What the fuck are you talking about? Stairs work the entire 9 months.

hahahaha where were you 7 months ago with this info?!

Yeah I'll talk to her today... Anyways, how did things end up for you?

i paid 478 dollars for an abortion. a total of 4 pills. but that was in southern california, where i assume it is more expensive. what id do is call planned parenthood and ask about their different types of abortion because i think your girl may be a little late for the pill

this is a bible for you right now man.
http://www.fwhc.org/abortion/abpill-compare-surgical.htm

it gets more expensive and dangerous the longer you wait. and the longer you wait the more expensive it gets.... good luck.



and just to let you know im way better off now rather than having an 8 month old fetus kickin around. and it was opposite with me i was with a 21 year old when i was 18, that took a bit of convincing :)

Too busy?! Jesus fucking Christ, she may be pregnant and she's too busy to go down the shop and get a couple pregnancy tests?!?! This is the possibility of spending life with a kid or getting surgery and feeling like sheet for a couple of weeks.
Fucking hell mate...She sounds like she's a couple rednecks short of a Klan meeting!

Buy the tests, give them to her and tell her to piss on them like a nun on lager...If they are positive, you get a paternity test because, seeing as you used a johnny and all, she may have been getting the good stuff from someone else.

DO THIS NOW!

Condoms work. If it wasn't torn to shreads when you pulled out, she probably got pregnant from some other dude. Go back to school, and keep wearing rubbers.

Wtf, I am so fucking confused... A condom's supposed to work, but dude she's a fucking month late, and I'm 100% certain she didn't screw no other guys. Not because I don't want her to, I just know she didn't. If she did I'd be a happy camper, but I know this girl very well. She's actually my ex who's had trouble getting over me. We hadn't had sex in over a year, but I got fucking horny and so did she, so we had sex. With a condom.

Anyways, I'll try and talk some sense into her. Fuck I'm getting scared.

Fucking idiot Priorities. Priorities. Priorities.

1. Pregnancy Test NOW only takes a few minutes...

2. If she is prego, is it yours??? The situation you described, particularly her being your ex and not having had sex with her for a year sounds very suspicious. In that time she could have done many things and people.

I know you guys keep saying that she's been elsewhere but seriously, she's dead in love with me and has been for a long time. We've kept in touch since it ended like 18 months ago, and I KNOW she ain't been elsewhere. The comdom must've leaked :(

Anyways, now I can't get a pregnancy test till monday :(

Edit: Oh and those abortion pills look really convenient. I wonder if I can get them here, I live in a pretty silly country.

Chemical abortions? Eww.

You should have checked the condom first, and if you fucked up used Plan B, that's what I did.

If the Condom didn't leak, she's not pregnant or cheating, no way it could be you.

You would have known if the condom broke. Or were you too fucking high/drunk to see the semen spilling all over the place when you pulled out?

If the condom didn't break and didn't have any holes, you didn't get her pregnant. It's as simple as that. Condom failure is from breakage, which isn't even that often if you store them properly and put them on correctly.

You are both retarded for not getting her a pregnancy test sooner.

If she actually is pregnant, and you didn't feel your semen dripping off your dick when you pulled out, she was having sex with other guys. You can claim that she isn't that kind of girl, but she was single for over a year. That means she was having sex with other guys, even if it was in an effort to get over you.

This is your checklist for tomorrow:
1. go buy 3 pregnancy tests
2. go to wherever she is
3. make her take them

If she's pregnant, arrange for a paternity test. They range from a few hundred to a couple thousand dollars.

Types of Paternity Testing:
Postnatal (after your child’s birth) DNA testing:
Blood collection and testing
Buccal swab (cheek swab) collection and testing
Umbilical cord collection and testing
Other sample collection and testing (semen, tissue, hair, etc.)

