Inspired by the discussion in this thread: http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2176338

Women of Totse - does the number of previous partners that a guy has had in the past interest you at all? If so, does the fact that the guy has had many partners have negative connotations to you? Positive? What about a guy that hasn't had any partners before you? Negative/positive?

I know that most guys would rather their girls had less partners than more, and some would prefer them to be their first - I suppose that's because it's considered that men pursue women - therefore, if a woman turns down most guys, but not you, it probably makes men feel better about themselves.
Contrary to that, guys have to pursue women - therefore, if a guy has slept with many women, that would indicate that he can get any girl he likes - the fact that he chose to stay with a particular girl instead must be flattering to her - as opposed to a guy that hadn't been with any women before.

Would be interesting to know if that's how it actually is.

Edit: I'm talking about the preferences for a long-term relationship here.

Liar

or

Rapist

[/thread]

This thread is inherently flawed, as it requests that women tell us their preferences, which will naturally be skewed towards what they want to be true, not what actually is true.

A normal guy?

And same goes for a girl.

A guy with a high number wouldn't impress me. I don't know if it'd be a deal-breaker, but it wouldn't make him seem more desirable.

I've been very selective, and I would prefer him to at least have been somewhat selective.

I wish I was a virgin still, the day I lost it was the day I started getting old.

Whats a high number? Is 3 a high number? You have to elaborate for your post to make any kind of sense. I want to agree with what you said, but for I know you could consider 3 to be too many.

Whats a high number? Is 3 a high number? You have to elaborate for your post to make any kind of sense. I want to agree with what you said, but for I know you could consider 3 to be too many.

I didn't put a number because it changes with age. 3 might be high if we were both 14...normally of course it wouldn't.

A college guy who bragged that he'd had 20+ girls would appear to me to be less than selective, obviously. Even much more than ten at that age seems iffy.

edit: I guess I could extend those arbitrary ages to 25 yrs, since it's in the thread title.

I didn't put a number because it changes with age. 3 might be high if we were both 14...normally of course it wouldn't.

A college guy who bragged that he'd had 20+ girls would appear to me to be less than selective, obviously. Even much more than ten at that age seems iffy.

Seriously, it only takes one night of drunken fun to add to the count...

I didn't put a number because it changes with age. 3 might be high if we were both 14...normally of course it wouldn't.

A college guy who bragged that he'd had 20+ girls would appear to me to be less than selective, obviously. Even much more than ten at that age seems iffy.

Yeah, thats why the OP saved you the trouble of thinking about this and put the age 25 in the thread title. But I see your point.

Any guy that's been with more than 2-3 girls by the time he's 25 is a...

player. Obviously.

that wasn't at the age of forty two to a man called Bubba was it?

I didn't put a number because it changes with age. 3 might be high if we were both 14...normally of course it wouldn't.

A college guy who bragged that he'd had 20+ girls would appear to me to be less than selective, obviously. Even much more than ten at that age seems iffy.

But in general, as I understand from your posts, you see it in more of a positive light, unless the number is so high it looks like he's been shagging everything that moves / doesn't have any standards. Is that right?

Edit: would it make any difference, if you knew that all of them were smoking hot?

Not really. Player means its a high number.

that wasn't at the age of forty two to a man called Bubba was it?

no, the age of 10 to your peadophile mother.

But in general, as I understand from your posts, you see it in more of a positive light, unless the number is so high it looks like he's been shagging everything that moves / doesn't have any standards. Is that right?

Nah, less doesn't really bother me. Age 25 and a virgin I might wonder about it, but I've known some pretty sheltered dudes that were cool and cute... just sheltered. So I wouldn't hold a low number against anyone.


Edit: would it make any difference, if you knew that all of them were smoking hot?

Not really. I wouldn't want to know what they looked like. To have an honest-to-god shallow-girl-moment: if they were prettier than me, I wouldn't like it much and if they were ugly I'd worry that he has bad taste.

Nah, less doesn't really bother me. Age 25 and a virgin I might wonder about it, but I've known some pretty sheltered dudes that were cool and cute... just sheltered. So I wouldn't hold a low number against anyone.

Neutral/positive then? At least you make it sound like that.



Not really. I wouldn't want to know what they looked like. To have an honest-to-god shallow-girl-moment: if they were prettier than me, I wouldn't like it much and if they were ugly I'd worry that he has bad taste.

Heh, thanks for an honest answer.

From a logical standpoint, I would've thought that if you thought they were prettier than you, it would've made you feel flattered that he's been with all those girls, but settled for you.

no, the age of 10 to your paedophile mother.

she got you too huh? you got lucky though, she took mine when i was six.

I'd wanna know a roundabout number for 2 reasons:

1: if he'd had a lot of partners, unprotected for my own peace of mind i might ask him to get tested if the number's unusually high.

2: to know if he's had a lot of experience or if i should guide him a bit or something.



2-3 before he's 25... I'd be too afraid he'd cheat because he wants to play the field a bit or something before settling down. AND that he just may not be that sexual... which would NOT be a good match for me :p

Well I am a 22 year old male. I lost my virginity to a "very" experienced girl at the age of 15. Then I got into a relationship with a girl and we dated for about a year, she wanted to wait till marriage before we had sex, but we ended up fucking and after that she felt guilty and told her dad and everything and i was in trouble with the family so we broke it off because she was starting shit.

Then I met the love of my life and we had sex for about a whole year and then we broke it off and it took me a long time to get over her. So I have been with 3 woman at the age of 22, but I havent had any sex in about 5 years now and It seems like im never gonna get any again. :(

I really hope I find a girlfriend soon because I would like to get married and have kids and all that bullshit.

I really hope I find a girlfriend soon because I would like to get married and have kids and all that bullshit.

With that mentality, that ain't gonna end well.

