So, on a late night excursion many nights ago, I went on a romantic date with a possible ladyfriend. We went to the movies, and had a good time in the back of the theater kissing and copping a feel or five. We leave the movies and are kissing an touching as I am driving her home. We kiss on the doorstep, and I guess she was really in to it, because she opens the door and pulls me inside. We kiss inside her house and she really seems to be getting in to it. She pulls me by the hand past the living room, where her dad was watching TV, and we race up in to her room. I hear her dad start to chuckle as we race up the stairs.

We go in to her room and we start kissing on her bed. I take off her top, and start going after the boobies, which she really liked. For that, she unbuckled my pants and started to rub my dick. She gets to business and starts giving me a blowjob. This was my first time getting one, so I did not know the etiquette, or how to act during the event. Regardless, I just sat there with my eyes close and enjoyed my trip to heaven.

Lo and behold, she is good at what she does. So, in a matter of 5 minutes or less, I can feel the pressure starting to build. About a minute after that, I procede to have the most violent and pleasurable orgasm of my life. But alas, I of course forgot to let her know this was about to happen. She stops immediately, and kinda gags on my seed. I start laughing, because all the stories I had heard about the choking and gagging seemed to come true. Apparently, she did not think this was as finny as I did. She got off her knees, and spit my junk in my face. She replied with a coy "think it's funny now, asshole?" I laughed my ass off in her face and she started to cry.

I ran downstairs and looked at her dad in the living room, who was glaring at me, trying to figure out what was on my cheek. Realizing I hadn't wiped my face, I burst out laughing as he finally figured out what it was. I ran out the door and in to my car, and sped away as fast as I could. I parked in a lot and cleaned off my face, and then called every guy friend I knew and told them what happened. I have been told this date-night turned out to be a resounding WIN.

So what say you totseans, win or fail?



TL;DR
Good date, get a bj, hilarity ensues.

I think all the win disappeared when you got semen on your face. Way to make someone who opened themselves up to you feel like shit.

Thanks for the laugh even if oyur trolling its still funny as shit

Kissing in the car is not safe.

Nah, it's not a troll post. I really want to know what totse thinks of my most hilarious sexual moment. And yes, I know kssing in the car is not safe.

Hahaha I thought it was funny as shit. Good story!

+1 New Arrival

You sir, are full of win.

Pretty much.

If I were that girl I would have punched you in the face before spitting your fluids back on you.

Also, I think it's pretty much failure because now you've just ruined any chance for more fellatio. Good job.

I had many lulz. Win.

Win. Although her dad sounds a bit off chuckling at her daughter about to get possibly fucked. This could have been an epic news report though. "Kid gets face blown off upon angry father finding seeing semen on his face."

lawl win

omg that one was golden. I lol'd

Fag. Why laugh? Are you that socially inept?

Not really, just the fact I was getting something I had fantasized about so much just made me feel giddy inside. So I laughed.

In todays news





Mentally disabled homosexual breaks into home and maturbates onto own face

What a champ. She really knows how to turn the tables around on you. She deserves a medal. You deserve a bottle of face wash, or better yet, industrial bleach. Also, how old are both of you? A father chuckling at his 16 year old daughter about to be getting fucked seems a little deranged and irresponsible. Unless he's in on it too...

That's priceless. The ol' white dragon.

ROFL, This story should be stickied or soemthing like that. Funniest thing i"ve read on this forum.

ROFLMAO

made me laugh, good job.

Win.

It's a fucking lame story. Full of fail thread. It would be funny if you had made it awkward, but dude... You've got a grown man looking at you with semen/saliva on your face and you just laugh like a social retard. The plot is okay, the main character on the other side is a dumbass.

...i beg to differ

i laughed

+1

damn...we need a funny post like this everyday XD

...seriously though...u just left her there crying?

Yeah, I just left her there. The fact that she spit my own semen on my face kind of put me off of ever talking to her again.

....true, that would suck...well, actually that would kinda blow XD

lolz the look on her dads face would have been priceless

lol,that was retarded.No WIN here.

That was some funny shit. Id say if you had of dodged your own jizz it would have been more of a win.

Next time don't laugh and she might suck it again lol

+1 for the new arrival.

This story led to many lulz

funny. yes. win. not so sure.