Prenatal (before your child’s birth) DNA testing:
Amniocentesis: This test is performed in the second trimester, anywhere from the 14th-20th weeks of pregnancy. During this procedure, the doctor uses ultrasound to guide a thin needle into your uterus, through your abdomen. The needle draws out a small amount of amniotic fluid, which is tested. Risks include a small chance of harming the baby and miscarriage. Other side effects may include cramping, leaking of amniotic fluid, and vaginal bleeding. A doctor's consent is needed to do this procedure for paternity testing.
Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS): This test consists of a thin needle or tube which a doctor inserts from the vagina, through the cervix, guided by an ultrasound, to obtain chorionic villi. Chorionic villi are little finger-like pieces of tissue attached to the wall of the uterus. The chorionic villi and the fetus come from the same fertilized egg, and have the same genetic makeup. This testing can be done earlier in pregnancy from the 10th-13th weeks. A doctor's consent is needed to do this procedure for paternity testing.

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions About Paternity Testing:
How soon can we start the testing process? DNA testing can be done as early as the end of the first trimester of pregnancy, starting in the 10th week by the CVS procedure.

Dude, she's fucking someone else. They all say they love you more than anything. One time fucking, wearing a condom does not make you pregnant. You paid enough attention to get the air out, but conveniently have no idea if it broke or leaked? That makes absolutely no sense. Don't make up stories that are bullshit that you believe yourself now.

fucking guy god damnit, fucking listen to my fucking ass. condoms work when used correctly. did you pinch and roll to base completely? did you pull out right after coming? did you keep fucking her afterwards? did you check the condom afterwards? did she feel wetter than usual? and condoms when used correctly arent even 97% effective meaning out of 100 times of sex, your sperm will escape more than 3 times. you are fucking up the more you dont talk to her. take some fucking responsibilty mother fuck and get that bitch a god damned test.

did you even look at any of the info i gave you? if not you deserve to raise a kid right now. and just to let you know if this shit goes down and you end up having the kiddo, there are government grants you can take advantage of. dont stress too much but you are really making me pissed by not taking the initiative and talking to the beez. you fucked up and are fucking up harder by not TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS. i mean fuck man, you know how many days in a row i was up after my pregnancy bullshit?
3. 3 days in a fucking row i was sitting in front of a computer, in a hot kitchen slavin, or in front of a bong. get your ass on your shit fool because youre just digging your own grave putting it off getting "scared"

Pregnancy test followed by paternity test. Though, I hate to think of what complete fuckup the guy she was screwing must be to make you look like the better one to trap into fatherhood.

You would have known if the condom broke. Or were you too fucking high/drunk to see the semen spilling all over the place when you pulled out? no you fucking idiot sometimes you cant tell if it is just a regular condom, the only time you really feel it break if if its a tight condom (ie extended pleasures.) unless she says something about being too wet then you have no way of knowing without checking the condom, which many dont do.

If the condom didn't break and didn't have any holes, you didn't get her pregnant. It's as simple as that. Condom failure is from breakage, which isn't even that often if you store them properly and put them on correctly. stupid stupid stupid. this is completely untrue because there are many different possibilities for a condom to fail. just the way they are made can make them bunk.

You are both retarded for not getting her a pregnancy test sooner.yes

If she actually is pregnant, and you didn't feel your semen dripping off your dick when you pulled out, she was having sex with other guys. You can claim that she isn't that kind of girl, but she was single for over a year. That means she was having sex with other guys, even if it was in an effort to get over you.
can you really tell the difference when the condom is lubricated? and its obvious unless she fucked someone right after him, its homeboy.

Thanks for all the great advice guys and sorry for not listening better. I've tried talking to her, but she's not listening. Apparently we're past the whole pillabortion option anyways and she's working on this big school project and wants to be able to focus. Yeah I know, fucking stupid bitch.

Anyways, I didn't check if it broke, but I'm pretty sure there was no serious leakage. But shit, it did feel really good and it may have been cos she felt extra wet, I can't really remember. But I did come kinda early cos we were doing it doggy style, her just riding back and forth and I told her to stop because I didn't wanna come yet, but she kept going. So I assume it felt really good for her as well, probably not a good sign.

