So, me and my girly have always had a very good relationship. We've been going out for over a year and a half now. I mean, we've had our little issues, but we've talked them out, and I thought we were A-OK.

Well, a little back story first. I used to do alot of drugs. She didn't say anything about it, but I knew it bothered her, so after some pretty unfortunate circumstances happened I told her I would stop and I did. kinda. Well, the times I have used since then I KNOW she doesn't know about, so that doesn't apply.

Anyway now that I'm "antidrug" she has become very judgemental towards me. Like, every time something involving drugs comes up and I say something, she'll glare at me like I've just crucified Jesus. She's very catholic btw. She drinks, but has never touched any kind if drug, and is the kind of stubborn person that won't take advil when she's bitching about how much pain she's in. That is so fucking aggravating. >_<

Ok, so AFAIK, those are our only 'hiccups'.

Literally. that's IT. Since neither of us do drugs, the topic doesn't come up much, and therefore it's almost never a problem. (although whenever it DOES come up, I'm instantly in the doghouse, even if I try to take her side.)

I can deal with that, I'm sure I put her through alot of emotional stress without even knowing it.

But the other day, my friend called me on the phone because he was out and he needed a number someone had written onto his facebook wall. I said ok, since I was in front of the computer anyway, I'll go get it for you and call you back.

I don't have a facebook myself, but my girlfriend does. Well, she must have still been signed in from when she was over my house, because when I went facebook.com her profile came up. Usually, i would have just logged out, but she had just told me this morning about this very funny video that her friend had sent her on facebook. I thought, hey, I'm bored, I'll just go check it out now!

Note: We are not private people at all. She has my aim password, email password, etc. And I have all hers. Not because we want to prove anything, just because it's convenient. I have her go into my email all the time when I'm out, and she'll do the same. So it's not like I was crossing a line by going into her facebook inbox uninvited.

Anyway, I don't have a facebook, so I'm not really sure how it works, but the video wasn't in the inbox. Maybe it was on her wall or something, who knows. What i DID find, however, were two emails.

One from her exboyfriend, who's a complete nutjob and prays to the moon god once a month, as well as sleeping with amethyst rocks in his pillow case for evil spirits or dreaming or something. It was titled "Hey Sweety" and contained this text:

to which she replied:
Ok, right? sounds good. I wasn't aware she was having issues with me, but whatever. As long as it's worked out, right?

Well, now with my curiosity thoroughly piqued, I read the next one. It's from a professor at her school, of all people, and it reads a little something like this:


Ok, so what the fuck. "Troy" is one of my best friends, and he's off at school and has been since august. I haven't talked to him much since then, and definitely NOt about drugs, so I don't know what the fuck she's talking about.

We hung out on the night of the 28th, btw, so whatever she "couldn't do", apparently was sheduled to happen that night. She had a great time that night, smiling and laughing every other time I looked at her... >_<

I called her up last night and casually asked her "how she thought WE were doing", to which she replied 'very good'...she asked me why, and I just said I thought so too and I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

So why the fuck is she writing THIS:
GARBAGE to her professors?! "Aside from the bullshit it's pretty good"...we have a great time hanging our, all my friends come to me for advice on THEIR gf because they SEE how WELL I have my relationship under control...bullshit my ass! We haven't had a fight in MONTHS!

Keep me from doing something stupid? Are you fucking kidding me?! I am this girl's LIFE!!!



Also, I talked to Troy and he said he hasn't talked to my gf in months...

I should note that every time I see her in person she's always lovey dovey and we have a great time just being with eachother.

So, &T, what the fuck is my bitch smoking, and why is she talking about me behind my back to her fucking professor...


.

Your girlfriend is lying to you, and she is talking behind your back.

Obviously, there is going to be heartbreak here soon.

She probably enjoys all the male attention she gets from her ex, her professor, and your friend. She is looking elsewhere for things you should be giving her. I mean come on, he is calling her sweetie and she is totally okay with that knowing about his feelings for her. WTF man wake the fuck up!!

Maybe your friend is lying to you too, or its a different guy all together that she never told you about.

No, he's always been like that. (her ex, that is) He's nuts, but a very nice guy. He has a gf who he adores now anyway.

And I give her PLENTY of fucking attention!

That's what's so fucking annoying!

Professors generally aren't supposed to have "personal" relationships with their students. Inappropriate.

__________________
We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet; and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Ask yourself something, Would YOU ever talk your a teacher or professor after school one on one if you didn't like them a lot or trust them?

