TL/DR at the end

So my girl and I had a long chat yesterday, first serious one in ages. With all the shit happening in Mumbai all her flights were canceled and she's stuck in Kathmandu. So the little voice inside that's been nagging at me finally made me snap. Basically I'm thinking "WHY THE FUCK GET BACK WITH HER?" she cheated over a year ago, and she still lies. She made some promises to me before we broke up, that I didn't entirely expect her to keep, but when I asked if she did keep them she lied and said yes. I found out from other people that she didn't. I asked her if she wanted to get her promiscuity out of the way now, while on holiday (as I did), and when she gets back it's srs bizinez. She responded with this shit "I'm not going to, fuck what else can I say to reassure you? I love you and I want you. Fuck you're being unreasonable, we'll talk when you've cooled off then" and then she logged off.

Well I didn't cool off, I didn't sleep and have been stewing on this all night and now I'm just convinced I've fucked up by deciding to get back with her. When it comes to love I'm an idealist and I'd like to think people change, that when a relationship gets hard and you wonder why you do it, all you need is love. But realism is kicking in, and fuck.

Do I wait to break up with her till she gets home? Break up now? Wait till she gets back and give her a chance? The thing is I don't trust her, and unless I invade her privacy I'll never know if I'm right/wrong. On the surface everything could seem fine but she could be dodgy and the only way I'd know is by being sly, something I don't want to do. I want to be able to have faith in a person, but that wont be happening for a looong time. I've been sooo fucking excited to have her back...but trust issues are so crippling.

GRAAH...sorry for making another thread. Just confused as fuck. What would you do?

TL/DR I should murder/suicide.

You need to be beating the shit out of her everytime she does something wrong or just get rid of her.

You do know that there are SOoooooooo many other girls out there, ones that won't cheat on you or lie to you?

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Yes people do mature over time, but that's in years/decades.

My advice to you is: MOVE ON

Whether you decide to break up with her or not, you need to just get over the past cheating that she did. You're only hurting yourself by dwelling on it.
To be honest, though, I would just end it with her once and for all. This situation has been freaking you out for far too long.

Yeah end it when she gets back or now?

Go find something to distract you. Throw yourself into something new. Learn a new skill, build upon an old skill. Shift your focus.

You don't need to be worrying about this right now. You can't do anything to effect the outcome. You care about her, you want things to work. Leave well-enough alone.

It sounds like she's offered you all that she can; it's on your shoulders now. Put the burden down and find something else to occupy yourself.

Depends.

How long until she gets back?

I would end it, and I would wait until she gets back.

Ok, think forward for a moment.

What, realistically, happens if you break up? How is it different from staying with her while the two of you are separated?

Do you want her to be a part of your life? Are you going to cut her out of your life?

Man, you knew this was going to happen.
Just break up with her now, it's not like you've seen each other since you started dating again anyway. Better to start fresh with someone new than know you're going to rehash all the same problems over again.

A little more than two weeks. Because of the terrorist attacks and shit she's extending her trip. The thing that brought this all on is that I thought I'd preemptively end things before she meets up with her slutty friend in Thailand. Her friends don't like me, pretentious indie fucks.

Ok, think forward for a moment.

What, realistically, happens if you break up? How is it different from staying with her while the two of you are separated?

Do you want her to be a part of your life? Are you going to cut her out of your life?

Yes I want her a part of my life. She's an awesome friend, because she's loyal as fuck friendship wise. But relationship wise, not so much.

If we break up, we stay friends who possibly have sex, till we can't handle the jealousy/mistrust. Then the shit hits the fan and we probably don't speak for a long time. I'll leave the country the second I have the casholas.

If we don't break up, we're just going to keep going as best friends who are also lovers till we can't handle the jealousy/mistrust. Then the shit hits the fan and we don't speak for ages as I leave the country once I have the money.

Thanks Euda. Always illuminating. As much as I want friendship, it's unrealistic to expect it.

