That hurts my dick to look at it.

Well, scars are badass, and generally girls like dicks. So, logically, girls will like your dick for being a badass.

Ouch!

Does it hurt to have an erection?

No actually. For about 3 days after this happened it did, but it doesn't now. It really fucking hurt the first couple of days after but its basically painless now.

Soooooo, by page two no one has asked why he fucked the toaster?

So lonely...:(

.... ....wha!?

He has a penis

good sir, you fail. the cool kids have it set to the maximum of 40 posts per page. therefore, this is still page one.

on topic, was it good for you?

toaster<vagina

they should teach that in sex ed.

Requesting pics of toaster to verify.

good sir, you fail. the cool kids have it set to the maximum of 40 posts per page. therefore, this is still page one.

on topic, was it good for you?
You are correct, kind sir.

Um wow - just wow?

I need to see a picture of this toaster to get this straight in my head

*qucikly sets his post limit to 40 per page*

not

Why did you turn the toaster on, was a nice hot element supposed to feel good?

I don't know why everyone is so interested in the toaster. I took a pic of it and its uploading on photobucket right now, but the real story is my burnt cock. Seriously, fuck the toaster..... or not... because it will burn you :(.

Why did you turn the toaster on, was a nice hot element supposed to feel good?
Well, as long as you are going to fuck a kitchen appliance, it might as well be warm.

Did you try sticking a pop tart in your girlfriend?

If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't have stuck my cock in a toaster now would I.

...Did you satisfy the toaster?

If you were "surpass HTS-Noob in stupidity", why did you not take pictures of the actual toaster sex? Better yet, video! You've done well, New Arrival but I'm afraid you'll have to do it again with a video camera :(.

Did you try sticking a pop tart in your girlfriend?

*chuckles*

^I wasn't trying to surpass him in stupidity at the time, I realized that in retrospect. And I didn't take pics of the toaster sex because I didn't intend for this to end up on the internet.

Anyways, heres the toaster.

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r147/Praise_bucket/DSCF9302.jpg

The toaster has a heat level, 1-8 or something, I thought 3 would just be warm, but then I guess my dick hit one of the glowing red hot pieces of metal :(

I don't recommend you try this.

Why would you think a TOASTER would simulate a vagina? Come on now...

what are you hiding under the post it note, or is that your name, *squints*

what are you hiding under the post it note

Nothing! This thread isn't about the toaster, its about my burnt cock!

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r147/Praise_bucket/DSCF9301.jpg

Its warm like a pussy and its shaped like a robots pussy would be... I dunno... I'm an idiot.

Aloe Vera:D

Next time try the microwave. At least that will prevent you from passing down your idiotic genes.

That'll be an interesting story to tell when one day..."how'd you get that scar on your penis baby?"

"uhh...I tried to fuck a toaster"

"..."

"I think we need to see other people"

in your defense, it is a very good looking toaster.

The postit says

"totse
in bloom"

And what the hell were you on!?

that defense is worthless until your name has more significant figures.

ahhh but now that i look at it theres some rust going on and it just looks all scratchy and painful. you really thought this is would be the best place to stick your cock into?


i think your watching the wrong porn.

that defense is worthless until your name has more significant figures.

touche.

Did you ever try jerking off or did that just get too boring and routine-ish?

Probably.

Kiss it better?

The latter.

Do you have any lost sensation?

Not entirely sure yet. I'll have to wait until the wound fully heals before I can test that out.

This thread will have several pages.:)

Will I be a totse legend???

So, did you just... stick it in one of the slots? I can't imagine you would be THAT stupid... Or are you?

How did this all go about? Give us a step by step.
And How did you get the toaster to get that hot for you?
^tehe, little joke.

Well apparently I am that stupid. Heres how it happened.

I was home alone on a Friday night, and I was casually drinking some beers. I think I had about 6 beers when I decided to make some toast. While making the toast I got horny... then I got a brilliant idea... or so it seemed at the time.

You can probably take it from here. A few minutes later I was in pain and bleeding from the penis :(

Ok, who's the moron that posted it on 4chan?
http://img.4chan.org/r9k/res/2225986.html
Good job, now brace for the tsunoobie.

