This may get a little complicated but bear with me! I'll try my best to explain.

When I was 15 I was interested in a Swiss exchange student. But he wasn't allowed to date. So we'd mess around, kissing and shit, but we weren't exclusive. I also really liked this other boy named Ian. So sometimes I'd mess around with him. Then one day came where I decided I was ready to have sex but I had to choose which one. I chose the Swiss boy. This was Halloween 2005. I took him home, we got naked and preceded to... not have sex. Swiss wasn't ready for sex. He was nervous and couldn't hold an erection. I repected this and agreed to wait, if we finally became boyfriend and girlfriend. We did. So I didn't lose my virginity that day.

Since all his friends knew I chose him that night and took him home, I told them we had sex. I liked him alot and tried to spare his ego and pride. So I lied. In Feb 2006 we broke up and we never slept with each other.

Fast forward to April 06, I was sixteen. I went to a house party and Ian was there. We preceded to drink ourselves stupid and I took him home. Where I had sex for the first time. It was bad and sloppy. But I was a little girl and happy and just assumed he liked me and wanted to date me. I told him to come visit the next day. He didn't. A week past and another party was going on, one I knew Ian would be at. So I dressed super pretty and went. He ignored me. Wouldn't talk to me. Finally I worked up the courage to approach him and asked him to come share a smoke with me. He looked down at me, shook his head and turned away. I was crushed. I then got really drunk and made out with 5 people at that party. A friend later told me Ian only fucked me because the girl he wanted to fuck wasn't there.

So I felt used and abused. All the cliches. And I felt like the only thing men wanted was my body. Therefore I started my slut phase.

Now my issue...
I've recently been reconnected with Ian. And he doesn't know what kind of impact he had on my life. He took my virginity and treated me like shit. Although he didn't know I was a virgin. He thought I slept with Swiss. I want to say something to him about this. I realize it was two years ago but it hurt me and influenced me substantially. Should I say something? Should I seek some closure to this grudge Ive been carrying around?

TL/DR - The boy who took my virginity treated me like shit, so I grew up thinking that men only wanted me for my body. But the boy doesn't know he took my virginity. Should I talk to him after all this time or leave it be?

if he's willing to hear you out, then go for it.. tell him what was really going on. if he's still bitter on the subject, move on.

Let it die, it will just have negative reciprocation's on your current boyfriend.

Ian will tell you, your boyfriend, and everyone that you are pathetic and not over him.

Think about how this kid Ian felt when you rejected him for the swiss guy. He wasn't going to sit around and wait for you one special night at a drunken party where you would reconnect, have sex, and date each other. It's entirely your fault that he didn't know he took your virginity. Yeah he was acting like a dick, but who wouldn't after being rejected for another guy who he thought you slept with.
I say all in all, just let it go. If you guys become friends and he brings up that night you had together, tell him. Otherwise the past is the past and I think you need to start getting over it on your own.

You were a whore before Ian. It's sluts like you that make guys insecure around their girlfriends, not knowing what they are doing behind their back.

You need a slap upside the head.

Maybe several.

Why on earth should he deserve to be told he took your virginity? And why on earth would you feel the need to tell him.

Ian is obviously a grade "A" wanker and not worth a moments thought or regret on your part.

Ain't no circle to close on that excuse for a man.

You made a bad choice and then went on to make loads more just to be real sure it was a bad choice the first time around. We all do. Get over it and him.

__________________
Eoghan, Samwise gamgee. The truth is out there, people.

Oh stfu captain bitter, she didnt fuck around on anyone, she wasnt being a slut, she was being young.

You're right as usual Jackketch. Thank you.

I think I was jus a little overwhelmed because as soon as we started talking again all those bitter feelings resurfaced. But yes, its time to let it go.

I'm sorry, I don't fully understand exactly why that would trigger a 'slut phase' for you. Could you possibly elaborate a little on this, because I'd like to understand more (about you and in general).

Closure...isn't always the best thing to have. It seems like people typically always want it but don't know what could come of it, and sometimes (read: a lot of times) a person isn't happy with what they hear or what comes of it.

I understand your situation. Honestly, (from what you've told us) it doesn't seem like Ian would care too much ( as wouldn't a lot of guys, unfortunately).

But really ask yourself, what do you want to come from this? What are you hoping to walk away with, to achieve, or to gain?

Explaining to someone that they hurt you in some way and them not caring or laughing or whatever could end up hurting even more than not saying anything in the first place. =/

I dunno how it is for other girls, but for me the first time was suppose to mean something. I wasn't into the whole romantic, candles and roses on the bed shit. I just wanted my first time to be with someone I cared about. And I did care about him, it just wan't mutual. So that blunt rejection fucked with my head.

I was really hurt at that second party and decided that making out with anyone who whould have me would make me feel better, and maybe make Ian feel jealous. It didn't work lol. But I continued my behavior for awhile after that. My friends used to laugh at me and say that everytime I was drunk I just HAD to get with someone. And it happened to be true. I dunno why I did this, but without fail, every party, dance, kegger, whatever, I would get with someone. Maybe it made me feel wanted or special. I always felt like shit after though.

Well it wasn't exactly Ian's fault that I started whoring around. It was the way I responded to how he treated me. I know I had a choice to control my own actions and relationships with men. I just choose not to. FYI I am no longer like this at all. I have a boyfriend who loves and respects me. And I know that I'm more then just tits and ass to him. These were all issues I had before.