She obviously likes him a lot if shes talking to him like this.

I think you should talk to her about it, just be like so I accidentally read you are talking to a professor about me? And or talk to the teacher and tell him to fuck off. I don't think professors are supposed to talk about private personal lifes with their students, it might be against their code of conduct...maybe get him fired...that might lead to your GF breaking up with you and going for him...fuck.

Do what you think is right.

Well, the guy is like 50 and married...my GF is 19. i really don't think she's attracted to him or anything like that...

I *DID* send him goatse for good measure, though. (anonymously) Posted it on his websites guest book. (which he checks religously)

Large size. Bam, baby.

And I realize that professors aren't supposed to have personal relationships, but at her school (music school) apparently all the professors are very friendly with the students, and they even hang out outside of school sometimes...(as a group)

WTF is that about...

I beg to differ.

She sounds a bit two-faced to me. I don't get why she'd get angry at you every time drugs come up, it's not like you're a drug baron or anything. Well, if she didn't want to be with you, I guess she wouldn't be. My advice would be to forget about it, but thats way unrealistic. So confront her and get really agressive about it, make sure it looks like you're on drugs at the time. This will solve everything.

Her 50 year old married professor is either getting or trying to get in her pants. This seems all bad. But it's true what aren't you supplying that she needs elsewhere. The not just yet comment would throw me over the edge though bro. Be ready for a breakup either way.

Did you check the time stamps on the e-mails?

This is going to sound bad.

I would do this:

Act like normal.

Just begin to internalize that you are going to break up.

Make a sex tape or something, for the fapping afterwards, (and to share on totse).

This girl is trouble, she is talking behind your back, could easily be involved in a very sketchy relationship with a professor (the only reason guys get involved in academia).

Remember your girl is going to break it off with you soon, I would act normal until then. In fact, try and hold off until Christmas. When X-mas comes, keep the loot and dump her. Of course don't get her anything.


This shit is over man, start getting used to it.

1) Set up an emotion "fail safe"...u might get hurt :S

2) Ur in a relationship with HER right? talk to HER about it, if ur very calm and talk about it the right way, maybe u can sort out all this shit.


alternatively if u REALLY badly don't wana do that.....slip some nutmeg in her drink

OHH, if she does the cooking, get her to make u something with a high amount of FRESH nutmeg XD then blame her for making u high :P

If you feel as angry as you say you do about this, clearly you need to show her that.

You may think that trying to avoid a "little problem" in order to not tarnish your wonderful relationship is a good idea, but that little problem is going to eat away at you, and it's going to get bigger.

Communication is the key, as they say.

professor is going to nail her.

Say what u want about Professors, Teachers and School Staff, but i get along pretty well with alot of the people who work at my school. U can a friendship with school staff...it's just kinda wierd :P

Call up the school, pose as her father who accidentally read those message and threaten legal action unless professor is fired.

This thread is gold. I love it when there's dirt

Let me tell you from experience, if you've invaded privacy there is no delicate way to handle the situation (can some one prove me wrong? Please do...). Sit her down, and go ape shit at her. Because when you try and talk calmly and rationally to her she will try to twist it on to you for invading her privacy, tell her shut her fuck hole. She'll try as hard as she can to change the topic off of her and on to you, that's when you tell her to stop being a little fucking 3 year old ADD faggot and pay attention to the topic at hand. That topic that she's talking about you behind your back.

Although you don't really have a reason to be angry at all. She's talking to her professor about relationship problems, probably because he's more mature than most people her age, and he offers good advice. If you found her flirting with her ex, that would be a different story.

But as far as I see it, you're making nothing into something. If she dumps you, celebrate by getting really fucked up and going over to her house at 3am telling her to come out/let you in. lolz will ensue.

Confront her. If you don't, your relationship will never be the same for you. This will eat at you constantly. Ask her what the fuck she's talking about with them. Doing what to you?

i agree, ur kinda over reacting.

But if u feel that strogly about it, just go and talk to her about it. Communication is the key

OP, I don't see why, if you've been together that long and your relationship is as good as you say it is...You can't just show her the messages you read and ask her about it?

I don't blame you for being mad, she really shouldn't be discussing relationship issues with her ex and professor. The professor sounds like a creep and the ex needs to stick to his own life and relationship. It'll be tough to confront her about it considering the way you came upon this info but you should discuss it with her.