So.... Did you, ah, thrust inside it? Or did you just kind of let it lay low in there for a minute?

And why didn't you just pull it out when you realized your dick was getting burnt? Didn't you feel it?

hahah omg its on 4chan already im gonna be internet famous.

I'm wondering what you were doing on 4chan to find it there in the first place.

I was slightly drunk, so maybe it was getting burnt for a second before I realized.

And heres what happened in even greater detail. I started pumping it, and I had put butter all over the place to work as lube. I think on like the 5th or 6th trust I felt an intense burning then I pulled out and was in shock about what happened.

*posts in epic thread*

I'm wondering what you were doing on 4chan to find it there in the first place.

Join Date2007-04-23I won't answer that question when asked by you.

You'll be on the news by the end of the week.

No, because you're a new fucking arrival who joined today.
Edit: Who will even care about your small scar in a month from now anyway. It's obvious that you're nothing but an attention whore. I give you 4/10.

Jesus christ......only on totse can you find stupid ass idiots, brave enough to fuck a toaster. I bet if there is a hell, the only "Fun time" you have is reading these forums filled with the scum of the earth.

You need help OP, Really fucking BAD

Do you think my cock is awesome?

I've come to the conclusion that it's a messed up piercing.

lol its clearly a burn, not a puncture. Look at the tissue damage.

That's definitely a burn. OP is going to have a blister there if he doesnt have one already. Fucking ow.

Even if it is a hoax I give this kid props. Not only is it a great story but he's got pics to back it up.

Do you think calling people a toaster fucker could catch on throughout society?

*3 years from now in Britain*

"You owe me a fiver mate"
"Go fuck a toaster"

I won't believe it until I see the weener in the toaster with the hot orange coils.

Well I guess you'll never believe it then, because I'm sure as fuck not sticking my dick back in there.

Well I guess you'll never believe it then, because I'm sure as fuck not sticking my dick back in there.
Yeah that'd be a really stupid idea

this is the next best thing since jenkem

Ya, that was pretty epic. So is this though.

next stop, the blender!

Make sure to give before and after pictures for that one though.

Kudos for having the guts to post your dilemma. But no kudos for sticking your dick in a toaster.

What is a fiver?

Ya it was a bad call to try and make love to a toaster.

And I guessing that with totse and 4chan put together at least 1000 people have seen my dick by now. Cool.

E: Holy shit, over 1000 people have seen this thread already. And thats not counting the people who saw it on 4chan.

What is a fiver?

An english term for 5 euros.

Because the answer is obvious. Why would a person stick their DICK in a toaster that happens to be on? It is not because they're getting laid daily and just thought it'd keep their cock warm and be fun at the same time.

And I guessing that with totse and 4chan put together at least 1000 people have seen my dick by now. Cool.

http://www.totse.com/community/images/icons/icon14.gif

Dude, that's a fucking good response. Kickass.

.....at least HTS Noob got some pleasure from the highlighter. Fucking a toaster doesn't even make any sense.

Its was pleasurable!! For a few seconds..... :(

Too bad you didn't get electrocuted... unfortunately for the rest of us, you can still pass on your genetic code.

I feel sorry for you. It looks like that shit hurt.

Let this be a lesson to you kids, always wear protection. =D

You really should tell your parents or fellow housemates not to make anymore toast.

Why its not like I nutted in the toaster. And even then. Extra flavor for the next lucky person.

What do the good looking of totse think about this?

Silverfuck? Prettypoems? What are you feelings towards my scared cock from toaster fucking?

Someone come up with a meme.

Go fuck a toaster?

Well I'm female and I would never sleep someone with the amount of intelligence it would take to fuck a toaster. I don't care if you look like fucking Hugh Jackman in xmen. If you're sticking your reproductive organs in an appliances they're not coming anywhere near my cooch.

Go fuck a toaster?

Seriously (pics)

even though HTS-noob is not only gay, but a ginger as well, he's still better than In Bloom. Fucking a toaster just isnt cool.

....

k i was off totse for like twenty hrs. what the hell did i miss?
never signing off again.

Do you like my cock?

...I'm sure as fuck not sticking my dick back in there.

Yeah, I've said that a few times... I get horny, make a call, & she comes over again...