Okay here's the question you're all gonna hate me for. Please go easy on me. But does it really make a difference if we wait for the 13th to get a test? If pills are out of the question and a regular abortion is our only option. Fuck I can see how stupid this question is just writing it, but if I can just get an answer I can pass on to the girl, that'd be great.

no you fucking idiot sometimes you cant tell if it is just a regular condom, the only time you really feel it break if if its a tight condom (ie extended pleasures.) unless she says something about being too wet then you have no way of knowing without checking the condom, which many dont do.

stupid stupid stupid. this is completely untrue because there are many different possibilities for a condom to fail. just the way they are made can make them bunk.

yes


can you really tell the difference when the condom is lubricated? and its obvious unless she fucked someone right after him, its homeboy.

You can feel when they break if you actually pay attention to what your dick is feeling. Also, if they break the semen drips out when you pull out. It's kind of noticeable: is semen dripping everywhere or not?

Obviously condoms can fail for a number of reasons, but most of the time guys don't put them on properly or there isn't enough lube so they break. If you put it on right, semen is not going to spill out and it will not break. If neither of those two things happen, there is no chance of pregnancy.

Yeah I can tell the difference between condom sex and condom-less sex. It's a huge difference. If you feel next to nothing then all of a sudden everything feels wet and wonderful, the condom broke. If you continue to fuck and ejaculate inside her, you would know when the semen dripped everywhere instead of staying in the condom like it's supposed to. Seriously, it's not that hard to figure it out unless the tear was ridiculously small, which usually isn't the case.

BLACKSAILS, GET THE BITCH A PREGNANCY TEST TO-FUCKING-DAY. Stop listening to her bullshit. Go to the goddamned fucking store and buy 3 motherfucking pregnancy tests and make the stupid cunt take them. It'll take less than 20 minutes. Do it fucking now. The longer you wait the worse the abortion procedure gets and the more she'll try to fuck you over and keep it. Get her tested immediately. Today. Now. Get the fuck off totse and do it now. If the bitch won't do it, it's because she's lying to you. She's not pregnant. She's trying to trap you into a relationship or something. Get her tested NOW.

I always thought black sails was gay

"I don't want to worry about this right now." You need to fucking leave this girl. Or at minimum, threaten to leave if she won't take a test with you present. She's showing complete disregard for your concerns. What a fucking bitch. All for her precious project. Retarded whore.

Your girlfriend is a tremendous retard. Congratulations on that.

BLACKSAILS, GET THE BITCH A PREGNANCY TEST TO-FUCKING-DAY. Stop listening to her bullshit. Go to the goddamned fucking store and buy 3 motherfucking pregnancy tests and make the stupid cunt take them. It'll take less than 20 minutes. Do it fucking now. The longer you wait the worse the abortion procedure gets and the more she'll try to fuck you over and keep it. Get her tested immediately. Today. Now. Get the fuck off totse and do it now. If the bitch won't do it, it's because she's lying to you. She's not pregnant. She's trying to trap you into a relationship or something. Get her tested NOW.

This.

Let this guy deal with his own stupid fucking problems. He keeps listening to her stupid shit about waiting, and not using common sense. If you don't force her to take that test now, then you deserve to fuck up your life for being so stupid.

how in the FUCK CAN THIS BITCH BE STUDYING!!!? dude, fuck the abortion, just shoot her in the fucking head.
and fanglekai

touche.

if she keeps avoiding the test ill start getting the feeling that shes lying to you about missing her period. she may just be trying to keep you around, because you know, dumb bitches do that nowadays.

I really want to know what happened.

Me too.

If you used a condom, ITS NOT YOURS!

OP, she's probably just fucking with you... Women love to do that

If not, keep the kid.

or if all else fails.....
Falcon Punch.
NUFF SAID.

This is the only solution

OP, fuck you. You're either fucking retarded, a fucking wimp, or a troll.

In either case, fuck you.

"You know her extremely well"

Bullshit. I know heaps of girls who i thought would never be a slutty bitch, and guess what. they were.

Do one of the following;

1. Join the FFL. Good pay, changed name, whatever
2. Pregnancy test
3. Murder/suicide
4. Inject a massive dose of heroin into her, then she will O.D. No proof it was you. No more baby.