I hope it's not my fault *psst nepal is infamous for....*

If you feel this way now. The chances are, you will feel this way all over again.


I'd recommend break her up and move on.

However, if you don't wanna to break her up. You might want to scoop her shit around for a bit without her knowing it. Ya know....just make sure that she actually meant it. I know it's straight up invading her privacy, but eh she's the one who cheated on you.

Think about it...is this girl you really wanna spend your life with?

Do you think she's feeling guilty for lying? Does she hurt the way you hurt? Is she worth the agony you feel?

The answer to all three questions is most likely, "no."

You have a vicious habit with this girl, and it's not healthy for you, emotionally or physically. However, you may want to give it a shot one last time. One more fix before you kick the habit, so you know you aren't missing anything.

Think about it...is this girl you really wanna spend your life with?

If she would be honest, yes, I'd want her to be the mother of my children and spend my life with her. It's just basing that on an 'if' that is currently not likely going to happen is basically a "no".

haha and no...I stand by my point of Nepali men being ugly. Search in google images "Nepali man". You'll see what I mean It's Thailand that worries me because it's become the party ground of every nationality. Trashy tourism.

However, you may want to give it a shot one last time. One more fix before you kick the habit, so you know you aren't missing anything.

I should probably just start a full blown heroin habit. It'd be less destructive to my health.

From personal experience I say lose the bitch. The constant worrying and wondering who she is fucking now, just isn't worth it man. Move on, find someone worth your time. Find a girl you don't have to worry about.

I should probably just start a full blown heroin habit. It'd be less destructive to my health.

Love does the same thing to your brain as a cocaine addiction. Withdrawal from either apparently activates the same areas of the brain. Ouch.

You know that her fucking other people bothers you. It doesn't make much sense to start fucking tons of other people before you get back together. That's a terrible way to begin a relationship. It's already eating you inside. Imagine how you'll feel when you're actually in a relationship with her. After reading this thread, I don't think it'll work out. I don't know, obviously, so just do whatever will make you happiest. Be selfish, if necessary.

A little more than two weeks. Because of the terrorist attacks and shit she's extending her trip. The thing that brought this all on is that I thought I'd preemptively end things before she meets up with her slutty friend in Thailand. Her friends don't like me, pretentious indie fucks.

You're an indie fuck too, based on your fashion/music taste.

Though I don't know about pretentious, which is probably why they hate you.

You're an indie fuck too, based on your fashion/music taste.

Though I don't know about pretentious, which is probably why they hate you.

Naw. They're all socialites, and they probably want her to have a dude that's part of the scene. I may be indie, but apart from her I do not know another indie person. I like to mix it up.

Oh well, thanks guys. I'm thinking about how I'm going to break it to her. We have a usual routine. That's me realizing we shouldn't be together, her seducing me, us having incredibly good sex, us questioning if maybe there still is hope, then getting back together.

Must....not....have sex..... :(

You are creating needless drama in your life with this situation. I swear I know this woman here in Georgia who is EXACTLY like you. She is always calling me and freaking out about everything when there are simple solutions to her problems right in front of her. My shrink says she probably has a "Histronic personality disorder." It's something you should think about, Arquin.

Find a new friend. Stop worrying about your ex and her slutty friend. Remember that extremely effeminete guy she was cheating on you with. Remember that she continues to lie to you even now. Why is this even an issue with you?

Your husband cheated on you and you went back to him, after what some would call "months of drama". So obviously you believe in second chances and also that some things are worth hard work.

Also I don't remember an effeminate dude, the dude she cheated with was the epitome of an alpha male if there is such a thing. And about the histrionic thing, you couldn't be more wrong. The simple solution you speak of is getting rid of my best friend. Surely you can remember me mentioning how important loyalty is to me. Just ditching some one I've come to love (be it a friend or lover) is going against all my morals, everything I've believed in and placed importance on in this world.