I would not recommend that in your position though.

hahahahaha

hahhahahahahahahaa

fucking a toaster, pure genius

Troll much?


I don't even think I could bring myself to fuck a toaster on 6 beers.


Next time, use fleshlight..mmkay?

http://www.fleshlight.com/

Good god!!!! And I don't even believe in god.

Well it was almost darwinism... Almost.

This dude is gonna be remembered. Although nothing can probably beat HTS-Noob.

Last time i checked a vagina wasn't made out of metal, you're a fucking idiot.

So you incinerated your penis and now you want totse sympathy? I don't think so.

If you are about to plow some chick and she asks where you got "that" scar you are obligated by totse law to show her this thread.

Looks like over 2000 people have seen my cock now. I wonder if any of them will ever end up seeing it in real life.

Haha. Yeah, good luck...

The pictures are going to be deleted soon because you hosted them on photobucket and they don't allow nude type photos.

It just looks like the OP tore his frenulum.

Bravo, good sir, bravo.

I mentioned earlier this is just a coverup for his failed self frenulum removal.

Op, bad news for you, you said you didnt cum, but hell, you might have had some pre cum on your dick or something.

My guess is the toaster is going to eat all of the crumbs in the bottom of it, and may start eating the toast people are trying to cook.

Just wait 9 months and explain to everyone else in the house why the toaster has given birth to a load of toaster / human hybrids.

...And a fiver is 5 pounds, not 5 euros. We dont use that monopoly money over here.

*Posting to be on the sidelines of totse history*

Sorry man, awesome thread but I really don't believe you did that type of damage with a toaster. Simply because only the frenulum's damaged, not any of the tissue around it that juts out further. (ie. The head)

Conclusion: You're an ass for making me think about the mechanics of your dick in a toaster.

And my penis is prettier then yours.

I mentioned earlier this is just a coverup for his failed self frenulum removal.

Why would I try to remove my frenulum?

And what do you think I did to it? Just hold a lighter on my cock until the frenulum burned off? That don't make no sense.

Its clearly a burn, and its clearly not from a lighter.

*Posting to be on the sidelines of totse history*

Sorry man, awesome thread but I really don't believe you did that type of damage with a toaster. Simply because only the frenulum's damaged, not any of the tissue around it that juts out further. (ie. The head)

Conclusion: You're an ass for making me think about the mechanics of your dick in a toaster.


The bottom side of my cock is the only part that touched the glowing metal wires.

And my penis is prettier then yours.

:(

Haha this is epic.

Just be thankful that it wasn't the blender that caught your eye.

Talk about a hot rod. I wouldn't trust you around my toaster. You sick toaster molester you. YOU FUCKING TOASTER RAPER. Stay out the kitchen kid.

Like people have said, it just looks like you tore your frenulum.

I snapped the banjo string (well, ripped it out completely) just over a year ago and it looked exactly like that.

http://wiki.bmezine.com/images/thumb/0/02/Frenectomyjonathanmartinez.JPG/300px-Frenectomyjonathanmartinez.JPG

Hurm...this is epic in a sense of what the hell were you really thinking? Even on the lowest setting hello its metal it heats up rather well...were you curious of the feeling or incredibly desperate..

if I had a dick id stick it anywhere I could too I guess, but not while it was ON!....

LOL..

Ya it did rip a little, but most of the damage was from the burn I think.

Damn I gotta try that....however I wont turn the toaster on, I'll just jam my throbbing cock in the little toast slits and have my with my toaster. Ooooh its gonna be a good night.

Ya it did rip a little, but most of the damage was from the burn I think.

Doesn't look burnt to me. Mine looked pretty much the same as yours just from it ripping. It won't form a scab, you'll just get the white bits, like an ulcer on the inside of your mouth.

Congratulations, you've just turned the most sensitive part of your penis into scar tissue. At least I did it while having sex with a girl.

Doesn't look burnt to me. Mine looked pretty much the same as yours just from it ripping. It won't form a scab, you'll just get the white bits, like an ulcer on the inside of your mouth.

Congratulations, you've just turned the most sensitive part of your penis into scar tissue. At least I did it while having sex with a girl.

