So I was really bored two days ago and kind of horny- so I made a cast for a dildo out of Crayola brand modeling clay and made a dildo out of ice. I didn't put much thought into it- or try to lubricate it or anything so I just slowly inserted it up through my rectum and held it in place- because it felt really good just sitting there without having to really shift it aroundor whatever. So anyway- after not much time at all (15 seconds) My asshole started to become unbarringly cold- I tried to pull it out but it was stuck....

SO it was frozen shut in my bunghole- and here I am totally freaking out because it's really embarrassing but the pain is way more overbearing than the embarassment. I sat around for a few minutes in extreme agony contemplating what to do- so I decided to take a hot shower to try and wedge it out. Problem is- I'm staying at a building with public restrooms and showers so it would be really akward to hold my ass up to the shower head trying to get a dildo out in this situation.

Evantually with enough cold water and shampoo lubrication half of the dildo popped out landed in the floor and cracked into a few peices. But it didn't end there- because my butthole was throbbing like mad and I could feel it kinda swelling up a little. I really was very embarassed by this predicament and i Most definately did NOT want to go to the hospital- but I kinda found it to be necessary... So I wobbled my way four blocks down the road to the hospital in the freezing cold and got there feeling shittier than ever. I wobbled up to the receptionist and people were looking at me REALLY funny and I could feel my cheeks burn red with embarassment- which only added to the anguish because now people could tell that I did something absolutely fucked up.

I walked up to the receptionist- she asked me what is the problem- and I told her I had a very BIG problem- but I couldn't talk about it right there and could I tell her in the other room. Some asshole teenagers who couldnt mind their own business starting laighing hysterically at this and so I wobbled into the next room and was like, "It's kinda hard to say- It's... I think I... I was playing truth or dare with my friends and there dared me to stick a giant penis shaped icecube up my bunghole and I don't like to lose so I did. And I'm in an extreme amount of pain rightnow- can barely walk or even breathe." So she had me go to the next room and they took me to the care room almost right away- except I have to wait like 2 hours while I was burning my asshole off to hell and complicating suicide by choking on one of the seizure sticks on the all or strangling myself with breathing tubes.

Eventually the doctor came in- I explained my problem- he checked it out and gave me a shot for the pain. Then he felt around- and had teh nurse stuck her finger up my butt- she said it wouldnt feel anything- but I did feel it a little- and it didn't feel very good. Although it did gave me a semi erection from the touching or wahtever. So anyways the doc explained to me that I had some moderate to severe frostbite in my rectum and that tay would have to surgically colderize my anal epidermia or something i dunno (they ended up burning off the first three layers of my inner asshole and sent me home with a rubber tube up my butt and a prescription for painkillers and put me on this shitty oll liquid diet.) It really sucks. So kids- remember next time you have the urge to stick frozen-ice penis shaped dildos up your butt that it's possibly not the best idea.

thanks for the tip.

tl/dr

My EYES!

Paragraphs, please!

Done. My literary skills are less then unpallarleled unfortunately- so I cant really catagorize.

Well there goes this afternoon's plans.

Put it in your urethra next time.

It looks like you misspelled 'catastrophe'.

Definitely a good story, doubt it's true, but an A+ for effort. If it is true, I don't see how you could have stood the pain from the initial insertion of a frozen object, I tried sticking an ice cube in my ex's vagina and she was screaming.

-Selah

bullcrap, but nice try.

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