But this is your problem, so deal with it. Everyone gave you advice, your obviously too much of a cocksucker to realize she's probably sleeping with someone else. Stop blaming everything else, and kill the bitch. Now.

Fuuuck, she hasn't taken the fucking test yet!

No, this is not trolling. I am going out of my fucking mind and suppose I'll have to proceed to drastic measures pretty soon. How can I steal her piss...

And yeah sorry for keeping you waiting guys. I sorta hoped you'd forgotten the thread, again :/

Edit: Yeah also I'm a wimp and a retard, I have no problem admitting that.

Is it so difficult to get the damn test, get to her place, and tell her to take the test right there and then?

You're a man, use your cojones.

Okay, once again it's gonna seem wimpy but... The only nearby place where I can get a test is at a pharmacy where my brothers sister works. I'm not nearly comfortable enough with her to risk buying it from her, as she and my brother are sorta religious.

After that, the closest place is an hour away and it's really hard to get time off from work right now. I work at a computer store, we're just 2 guys and obviously there's a lot to do this time of year. Since she's in school, I figured she might as well go and buy the test. But on saturday, when she was finally supposed to get it, she freaked and didn't do it. Sunday the pharmacies were closed, today she just didn't do it. But I've been a naggy asshole today about all kinds of shit, so I think she'll do it tomorrow, just to get rid of me.

The only nearby place where I can get a test is at a pharmacy where my brothers sister works.

Doesn't that make her your sister as well?

Doesn't that make her your sister as well?

Err, my brother's wife! Silly me...

Basically you're are being a defeatist pussy.

Stop complaining we can't help you anymore your problem has been stated, and the solution is such:


You're a man, use your cojones.

FUCK a PREGNANCY TEST GET A DNA TEST

Hmm... she couldnt get over you even though you were broken up over a year... you fucked her once with a condom.... now oh noes, shes the preggorz, and wont take a fuckin test.

Open your eyes, its a trap.

Oh, and btw, when she finally does take a test, be right fuckin there to see it, cause she could pull this shit for 2 more months, claim a fuckin miscarriage, and have successfully emotionally trapped your ass.


Ex's are ex's for a fuckin reason.

Speaking of traps: OP, how did you dispose of the condom?

Here's what I would do if I were you:

1. Pregnancy test. If not pregnant, yay. If yes, go to next step.
2. Abortion. Either your moral qualms about killing an unborn human outweigh the impending loss of a young, care-free life, or they don't. Only you can make this decision. Assuming you refuse to abort, go to next step.
3. Run away, preferably to a country/place where you will not be tracked down and forced to pay child support. Rationale? The girl is 18 and as such I expect her to be able to take care of her offspring. I do not believe that men are morally obligated to raise the kid/s they sired. If you disagree with me, then I guess you WILL be raising the kid.

Because she's a nut(1). She's working on her biggest assignment in High School and she's really really worried(2) about her grades, cos school hasn't been going as well as she hoped. This assignment is a really big deal and if she had a baby on her mind, she'd never be able to finish it.(3)

1. Obviously. Anyone who is "really upset" yet refuses to pee on a stick and wait two minutes instead of putting it off and freaking out is obviously insane.

2. STRESS CAN MAKE YOU SKIP YOUR PERIOD.

Regulation of menstrual periods is controlled by a complex hormonal balance. Likewise, the body's reaction to stress involves changes in the levels of many hormones. Because it affects hormone balance and many other processes in the body, psychological stress can also interfere with the menstrual cycle. In fact, stress is considered to be a common cause of missed or late menstrual periods.
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=78741
The interweb. Use it.

3. That makes no fucking sense. She would worry about it a hell of a lot more is she didn't know, than if she did. Refer back to 1.

Well guys... She took a test and it came out negative. But she only took one test, so I'm pretty much not convinced and feel very little relief. If I'm unlucky enough to be one of the 2% who has a condom fail on them, I'm sure I'd also be among the percentage that gets cheated by a pregnancy test.