No. Its a burn. A scab is forming. I will post more pics in a few days.

Sticking a piece of bread on either side would have caused less burning. And a lower setting. First time, you should try it slow.

Page 4

Almost 3000 views and it hasn't even been 24 hours since I posted this. I'd laugh if this spread through all of the internet.

Oh, and whats a hosting site that will allow nude pics, because whoever said photobucket will remove them is right, its just a matter of time. So where can I host these pics?

Well this is probably the first and hopefully last time I'll say this, props for fucking your toaster.

I won't answer that question when asked by you.

Okay then, why were you on 4chan in the first place?

Also, you people don't realize it's nothing but an attention whore troll.

This thread is epic fail.

Enjoy growing up knowing you did that.

Okay then, why were you on 4chan in the first place?

Also, you people don't realize it's nothing but an attention whore troll.

This thread is epic fail.

Maybe I'm attention whoring a little, but the pics are real. I'm not really trolling because this really happened. Thread is not epic fail in anyway.

So ya I guess I'm an attention whore but this is all true. I'll post more pics tomorrow probably so you can see the healing process.

A TOASTER!? A toaster.......come on now. You were only buzzing and you willingly stuck the most sensitive part of your body, arguably the most important part of your body into something that is by definition a device which burns things. In no way can you justify this act and you definitely shouldn't be proud. If you ever do anything extraordinary/smart during the rest of your life and feel like congratulating yourself, I want you to stop and replay this evet in your head and say the magical words,"Oh yeah, I'm a retard....:("

+1....

Maybe I'm attention whoring a little, but the pics are real. I'm not really trolling because this really happened. Thread is not epic fail in anyway.

So ya I guess I'm an attention whore but this is all true. I'll post more pics tomorrow probably so you can see the healing process.

I still call troll. No sensible person does this. Sticking a highlighter up your ass is somewhat sensible because the thought process doesn't go "Oh well I might get this stuck up there", it's just "this might feel good and there really isn't a chance that it can hurt me". When it comes to a toaster the thought process should ALWAYS be "putting my dick in a toaster that burns things is not a good idea. Not to mention the fact that it's metal and not soft so therefore will not feel good"

You fucking retard.

A TOASTER!? A toaster.......come on now. You were only buzzing and you willingly stuck the most sensitive part of your body, arguably the most important part of your body into something that is by definition a device which burns things. In no way can you justify this act and you definitely shouldn't be proud. If you ever do anything extraordinary/smart during the rest of your life and feel like congratulating yourself, I want you to stop and replay this evet in your head and say the magical words,"Oh yeah, I'm a retard....:("

Plus, this.

...









that is all.

toasting in an epic bread

OP, weren't you a regular before? I remember seeing regular under your name then thinking, "Lulz, what a troll."

Yeah, what the fuck?

You went from New Arrival to Regular to Acolyte...

Anyways, heres the toaster.

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r147/Praise_bucket/DSCF9302.jpg

I'm suprised this hasn't occurred to anyone yet.

My dick would NOT fit inside those toaster holes. And slender as your dick looks, In Bloom, I'm not certain it would fit either.

I need a picture of your dick fitting inside the toaster while erect. It doesn't have to be turned on.

yeah in bloom, you dont get to surpass HTS, mainly because you are a fucking idiot. dont take something someone used as an insult to you for being a complete idiot and try to be funny about it.

youre a jackass man... seriously... (pics)

Do you like my cock?

Seriously buddy no one is going to compliment your cock. It looks disgusting and small. No one would want that inside of them. Stop asking women if they like your cock You'll get nothing but pity and sarcasm. Keep fucking appliances, you pretty much have no other option.

I still call troll.

Then explain the pics. Go on. Explain it. Yeah, thats what I thought.

Yeah, what the fuck?

You went from New Arrival to Regular to Acolyte...

Ya I noticed that too. I have no idea whats going on, maybe the software is getting confused because it didn't believe a new arrival could make a thread so epic in their 1st post.

Seriously buddy no one is going to compliment your cock. It looks disgusting and small. No one would want that inside of them. Stop asking women if they like your cock You'll get nothing but pity and sarcasm. Keep fucking appliances, you pretty much have no other option.