I'd have to agree with the teachers from performing arts schools are closer with the students than public schools.

Because I used to go to a public school from yr 7 until year 10 and i auditioned and got into a performing arts school for guitar and singing for year 11 and 12.

The teachers at the performing arts school want to know everything about your life. While the public school teachers couldn't give a rats ass.

Not that it's important, but the professor doesn't really seem too interested in your gf at all. Look how she tries to talk him, then look at how he ends the conversation. Yeah, he did tell her to go to his office but that's just cause he doesn't want to put up with her bitching in his free time. All this is is your gf being an dumb bitch looking for drama. She probably wants to break up with you.

So start doing drugs again, chances are she'll take you back after a while, because you'll blame her. Say you saw her messages and it really upset you, She'll feel bad and do anal.

No, I'm pretty sure she hasn't. She only started drinking like 6 months ago.

Also, her grandpa and several friends\friend's parents have died from drug overdoses, so I can kinda see where she's coming from. Maybe. :P


This is what it all boils down to, I guess. We've never had this kind of issue before, so I'm just sticking it out and hoping it'll all blow over, because I don't want to bring it up and create an argument.

And yes, communication IS the key, but it's kind of an awkward situation to bring up...


"Hey hon? SO, i was checkin ur facebook inbox 4 u teh otherday..."

Eeesh.

Well, the reason I'm pissed off is because of two possible scenarios, each of with warrant some pissed-offness from me, IMO:

1. There really IS some kind of "bullshit" or "issues" for her about this relationship. In this case, I'm pissed at her because she has NEVER even attempted to tell me this. When we hang out she's always very mushy and lovey, and we'll go out and get a movie, some food, stay in, or we'll go out and end up trashing the neighbor with some capt morgan, and coming in and having AMAZING sex...UGH That's what kills me. I'm a really sensitive to girls' little signals. When she's upset about something but doesn't want to tell me, when she's guilty about something, etc. etc.

There's NONE of that!

The way she's acting, she's leading me to believe she's VERY satisfied with the relationship...

Makes it all very confusing.

Ok next scenario.

2. There is NO issues\BS, and she wants attention from other people. In this case, I'm mad because I think it's rather disrespectful to me and to the relationship to make shit up about it.





We hung out last night, just for like a half hour on her way home from school(we go to different colleges), and we had a great time. I just hugged her and she told me she loved me and this was the highlight of her day and my skin felt so good against hers, and she didn't want to go home ever, and all kinds of other sappy romantic shit that I go for.

I have no problem with her discussing relationship issues with other people, but I'd really prefer she LET ME FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THEM FIRST.

How the fuck am I supposed to bring this up to her if she's acting like everything is great?



EDIT: Last night she told me she's afraid to be alone with herself lately. Not really sure what that's supposed to mean. She has past history of depression, guys walking all over her, when she was like 13 she used to cut herself, bad relationship with her mom, etc.

Wait one minute.....I want pix.

OK, let me give you some perspective on what's probably going on in her head. I feel like I'm kind of guilty of the same thing your lady has done, but not to the same extent.
Anytime that I have a fight with my boyfriend, I go and I talk about it to whoever is willing to listen, and really, the situation gets exaggerated in the story A LOT, but a lot of the reason why is just so I can get the frustration out in a way that doesn't present more conflicts between us. Sometimes when girls are upset we jump to rash conclusions (i.e. dumping them) in the heat of the moment that we don't actually end up doing because once we calm down we realize that the relationship is genuinely in a good place and that we're over reacting.
I feel like both sides of the relationship kind of do this, but I mean you've just chosen to do so anonymously on a forum. Despite that, I'm sure if she found this and realized you were talking about her, she'd be upset that you didn't talk to her about it instead. You're both guilty of doing the same thing, you both talk behind each others backs about the relationship like there's an issue, but then when you get together you act like everything is normal.

How could I forget this?

Oh good. I guess I forgot how alcohol wasn't a drug. Stupid me...

This. Acolyte knows what she is talking about.

Uhhhmmm... its not quite the same, sister.

Until the OP mentioned the discovery of his girlfriend's emails, he didn't talk about this to anyone. His situation was just dandy, there wasn't any issue. Only now, after discovering the emails, is he forced to make a decision.

But my advice would be to abandon ship. If she has a history of depression, talking about not wanting to be alone. It seems like you are a major strut in which her homeostasis depends upon. Im not sure she actually cares for you, or just likes the idea of having someone there.

