Serious question, for the life of me I can't find out how to buy stocks. What process do I have to go through to get stocks?

go to e trade you can buy stocks from china with 1 click

Ask a broker. Use yellow pages.

Only brokers can trade on the stock exchange. Everyone must buy and sell through a broker. However you own the shares.

I just started to look into short to mid term portfolio options within CIBC. Im still researching it. Anyone have any expereinces with their portfolio options? Or can think of other banks or financial institutions who could out do CIBC.

I'm just getting into investing for the first time, not one hundred percent sure I know what I'm getting into, which I hope to change with some more research and feedback from you guys.
BTW I'm only working part time now and would have a minimal amount ($200-$500) to start off with if I were to start within the next couple of months.

This. And buy put that small amount you have into one of the now penny stocks available from what used to be major companies. If they don't go bankrupt you should have a decent return for when the economy gets better and if they do you'll only have lost a small sum.

I use sharebuilder.com since I had an ING savings account already, and sharebuilder became part of ING making it convenient. Instant transfers between the 2 accounts.

Although I'm curious about zecco.com, they say you get 10 free trades a month every month which sounds good to me.