Is this the first comment in the thread insulting the size of my dick?....

If it is then thats pretty fucking remarkable for totse.

And meh, its big enough. Granted I'm not huge, but its not finished growing yet either, and I think all girls my age would be satisfied with it. Could be a lot worse.

Then explain the pics. Go on. Explain it. Yeah, thats what I thought.

Uhh, one of many thousands of things that could happen?

Masturbating too much, a boil, an infection, so many other things...

You're just a fucking troll.

Should have taken a hint from PyroHydroSmok and stuck your dick in a bagel, at least then it would have felt nice.

Uhh, one of many thousands of things that could happen?

Masturbating too much, a boil, an infection, so many other things...

You're just a fucking troll.

Should have taken a hint from PyroHydroSmok and stuck your dick in a bagel, at least then it would have felt nice.

Its a burn!! Anyone with a brain should be able to see that.

Either I held a lighter on my cock until the burn began to bleed, or I fucked a toaster. Both are retarded, but what do you think is more practical.

Ahh irony at it's best. See normally, as in real life, someone would defend themselves against being accused of fucking a toaster but here on totse we have people who try and defend themselves by saying they did fuck a toaster.

Its a burn!! Anyone with a brain should be able to see that.

Either I held a lighter on my cock until the burn began to bleed, or I fucked a toaster. Both are retarded, but what do you think is more practical.

Definitely not fucking a toaster

Either I held a lighter on my cock until the burn began to bleed, or I fucked a toaster. Both are retarded, but what do you think is more practical.

Stop trying to rationalize sticking your dick in a toaster, while it was turned on. I can tell you right now whatever you come up with is not going to make me think that you are smarter then you appear...

What a great thread :D

Is this the first comment in the thread insulting the size of my dick?....

If it is then thats pretty fucking remarkable for totse.

And meh, its big enough. Granted I'm not huge, but its not finished growing yet either, and I think all girls my age would be satisfied with it. Could be a lot worse.
How old are you?

What a great thread :D

I full heartedly agree with you.

How old are you?

Turned 18 a little while ago.

In Bloom, three words:

You. Fucking. Rule.

Turned 18 a little while ago.

I am your age. And I wouldn't want that tiny fleshy stump excuse for a penis anywhere near me.

you are one fucking dumbass op.but your bravery to do stupid activities of high caliber surpasses mine.i salute you and your huge balls to have done it.

I am your age. And I wouldn't want that tiny fleshy stump excuse for a penis anywhere near me.

Ok, congrats you're a hoe. The head of my dick can't even come close to fitting in the top of a Gatorade bottle, trust me, I've tried. If you need a giant cock at the age of 18, you really must have a loose pussy. Probably from getting fucked 10 times a day you dirty slut.

E: I know my dick isn't very big or anything, but technically I am bigger then the average adult.

You either have a tiny dick or you did not fuck a toaster.

I've never seen a toaster with an opening large enough to accomodate any dick I've ever seen.



Um and there's certainly no toaster I've ever seen with an opening larger than a gatorade bottle. So yea, you just failed.

Unfunny thread is unfunny. Obviously you didn't really stick your cock in a toaster as it would be really fucked up on more than 1 specific spot. You fail. Gtfo.

/thread

your dick looks moist and that's kinda gross

I've been applying polysporin a lot to sooth the burn. That makes it look moist.

In Bloom, three words:

You. Fucking. Fail.

Fixed.

I am your age. And I wouldn't want that tiny fleshy stump excuse for a penis anywhere near me.

He doesn't look like he has a small penis to me? Not overly large but not small either.

Although, if it could fit in a toaster of all things then it must be pretty damn small.

Fixed.



He doesn't look like he has a small penis to me? Not overly large but not small either.

Although, if it could fit in a toaster of all things then it must be pretty damn small.

I like you. You remind me of my toaster.

Sure it's not an std?

Is "Toaster" your dog?

TOAHSTRR ZECKS!

Yes.
No.
Indeed.

Lol@underage


...your hand look like 14 years old. Sorry, buddy, that ain't no 18 years old hand.


And 18 years old SHOULD able to get pussy at ease, not a fucking toaster.

Only 14 years old would come up with that idea.

