Do you just put baking soda in the microwave or something like that?

You're a dumbass. Weed is grown. To properly grow weed, first take some lima beans. Put them in a damp, folded paper towel and put that in a ziplock bag, then close it and put it in the sun.

Wait for it to grow for about a month.

Now you need to force the lima beans to grow pot instead of, well, lima beans. 23alpha-Dihydrogenase will do the trick (more commonly known as Raid insecticide). While being poisonous to insects, it will actually kill off the lima bean portions of the plant.

The lima bean will fight back by growing pot, bursting with THC that will counteract the 23alpha-Dihydrogenase, hence saving the plant and giving you your stash of marijuana.

In order to apply it properly, simply take the lima bean saplings out of the ziplock bag, soak the paper towel in raid, and then leave it out in the sun (not in the ziplock bag anymore) for a few more weeks, misting is with raid every other day.

Soon you will have some nice, fresh weed to share with your friends! :p

Actually did this about a week ago, works surprisingly well.

Actually did this about a week ago, works surprisingly well.

I thought you were spoused to use turpentine on the seeds?
Then microwave the seeds and smoke 'em.