So I met a local girl online the other night. She was nice, attractive, and into me. We talked for a few hours, exchanged some pics, and it became apparent she found me attractive. We talked about sex and whatnot, then cybered. She followed up by giving me her phone number. Basically, I have a very real chance of hooking up with this girl.

The problem is I've never done anything like this before. No relationships, no flirting, no erotic sex talk, none of this. I felt extremely elated at the end of it. That elation is what bothered me; I felt something primal awakening in my psyche. And for the first time I understood the motivation of my fellow males, why they focus so much on appearing good and acting suave. Why guys pick up slutty chicks at bars and complain about dry spells. It's not a matter of rational decision making; it's a primal necessity. I understood why many of the greatest scientists, philosophers, and artists lived celibate lives. Once you submit to that desire, you sacrifice a higher part of your consciousness and replace it with primal instinct.

It also creates a need. I thought I felt loneliness before, but now I realized that if I have a relationship, then lose it, the loneliness won't be what I experience now. It will be a hundred times worse. If I have sex, it'll only be a matter of time until the relationship ends. Then I will have to find someone new. It will be a need, a need that I don't currently feel. I know that if I have sex with this girl, I will not only want to do it again, but need to do it again. I'll experience a desire for sex like I've never experienced before, and quite possibly succumb to the irrational pursuit of pussy most males follow.

If I choose to remain celibate, that need will never exist for me. As it stands now, I'm completely independent. I don't need human interaction for any kind of pleasure. It's been almost two months since I've even spent any time with a friend. And I'm fine. I entertain myself well. But if I get a real hunger for sex, for once in my life I will have a need that I cannot satisfy on my own, and that frightens me a great deal.

I don't really know what discussion can come from this. I imagine those of you that are sexual won't understand, but I thought I'd see if anyone here has any idea what I'm talking about.

You're just a faggot.

You're just a faggot.

*places hands on hips*
Whatever! :o

Become a monk.

So what, did you "accidentally" meat a local girl online, and then started cybering with her out of sheer boredom?

You already have a sexual drive, and you already want a realtionship. Doing it online is like drinking decaf coffee or non-alcoholic beer. It's self-deception.

It doesn't need to consume your life. You can allocate as much time to it as you want. It's not unusual to only meet up with a girl you're interested it once a week.

You say a lot of scientists, philosophers and artists were celibate. I'm not sure that's exactly true - but I tell you what, they were not exactly happy either.


I am somewhat like you - rarely talk to people, like being independent and on my own. But I also realize, that in the end, it's all worthless without other people. What difference does all the progress I make do, if there is nobody to appreciate it? Why are you still going, and where do you want to be?
Independence is good, but use it to your advantage. Don't aim to be one of those guys that just hang out in some crowd with people they don't like, and just kinda follow with whatever they decide to do. Build yourself to be the leader - both physically and mentally.

Agent 008 for super mod, please.

If you really want to and have the discipline to do it go for it. Maybe someone you really have a connection with may come along, then you can give it up if it feels right.

How will that someone come along, if he spends most of the time on his own, and fights any feelings of affection that he gets? Especially since he's a bloke, and guys generally need to make the first move.

Not focusing on seeking a partner when you have other problems to sort out and other areas that you feel you need improvement in is fine. But eventually you have to sort out this area of your life as well. Luckily, sorting out other areas of your life will give you the confidence and the skills that will make it A LOT easier.

How will that someone come along, if he spends most of the time on his own, and fights any feelings of affection that he gets? Especially since he's a bloke, and guys generally need to make the first move.

Not focusing on seeking a partner when you have other problems to sort out and other areas that you feel you need improvement in is fine. But eventually you have to sort out this area of your life as well. Luckily, sorting out other areas of your life will give you the confidence and the skills that will make it A LOT easier.

At work or some shit.

If you have already begun having these urges, why not pursue them. You won't necessarily have to devote your life to relationships and sex. Once you do have an emotional connection with someone you will probably experience feelings that you hadn't previously. And when it's over you will feel a despair like never before. That doesn't mean you should strive to remain celibate. Instead being in a relationship can help you grow as an individual, it can give you a clearer vision of your faults and qualities. You learn how to sustain a relationship and analyze your mistakes so you won't repeat them in the next relationship.
I think you should meet with this person you have met online so you can at least interact with someone. I highly doubt you really want to remain celibate for life.

I don't understand why you need to do this... Do you really feel that you are so weak minded that you will let a desire for sex consume your life?

You said that you've never done anything like this before. Are you sure that you are not just so scared of rejection that instead of admitting that to yourself you are willing to go as far as becoming celibate?

Just think about the Beatles, "all you need is love."

But seriously, I found I had a weaker sex drive after having it than before, just because it didn't seem as big a deal afterwards.

You sound like a total sociopath.

Isaac Newton.

Newton, in contrast, was walking proof that one path to immortality, assuming you have the requisite endowment of brains, is to obsess. Ninety percent of what he obsessed about--alchemy, biblical prophecy, and religious disputations were among his lifelong passions--was rubbish. The other ten percent, the stuff he did for laughs, I suppose we might say, took six thousand years of disjointed fumbling and made it into a science. Two sciences, actually, physics and to a large extent mathematics.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/957/was-isaac-newton-a-virgin

http://www.physics.wustl.edu/~alford/newton.html
http://books.google.com/books?id=kRXuiqrgY0EC&pg=PA18&lpg=PA18&dq=isaac+newton+virgin&source=bl&ots=9yoeOw9wNo&sig=qqmo_LFljcK1yv6LgJS9gKHIz1A&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=11&ct=result

Turns out Newton was kind of crazy, and he obsessed over Alchemy and the bible, thus wasting most of his life on shit when he could have been fucking instead.

Sex FTW!