You look like you could pop a balloon with your dick-head. Your pubes are longer than the hairs on my dome (head). Sucks for you.

You can't even see the start of my pubes. You just see the ends of them. I have more cock then what managed to fit in the photo.

And it doesn't really suck for me. Well the burn does, but the pubes don't. They have scissors and razors where I live so I don't think it will be a huge problem.

Damn...I've been horny, but never toasterfucking horny.

Do you like my cock?

Get your dick tattooed to look like a naked woman and have the scar be her vag.

It kind of works like motherfucking: "Dude I was toasterfucking horny on Friday."

edit: sent to urbandictionary.com

Submission under review

Your entry is under review by editors.

toasterfucking
Toasterfucking implies an extreme sexual urge. If one is horny enough to fuck a toaster, he is willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel if need be in order to get laid.
Man I was toasterfucking horny on Friday, I had sex with a really fat, deformed chick.


by fanglekai on Nov 24, 2008

It kind of works like motherfucking: "Dude I was toasterfucking horny on Friday."

Ugh, don't encourage him.

Epic thread.

Ugh, don't encourage him.

A little late, I'm afraid.

Get your dick tattooed to look like a naked woman and have the scar be her vag.

Awesome reply. I might do that. Or something similar anyways.

Awesome reply. I might do that. Or something similar anyways.

Yeah, theres nothing like fully emasculating yourself and getting a physical representation of how much you wish you had a vagina.

Go out and find some girl?
bar/club
craigslist if you're really sad and desperate.

Yeah, theres nothing like fully emasculating yourself and getting a physical representation of how much you wish you had a vagina.

Maybe not a vagina but I like the tattoo idea.

i Lol'd for an hour i love it when people are complete retards, just think to yourself a toaster gets hot as hell and what would you do when the toaster popped up and could have possibly caught your cock in the hot metal, you would have to rip it out ...ow

And it doesn't really suck for me.

You have a charred cock, foot-long pubes and the pointiest dick in existence. That all sucks, bad.

You have a charred cock, foot-long pubes and the pointiest dick in existence. That all sucks, bad.

Meh the burn will heal. I don't care about my pubes, and I don't care if my cocks pointy.

Well congratulations, you posted in your own thread 51 times. What a fucking attention whore, if it is indeed true, and I would be willing to bet a substantial amount of money it's not true. Seriously, your dick would be much more fucked than that.

51 FUCKING TIMES

wow really? seriously?

http://www.misspoppy.com/catalog/img/products/magnet/jesus_slap_300.jpg

Basically all of those posts were replies to people in this thread. Like this.

And you actually counted? Get a life. Or better yet, fuck a toaster. Fag.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=toaster

wtf at #3
toaster 43 up, 38 down
Any household object used for means of sexual gratification.
Erica, stop fucking the toaster! -_-
by k9norn Nov 12, 2003

Toahster zecks=your epic "flail"

Toahster zecks=your epic "flail"

Not doing it right.

You thought his idea was in any way original? Search SG for fuck and toaster; it's been discussed here before.

You thought his idea was in any way original? Search SG for fuck and toaster; it's been discussed here before.

Well excuse me for not being the expert on toaster fucking.

You thought his idea was in any way original? Search SG for fuck and toaster; it's been discussed here before.

Ya but I doubt anybody actually fucked a toaster. If I'm not a first for that.... there is little hope for humanity.

Ya but I doubt anybody actually fucked a toaster. If I'm not a first for that.... there is little hope for humanity.

Then do the honorable thing and take yourself out of the gene pool, for the love of god.

Then do the honorable thing and take yourself out of the gene pool, for the love of god.

I actually wanna have a ton of kids. Like 17 fucking kids. I won't make enough money to support that many so your taxes will have to help me out.

I actually wanna have a ton of kids. Like 17 fucking kids. I won't make enough money to support that many so your taxes will have to help me out.

Fine.

http://enigma.dune.net/~eric/Do-not-feed-the-troll.PNG

How am I troll? Trolls seldom provide proof/pics to their ridiculous claims and even when they do, its normally not good proof.

This would be a total troll thread... without pics. But the pics prove I actually did this, and therefore am not trolling.

