I'm a freshmen at college and have been living in the dorms since the semester started. And here I am up at 4 in the morning in the lounge on my laptop because I can't fall asleep. The reason?? My fucking roommate smells like complete and total ass!! Oh my fucking god its unbearable to even be in there. It seriously has not been this bad this entire semester, it seems like this greasy fuck has not taken a shower over the entire thanksgiving break!!

Seriously how fucking hard it is to not smell like shit??? I have noticed the smell earlier in the year, I would usually either spray mass amounts of axe/oust and open the windows but its too fucking cold for that and I'm out of spray. When I have aired out the room and/or he hasn't been there in a while the room smells fine since I know how to take a shower. But the second he gets back this god awful smell permeates the room and leaves the stench there forever.

Also he is messy as fuck. He leaves his dirty clothes all over the fucking floor on his side of the room. He's a fucking douche bag who can't seem to be cool at all. God dammit I hate this smelly fucker, I have class in the morning and I can't fucking fall asleep! I am gonna have a serious talk with him in the morning about this cause this is just fucking ridiculous. Fuck this smelly ass stupid fuck.

You should leave soap and shampoo for him with a note that says "Clean up, you smelly fuck."

this

give him a handjob

now how is that gonna help, if anything it will just add the smell of dirty sex to the mix.

OP after he is in the room a few minutes start sniffing and go what the hell is that smell. Hopefully he will get the hint

Spray some raid on him.

Take a piss on him to neutralise the odour.

lol! I was laughing so hard in the library the girl next to me gave me a dirty look.

You room-mate smells like shit because he is genetically inferior.

I suggest dumping foamy soap water on him while he sleeps. It will get the message across.

Well I have now tried to send the message by spraying some extra strength febreze I got yesterday. everytime he walks in the room and at night. It is set up right next to my bed so in the middle of the night once it wears off I can spray more. FUCK THIS KID.

Just ask him when the last time he took a shower was- that's a pretty strong hint.

This.

You can only me polite and/or "politically correct" to a certain point.

Is political-correctness really an option when dealing with a motherfucker who is foreign to the concept of soap?

I had a roommate like that back in college. He actually had a girlfriend, granted both were fat, and he literally took showers less than a minute long if he bothered. He had his dirty, shit-stained underwear stuffed so far into the corner that two chairs beside one another became a dirty laundry couch.

I had to stop bringing girls back- they were repulsed five feet when the door opened. I tried air sanitizers, powders, spay-on deoderants, detergents, etc. Everything.

This guy just cultured yeast in his fat all day, sat around in his boxers (a couple buddies though he was naked when he had a plate in his lap). He also had phone sex while I was in the room, in his bed. He kind of washed the bedding ONCE in a year. People would walk up to me in the hall and tell me they wanted me to fix the room, begging. They asked why I was never around (it was a great excuse to meet girls and hang out, surprisingly. "Hi. Yeah, my roommate smells like shit. Hang out? Sure. Nice room.") and I actually started dating a girl solely so that I could live in her place. It was sad. There were literal plots to end this roommate's life in the works, I hear.

Ah, college. Such fond memories.

Lol, at least I don't have it that bad. I think I would flip shit on my roommate and/or move out because there would be NO WAY I would put up with that for 2 semesters.

Good god, if there's one thing I hate it's smelly fuckers. I'm surprized this guy could even get into college when he doesn't even have enough brains to take a shower. My sympathy goes out to you. You should tell him to take a fucking shower or try to get a switch in dorm rooms. That shit sounds unbearable.

I was in a similar situation Thanksgiving weekend when my little cousin who's eleven (and imfamous for shitting his pants ) stayed with me during Thanksgiving and I had to ride in the car with him all the way back to town and the stench was unbearable. I could smell the shit in that kid's pants all the way from the front seat and everywhere he sat and touched reeked of shit. I'd never been so glad to get back home in my life.