind faith will not give you the strength. God is not something that will grant you the will power, it is entirely up to you. I will admit having some sort of faith might help a little but ultimately it’s up to you.
7.) During hard withdrawals if you don't have a problem with alcohol it won't hurt to catch a buzz to get you by. However this can't be abused or you will only be transferring from one addiction to another. This is something I’ve done a couple of times when the W.D.'S were almost unbearable. Anti-anxiety med's help but take at your own risk. Know your dosage and only use them properly to suppress the ill effects. Aspirin also helps with the aches and pains, and maybe some sleep aids to help during those first few nights. I only suggest these things for the first couple of nights, remember the first day of being clean is usually easy. It's the days following that it will hit hard. Don't mix these though, try one at a time, like a little booze or Valium. The sleep aids especially, don't mix alcohol with Valium and/or sleep aids even if there OTC.
8.) For light to moderate addiction, I would highly suggest sub-oxone treatment. After leveling off the doctors will taper you off by lowering your dosage until you can stop without experiencing ANY withdrawals. However the meds must be taken properly to be effective, not to get high.
9.) Check out some AA or NA support programs or maybe out-patient therapy.
10.) If you are extremely dependent than I would suggest an in-patient therapy program to have the proper support systems. Sometimes it is impossible to get clean by yourself and these programs are good for people who struggle with long term abuse.
Well I'm tired of typing, and in case you were wondering if you actually read this whole post I derived most of this information from personal experience and AODA classes at a local college. I'm currently enrolled in a Human services program and I've taken several classes pertaining to drug counseling and its elements (psychology, interviewing, counseling AODA, drugs and human behavior, etc...) I tried to be as un-bias as possible when drawing from my own experiences so feel free to comment if you see anything you might disagree with. I might add more if there is a good amount of responses but at this point I feel confident with the information I mentioned. For everyone in treatment Good Luck I know you can do it.:)

tl:dr.

this ^

Not applicable to me but there's alot of people in this forum (or there used to be.) that can relate very closely to what you have just said.