Something many people don't realize is that there are two kinds of cheaters in monogamy

The first, is the well known kind that has sex with someone else.

The second, is less thought of or identified as a cheater, which is the person who doesn't have sex with their partner enough.

The reason why I consider it cheating, is because part of the agreement of monogamy to me, is that you must satisfy your partners needs within reason, with the trade-off being them only sleeping exclusively with you. It is unfair to keep someone to yourself, but not give them what they need.

In all relationships I start, I tell my partner right up front that if they want monogamy, they have to keep me satisfied within reason. If they don't keep me satisfied, I will then bring it to their attention that I'm not getting enough. If they fail to keep up, I then ask to seek an outside partner to fill in what they can't give me. It is then up to them whether they can handle me having another partner, or if they want to leave. I simply refuse to let someone guilt trip me with love to deny myself happiness, and I'm not happy unless I get enough sex. It's not cheating in my opinion if you are open about the lack of sex, and seek a second partner to alleviate the problem, with their consent.

So umm... sounds good, but what are we meant to discuss here?

I agree, a monopoly on sex is just unfair. Free trade and competition ftw

The problem with this thinking, although I completely agree, that women attach emotion to sex. If your woman is fine with you having sex with someone else but won't satisfy you herself that to me says that she would rather not be in a relationship with you.
So what you're saying is

A good relationship is one where both partners sexual needs are met exclusively by one another?

Agreed.

Yes, exactly.

Cool, What if one partner can only be sexually satisfied by say...a horse?

Dump them for being a freak.

That's something I wonder about. How do people end up in these sexless relationships. Surely there has to be warning signs? Dump them. That's the POINT of a relationship, sex on tap with some you love, trust and care about. Once you take the sex out of the equation, they're just a really good friend. How the fuck do people find these girls any way?

I love that game.

In my situation, she started out as a total nymphomaniac, and then she developed a physical problem, which was cysts between the muscle layers of her vaginal opening. Fucking her aggravated them, and it was painful for her. This limited us to sex once every week or two. This isn't enough for me. We split, but we remain friends. We don't see each other too often though, cause her new BF doesn't like me.

Man, that sounds horrible...

Physical reasons would have to be an exception. I've been in that situation with urinary tract infections, etc. But some girls just "aren't in the mood".

You sir, are a jackass.

I mean, the way you put it makes sense and all, but stop trying to find reason in your dick ways; you're just a jackass.

You are one cold motherfucker and I despise you.
You dumped a girl for not being PHYSICALLY able to give you enough sex?!? She was incapable. You heartless bastard. God I want to shove a fuckin steal rod up your urethra and leave it to rust. Let's see you please a partner after that. Die alone, seriously you don't deserve anyone.

i was dating a girl who lost a leg in a motorcycle accident

i went to visit her in the hospital after her surgery, and dumped her on the spot...

... i don't give a fuck

So you consider that cheating? I can see why you have an issue with your needs not being met, but I don't know if that terminology is really applicable.

Acts I've heard referred to as cheating other than in the obvious physical sense (not saying I necessarily agree or disagree with these assertions) involve cheating by endowing certain words or thoughts on an individual besides your partner, that your partner feels should be reserved just for them.

For example, some people consider cybering or even looking at porn cheating because it involves intimate thoughts or exchanges with another person.


I think failing to meet the needs of someone you're in a relationship with might be better termed "neglect."


...but perhaps this is just semantics.

This is not entirely true. My woman, for example, won't let me stick my dick in her ass. I care too much about her to do it without asking, and I'm most certainly not going to dump her for it. Its called compromise. I dont force her to do things she doesnt like, and she doesnt force me. Likewise, if she wants to do something I dont like, we have ourselves a tradeoff.

Her starving me of butt sex isn't cheating in any conceivable concept.

I am in the exact same situation LOL.

kudos to you for staying strong, sir.