Oh well, you are right about one thing: this has gone on too long. I've got my insight. We can let the thread die now.

Shes a bitch, your cool.

/End Story.

Dump her ass, and come and meet me.

Lotsofmanx@Hotmail.com <3 add me you... PERSON! :D < c wht i did thar?

Naw. They're all socialites, and they probably want her to have a dude that's part of the scene. I may be indie, but apart from her I do not know another indie person. I like to mix it up.

Oh well, thanks guys. I'm thinking about how I'm going to break it to her. We have a usual routine. That's me realizing we shouldn't be together, her seducing me, us having incredibly good sex, us questioning if maybe there still is hope, then getting back together.

Must....not....have sex..... :(

"The Scene" oh god. Look at what you're doing to yourself man, if you can be called a man.

Your husband cheated on you and you went back to him, after what some would call "months of drama". So obviously you believe in second chances and also that some things are worth hard work.

Also I don't remember an effeminate dude, the dude she cheated with was the epitome of an alpha male if there is such a thing. And about the histrionic thing, you couldn't be more wrong. The simple solution you speak of is getting rid of my best friend. Surely you can remember me mentioning how important loyalty is to me. Just ditching some one I've come to love (be it a friend or lover) is going against all my morals, everything I've believed in and placed importance on in this world.

Oh well, you are right about one thing: this has gone on too long. I've got my insight. We can let the thread die now.

I seem to remember you posting a picture of him where he was wearing man liner and an extremely...un manly shirt?

I wouldn't have taken my husband back if we'd been just dating. I just happen to not believe in divorce, so I pretty much had to work things out with him. If he cheated on me again, though, I wouldn't take him back. I believe in my personal dignity more than I believe in the sanctity of marraige.

And you said this chick is still lying to you, so I guess she hasn't changed that much. And she's not loyal to you even as a friend if she continues to LIE.

Stay away from the toxic ladies, arquin!

There's only a certain amount of crazy and bullshit a person can deal with. It varies for people. Clearly this girl is too much (and it sounds like she'd be too much for anyone) so find one with less crazy. It can't be that hard. We're not all completely mental.

Good luck.









And PS: i told you so! :(

We're not all completely mental.

Fine...lets run away together!?

Fine...lets run away together!?

To a tropical paradise?!?!

To a tropical paradise?!?!

I could give you directions to a nice spot in Costa Rica, if you'd like. I suggest you fly to San José, buy a bus ticket to Puntarenas, buy a ferry ticket to Paquera, and buy a bus ticket for Montezuma. There's a beach there that's literally a mile long, and it's empty.

It's always the women that say you should throw away a relationship; unless it's reasonless or meaningless. One of the first things I ever learned about taking advice from women was to temper it with the fact that, in general, girls don't like one another. There's always something when there's a guy they have an interest in, romantic or otherwise, is involved.

Good luck, whatever path you choose.

To a tropical paradise?!?!

You bring your puppy, I'll bring whiskey...you thinking what I'm thinking? We get your puppy steaming drunk.

And Euda, she really wants us to work. I'll see what happens when she gets back. And you're right, women generally don't like each other. Just to give my currently deflating ego some well needed inflation, I'll pretend all the girls telling me to break up are doing it because they want me ...and it has nothing to do with her being crazy and a liar :( :( :(

Just to give my currently deflating ego some well needed inflation, I'll pretend all the girls telling me to break up are doing it because they want me ...and it has nothing to do with her being crazy and a liar :( :( :(

I thought you might like that part. :p

pretentious indie fucks.

fucking indies.

if you want my advice as an outsider, you should just end it.. possibly after she gets back, although that'll just make it harder to do something that you really need to get done to move on with your life.. so maybe before she gets back?

if you want my advice from your perspective, i'd probably stay with her till she got back to see how i feel about the whole situation... only then i would've taken one look at her after she got back and been unable to leave... meaning you're fucked if you can't trust her.

so uh.. food for thought?