Well then agent how would you suggest I approach it? I feel that I have gained a little more courage lately.

Oh and if you are suggesting I find a g/f and "then" decide if I want kids,, i completely agree, it kind of came out wrong.

I would've thought that if you thought they were prettier than you, it would've made you feel flattered that he's been with all those girls, but settled for you.

Who wants people to settle for them?

Who wants people to settle for them?

By "settle" I meant be with / stay with / purse a long-term relationship with / fall in love with.

I am suggesting you sort out your life and personality so that you are happy with yourself independently, without the desperate need to "find a g/f" that you're showing.

Then, once you're able to pick any girl you like, and can really know the one you love and want to spend your life with (because you've been with so many others, and they don't interest you any more - you've seen it all, and it just hasn't been the same as that one), you do what you know is right.

What you are planning for now is a broken family and a hell for your future kids.

A wee bit hesitant to talk about this since my current boyfriend is on this forum, but he was actually a virgin before I started dating him. This came as shock to me because I've definitely had to compete with many attractive girls for his affection, and he was 19. I had never had sex with a virgin previous to him and when we started dating he wanted us to wait a considerable amount of time before becoming intimate. And before you make your assumptions, there is nothing wrong with him physically nor mentally. I can't entirely say that he was waiting for love to have sex, there were some complicated "almost" times with other girls that I don't really care to explain because I don't think he'd appreciate reading me gushing about his personal life, it's kind of beside the point. The point is that there are men out there who don't feel like they have to validate their existence by raking up some number of chicks they've banged. Though I admit they appear to be sparse and few.

So, any guy who's had sex with more than 2-3 girls before 25 is basically a normal dude to me, really. I think it's unfair to judge someone's promiscuity by a number because there are obviously so many other circumstances that come into play. I for one am 18 and have had sex with 5 men, so OMG I would be a slut, but what you wouldn't stop to think about is the fact that 2 of those men had taken complete and total advantage of me. One by lying his ass off, which was one of the single most awful experiences ever, and the other through getting me drunk to the point of not remembering it in the morning, again, one of the most awful things to ever have to feel. I have honestly only had one positive sexual relationship ever, and that is with my boyfriend.. obviously.

What's really wrong with promiscuity anyways when it is between two responsible and emotionally mature adults who are practicing safe sex? The only thing that creates an issue is an immature mindset based around jealousy and possessiveness. As long as you are assured that your partner is not doing such as acts of degradation towards women, or in the case of a woman, degrading herself willing beknownst to her, then what is the problem?

You are exactly right agent thanks for the advice I will try to get my priorities and personality in order and hopefully the one will come.

what's his username?

what's his username?

Yeah.. the whole reason I told the story was under the circumstance that I would not have to reveal his identity. Maybe if he reads this and wants to identify himself, then he can. Sorry.

This was a really good post. I also like your username.

By "settle" I meant be with / stay with / purse a long-term relationship with / fall in love with.

Well now that's the total opposite of what I pictured. I agree with you, then.

This was a really good post. I also like your username.

thank you :)

thank you :)

I remember strugglin way back when, but now I lay back in.. Choooaga

http://www.cardotcom.com/cars/images02/06charger-srt8.jpg


real nice.. and real fast

The point is that according to society, if a woman has fucked several guys shes a whore. If a guy has fucked several girls he's a hero.

Fuck that shit. Society should just stop fucking for a huge number of reasons. Also players are assholes. I blame american media.. they are the ones glorifying getting laid in just about every movie that gets released.

this much is true. but to stop all fucking in general? now you're just bitter.

Three by age 25? I'd consider him very inexperienced.

The most important video ever produced on the subject.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpQqH4H_SUQ

You see? That's where you seem to be wrong.

That's the reason I made this thread. Some people think that that's double standards. But they forget, that men and women are not the same.

As you see, guys in general want their women to have had less partners (or they don't really care) and are ok with their woman being a virgin.
So far, what we've seen from this thread is that women in general want their men to have had some experience (or they don't care), and would rather he's been with a dozen girls before than him being a virgin.

And in my first post I've suggested a version why this is. So don't blame society on this. It makes sense. Society can attempt to "fix" it, but it didn't start it.



And your second paragraph is just plain stupid. If you want to "stop fucking", feel free to do so. But telling me what to do? Who the hell are you to do so.

:) intresting how you assume this means he's inexperienced. Why is this? who knows he might have had years to practice with one girl and has had time to develop skills you simply don't get in one night. And then did 2 random girls cause he could.

I think there's a very very big difference between experience, the ammount of people you slept with and actuall skill.
Specially since i hear bout most true sluts i know they suck no end in bed (and i don't mean in a good way)


Ohw and i don't care with how many people a girl has slept, but preferably no virgin, i hate a total lack of skills.
My gf doesn't care either.

But anyways, the reall reason for adding to this topic

cannibal hooker, Brilliant post, once could only hope all posts on totse we're like that (hell, i might even start makin an effort then)

You see? That's where you seem to be wrong.

That's the reason I made this thread. Some people think that that's double standards. But they forget, that men and women are not the same.

As you see, guys in general want their women to have had less partners (or they don't really care) and are ok with their woman being a virgin.
So far, what we've seen from this thread is that women in general want their men to have had some experience (or they don't care), and would rather he's been with a dozen girls before than him being a virgin.

And in my first post I've suggested a version why this is. So don't blame society on this. It makes sense. Society can attempt to "fix" it, but it didn't start it.



And your second paragraph is just plain stupid. If you want to "stop fucking", feel free to do so. But telling me what to do? Who the hell are you to do so.

1. I said society SHOULD stop fucking, I'm not personally giving you orders, assclown.
2. If men and women are not the same, then consider this. Players cannot exist without self-disrespecting women who put out without getting to know a guy.