*hands over life ring*

Tell the stupid bitch that alcohol is a drug

OR you could tell the truth and avoid entangling the relationship in a web of lies, which always leads to the death of a relationship the fastest if you are looking to preserve it. It's just a good way to build a kind of negative tension that expresses itself in a destructive way.

I think that she would maybe have the idea of "Hey, my boyfriend has my password for my facebook, maybe he read my messages?" But I dunno, maybe not. I too think she kind of invited the possibility of you reading it, which if she threw that in your face, it would be fucking ridiculous. I feel like once you're in a relationship built on trust, privacy shouldn't really be that much of an issue, you shouldn't really feel like you have anything to hide from them in the first place. Especially when you have access to it that she has given you. Just come out and talk to her about it.

She knows that you have the password to her facebook, right? So if she were cheating she'd probably delete the e-mails to cover up her tracks. Not to underestimate it, but sometimes it's in how you read things. Asking if anything is wrong repeatedly[not at once, but everytime or every other time you see her] almost to to point of nagging. Be totally sure that nothing is wrong. Then, after she knows that you truly care about making the relationship the best it can be, check her e-mail(s) from time to time. It may be an invasion of her privacy, but it's for the better of the relationship. If the e-mails keep up, then she's fucking delusional and is creating problems for herself where they don't exist. If this is the case, leave her because she will have it in her mind that it will not work out and because of that fact, it won't.

yeah I second that, I have been in relationships in the past where I was so used to it not going my way that I just kind of went with the disposition that relationships are a hassle and that there's always something wrong that you kind of imagine the severity of your relationship problems to be way worse than they really are. This seriously happens a lot where a girl gets really pissed about something but don't confront them at first, then when they finally do, the dude has seriously no idea what they are even talking about. Let it be known that I was pretty inexperienced with relationships at that time.. I also blame PMS. As much as we hate to admit it(though not to use it as an excuse), it really clouds your judgment sometimes. ALSO not to say that all girls do this.

First of all:
What you are doing with totse is no different with her & Professor, in terms of bad communication.
The prof. is a bit of an idiot for talking to her about this. That is all.
Both of you need to talk, so do it. Tell her in 100% honesty what you think. Try not to let your emotional state change, which means don't get genuinely angry.
Don't let her turn the tables, when she says omg you read my messages, you can say yes I know, sorry. Then... If you are truly uncomfortable with her talking to her ex about her issues with you TELL HER. Seriously, don't pander around, relationships take work so put in the effort. Also tell her you wish that her and ex DO NOT talk about your relationship. Insist on it!

She says she can't tell when you're lying. You ruled out the thing that is the root of these problems!
Basically, she doesn't trust you completley ill complete this laterr......

stfu. I think you just did use it as an excuse.

If I ever beat/cheat on a chick. I'll be all "I blame testosterone. As much as we hate to admit it (though not to use it as an excuse), it really does make you want to get drunk, bash, kill and then rape everything in site sometimes. ALSO not to say that all guys do this."


Psssht, cunt.

Ok, S&A. I'm seeing her tonight, and I told her we had to talk last night so that I couldn't chicken out of talking about it tonight.

Troy COULDN'T have told her about anything drug related, because he honestly doesn't know.

And I don't think what I'm doing is the same, because this is an actual issue. Whatever she's talking to her ex and prof about, I'm in the fucking dark on that topic. For all I know she's making it up to get sympathy out of these people.


I really didn't want to confront her about it, but like some people here have mentioned I'm flipping out on her about really petty stuff, and it's probably just this whole deal just bubbling up to the surface. Plus then I feel bad for getting mad at her, ugh.

So we're going to talk, and I'm going to tell her the story of what happened pretty much identically to what you guys heard.

Then, I'm going to ask her point blank: "Are you still in this relationship or are you just waiting for it to end?"

And if she says no, I guess that means we're broken up.

Wish me luck, I guess...

she's probably going to lie and say everything is alright

You little bitch you posted my facebook messages on a public forum!?!

Um, I did say ALSO, not that I blame it entirely. We are human, hormones get to us sometimes, and it doesn't affect everyone in the same way. It is the truth. Just because a girl acts out because she's pmsing doesn't make it right, hence why I said it's no excuse.

So stfu. It's ridiculous that you would call me a cunt for making a statement that everyone knows is true. SCIENCE.

Good luck, if it doesn't work out, it's for the best, but if things do work out then I wish the best for you both.