But man, if we're not pregnant... I am so fucking getting drunk this weekend. Well I get pretty drunk every weekend, maybe I'll just make sure I pass out this time. Also I'm gonna have to find a way to end things with my ex :(

It will be a great ending to the story if you get drunk, pass out, and while you're unconscious, your girl jerks you off and impregnates herself.

It will be a great ending to the story if you get drunk, pass out, and while you're unconscious, your girl jerks you off and impregnates herself.

Wanna come over and drink agent??

Wanna come over and drink agent??

If I came over, I don't think drinking till I pass out would be on top of my agenda.

If I came over, I don't think drinking till I pass out would be on top of my agenda.

Yeah, it would probably be "good god, what did i just spend on that plane ticket?!?"

tehe

Dude, you're fine. If it came back negative, you're not going to be a father. This was a total ploy to fuck with you. Why do you you refuse even the possibility?

this, unless you fucked up pretty bad
4 weeks. why do you have to ask.

also, if worst comes to worst, you could always do the abortion on the sly, she sounds old enough to get one without parental permission.
other than that, adoption.
but it is certainly not yours. if she is pregnant, and its not yours, serves her right for being a slut

rape her really hard, think of your penis as a blender, i do. hello wan.

you surprise me. you do.

you surprise me. you do.

i read that girls like spontaneous guys so im using every trick in the book to win you over.

Case solved.
Sometimes I wonder if you want a child, judging by the way you won't accept the proof as an answer.

Welcome to the land of the free again.

Edit: Read on, not pregnant. You can ignore my post, but I'll leave it here in case you want to read it anyways.

Silverfuck and this guy are the only two posters respected thus far.

What the hell is wrong with having an unexpected kid? What, you think your dad wanted, or was even ready for you? Fuck no he wasn't! Man up, cool shit's starting to happen in your life. Seriously, all these guys telling you to be all worried and paranoid are emotionally crippled and definitely in no position to give ANYBODY advice on life.

Sit back, relax, and let the situation play out. Support the girl in getting the pregnancy test. If she is, do not suggest abortion...that's a major asshole move. Just support her and any decision she makes regarding the pregnancy. After the kid's born, ask your folks for any suggestions whenever you're overwhelmed and just roll with life. This isn't a bad thing. In fact, if it weren't for this kind of thing, you wouldn't exist. Just chill out. Life is not over.

Oh, and Steven Tyler, one of the greatest rockers ever, has one of the hottest daughters ever. I only hope you're not as ugly as him, though...for your girlfriend's sake.

Dude, CHILL.
Really.
You're good.

I told you to buy 3. Why the fuck didn't you listen to me?

Update.

She's obviously not pregnant. Update blacksails?

Don't be a dick and continue to leave us in the cold on this one.

Well sorry for the lack of updates, shit got real dramatic with other stuff going on in the relationship as well.

Aanyways, she took 2 tests and both were negative. She's also not fat yet, so that's nice. She hasn't mentioned anything about a period yet, but hopefully I'm still off the hook?

On another negative note, she did get over me. Sadly, she did it without telling me, so I'd still hang out with her and yadayada... And after some days of really getting along, making out and shit, I find out she's been with another guy. No fucking as far as I know, but it still kinda hurt.

What a stupid bitch. Delete her from your life immediately.

ell that guy you fucked her and she may be pregnant with your kid. He'll be gone and you get revenge.

A good question is why didn't you believe us? Even after a negative test, you still believed she was pregnant. You also KNEW she wasn't cheating on you. You got tore up and spit out because of your inaction and inability to control the situation. Do you learn from this, or do you continue to make the same mistakes over and over again? It's really up to you.

Bah, I know I didn't listen well enough. But I'm still pretty sure she hasn't screwed any other guy, just made out. Also I did put pressure on her to get that test, because you guys told me to and I really interrogated her about any other guys. So yeah, sorry for not listening better, but I didn't totally turn my deaf ear. Also thanks for the concern and shit, you guys were great.

The saddest thing, is that I talked about how my life would change and stuff after this. I think that feeling's gone :(

You're in the driver's seat. There's truly no rules to this game other than the ones you accept for yourself. Live it how you will. Time is slowly slipping through your fingers.