Show me a toaster with your burnt flesh on it, and I'll believe you. Maybe. ;)

And the attentionwhore of the year award goes to...

And just for the record, the views thing doesn't mean that every single view is by a different person, if you havent noticed, alot of the same people have posted in this thread.

Doesn't matter. Go to a thread that isn't popular, third page or something, and go into it. Then go back to the main forum and do it again and again. It will only record the first time.

Next time, try a waffle iron on for size...:D

Hmm... Actually that might not be a bad idea...

Maybe if I filled it with peanut butter and put it on a low setting....

Well excuse me for not being the expert on toaster fucking.


You're not?


You make me sick, mother fucker.

Not doing it right.

I have to make it real simple for the tards.

I have to make it real simple for the tards.

Faggot.

Faggot.

Ok dicktoaster man.

Ok dicktoaster man.

Hahahaha, how original and insulting. That one really got to me.

Hahahaha, how original and insulting. That one really got to me.

You have to keep up with our insatiable hunger for novelty, better butter up that blender and roll footage.

You have to keep up with our insatiable hunger for novelty, better butter up that blender and roll footage.

Err... Good one?

I hope you're 13. Or else you're a fucking idiot. And thats coming from a guy who fucked a toaster.

Maybe the alcohol is starting to take effect but my toaster oven is looking mighty skanky.

Wear a condom and if you smell burning latex pull out.

Err... Good one?

I hope you're 13. Or else you're a fucking idiot. And thats coming from a guy who fucked a toaster.

Aw...it was social commentary AND a sexytoastermanfucker bash, and you didn't like it.

Burns to be you. Next time breadmaker?

You are by far the lamest person to post in this thread. And I'm not just saying that because you're insulting me. Plenty of people have insulted me in this thread. You suck the most out of everyone.

The only way to recover is to fuck [insert random appliance here]?

K, this is my last reply to you. Everything you said has failed miserably. I think even the people that hate me can agree on that.

You're a fag, attention whore bitch who sticks his dick in a hot toaster. Actually you probably didn't do that, its just some weird mutation of an STD you got from fucking your boyfriend in the ass too much.

If it was true would I give a shit?

I am supplying you with the attention you obviously need, don't bite the hand that feeds, sirtoasterdick.

You're a fag, attention whore bitch who sticks his dick in a hot toaster. Actually you probably didn't do that, its just some weird mutation of an STD you got from fucking your boyfriend in the ass too much.

See mort, this is how a proper flame is written. You should take a lesson from this guy.

I think even the people that hate me can agree on that.

I'll even give you that one. GTFO new arrival.

See mort, this is how a proper flame is written. You should take a lesson from this guy.

You're a gaybabyjew who sticks his dick in a hot toaster. Actually you probably didn't do that, its just some weird hermaphroditic vagina appearing on the edge of your dick.

You're a gaybabyjew who sticks his dick in a hot toaster. Actually you probably didn't do that, its just some weird hermaphroditic vagina appearing on the edge of your dick.

lol you basically just copied what he said accept changed certain words. Try again young grasshopper. Jesus fuck you're an idiot.

Wow, you've posted over 60 times in this thread. You must have had quite a day. Not only did you get to please that attention seeking 13 year-old slut inside you, you got to piss off half of this forum.

Mission accomplished?

I rule so hard. And this isn't really trolling because it did happen. I'm just milking it alilbit.

You suck smegma through a straw.

lol you basically just copied what he said accept changed certain words. Try again young grasshopper. Jesus fuck you're an idiot.

that's why its funny.

I have to spell things out for you...perhaps you should read more and fuck toasters less.

K, im done talking to mort. Least funny and lamest person I've ever seen post here.

Mission accomplished?

I rule so hard. And this isn't really trolling because it did happen. I'm just milking it alilbit.

You suck smegma through a straw.

You do realize that even if you intend to respond to any serious thread from now on the *ahem* less mature members of totse will just bring up what made you so popular in the first place.

/scoff

You do realize that even if you intend to respond to any serious thread from now on the *ahem* less mature members of totse will just bring up what made you so popular in the first place.

/scoff

Omg you're right!!1!! Oh the never ending torment!! Please god, kill me now!

Omg you're right!!1!! Oh the never ending torment!! Please god, kill me now!

Gladly. And if that rules new arrival comes in here I'm going to go ahead and take out two birds with one stone, double-homicide style.

Omg you're right!!1!! Oh the never ending torment!! Please god, kill me now!

Pls don't live stream your suicide attempt.

http://broccolicity.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/egg-toaster.jpg


*Begins beating off*

Ya I noticed that too. I have no idea whats going on, maybe the software is getting confused because it didn't believe a new arrival could make a thread so epic in their 1st post.

or, you know, it could just be a glitch.

This is not an epic thread. This is a fucking stupid thread started by a moron.

You know what the difference between you and HTS is?

He did it because he thought it'd feel good and came to totse for help, not fame.

You thought "hey, i want some fucking attention," got drunk, and stuck your cock in a toaster.

Bottom line: You fail.

Next time just stick your balls in a garbage disposal.

You should try it again in a cool bath so it doesn't get as hot.

or, you know, it could just be a glitch.

This is not an epic thread. This is a fucking stupid thread started by a moron.

You know what the difference between you and HTS is?

He did it because he thought it'd feel good and came to totse for help, not fame.

You thought "hey, i want some fucking attention," got drunk, and stuck your cock in a toaster.

Bottom line: You fail.

Next time just stick your balls in a garbage disposal.

Idiot. I didn't intent to fuck up my cock then post it on the internet. The difference between me and HTS noob is that he stuck a highlighter up his ass where as I stuck my dick in a toaster.

We both has the exact same intentions (experimentation and sexual pleasure) and we both had the same result (epic failure).

Tard.

Idiot. I didn't intent to fuck up my cock then post it on the internet. The difference between me and HTS noob is that he stuck a highlighter up his ass where as I stuck my dick in a toaster.

We both has the exact same intentions (experimentation and sexual pleasure) and we both had the same result (epic failure).

Tard.

The only reason to POST THIS asinine act is for attention you cumguzzling toaster fuck.

The highlighter fag posted in part because he needed medical advice. You on the other hand obviously aren't burned that bad.

So let me summarize.
1. You burn your cock on a toaster.
2. You need attention because you crave the attention
3. You post pics and explanation of your retarded activity.
4. Get harassed by bored fucks.
5. Your post count explodes.
6. ????
7. Profit.

Idiot. I didn't intent to fuck up my cock then post it on the internet. The difference between me and HTS noob is that he stuck a highlighter up his ass where as I stuck my dick in a toaster.

We both has the exact same intentions (experimentation and sexual pleasure) and we both had the same result (epic failure).

Tard.

Oh, dearest me. Forgive my misinterpretation of your excitement over your newfound "internet fame" for motivation.

Regardless of the "why," you should not be allowed to breed.

are my flames getting better?

That last one wasn't that bad. Certainly not CarbonB worthy, but that whiny motherfucker does nothing BUT flame.

Oh, dearest me. Forgive my misinterpretation of your excitement over your newfound "internet fame" for motivation.

Regardless of the "why," you should not be allowed to breed.

Its pronounced 'bread'. Not "breed". You put 'bread' in the toaster. Fucking idiot.

Its pronounced 'bread'. Not "breed". You put 'bread' in the toaster. Fucking idiot.

you aren't that stupid.

maybe you are, you did fuck a toaster and you don't know shit about anything (http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2175859).

you aren't that stupid.

maybe you are, you did fuck a toaster and you don't know shit about anything (http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2175859).

lol I didn't know jews have small penis's.

Maybe you should spend less time looking at jewish meat and more time sucking your grandpas dick.

lol I didn't know jews have small penis's.

Maybe you should spend less time looking at my tiny jewmeat and more time fucking toasters.


nah, toasters aren't my thing.

I really do like the taste of cum. Please don't make fun of me, I have a serious addiction. I NEED to drink at least 1/2 cup of cum a day... That might not seem like a lot... but that means I have to suck around 20 cocks until they cum in my mouth to get my daily fix. I have acquired multiple STDs and my constant absence is causing problems at home. Please.... Pleaseeee help me with my cum guzzling addiction.

Because fucking with the quote system is clever.

Because fucking with the quote system is clever.

boo hoo hoo?