So, I was walking home today, and I had a cup full of my sperm in my pocket, to sell it at one of those clinics for some bucks.
Anyway, it was raining heavily, and visibility was almost null, so I didn't get a chance to see ahead of me.

I was grabbing the sperm sample to keep it at body temperature so it wouldn't die (needed the money for Mentos), and suddenly, I bumped into a stranger.
I lost my balance. The wet pavement seemed to travel at tremendous speed under my feet, my vision blurred, and, as if it were in slow motion, I fell.


I watched, powerless, as my cup of money shot flew into the sky, and then the unthinkable happened.
The lid came off, and whizzed away like a bird looking for food, and with a clank it crashed into the pavement.
A woman I hadn't seen before was walking by, and turned her head to greet someone.


She wasn't able to see it, so she stepped on the lid, which made her, you guessed, slip too.
I was terrified, and everything happened in a fraction of a second...
Her legs spreaded with the force of the fall, and my cup went towards her, as if it had a mind of its own.


Unluckily, the woman wasn't wearing any panties, so the cup was jammed straight into her vagina.
Now she's pregnant. She's suing me, and I'll be forced to pay child support for a thing that isn't my fault.
I need your help guys, please. :(

Yeah right, this is totally a lie.

You weren't there, man.
I'm still shaking.

So you got a woman pregnant without even having sex with her?

Weak.

Sir, i congratulate you on your recent father hood. Although though I do pity you for failing at both life and &t.

Doug

Are you serious lol, Why didn't you just wait till you got to the sperm bank to wank that shit out

So, what are you going to name the baby?

Abortion

Fucking pathetic attempt at lulz.

You are a pathetic attempt at lulz.

You are a pathetic attempt at lulz.





Funny because it's true.

OP if it makes you feel any better i loled.

+1 to pathetic attempt at lulz/troll


=/

I laughed pretty hard :D.

Sneak some other dude into her vagina when she's sleeping, and convince her it's his baby. I do this all the time, and it works perfectly.

agreed. troll. they don't accept sperm like that. they want that shit fresh out the tip.

That was wonderful! I loved it!!

Doubtfully original.

You saved me some typing time, this.

You saved me some typing time, this.

That's actually longer than the quote, so you saved no time. :D

That's actually longer than the quote, so you saved no time. :D

I originally had a rather long rant ready to go into, but your post was shorter and had the same general ring to it.

I originally had a rather long rant ready to go into, but your post saved me from spending 20 minutes going into it.

Ah, well, I'm sorry for making assumptions my internet friend. :D

You fail right away. Sperm banks don't let you bring in "a cup from home". You have to do it there.
And second, the semen wouldn't have shot into her vagina, it would have sat in the bottom of the cup that was inserted into her vagina.

And second, the semen wouldn't have shot into her vagina, it would have sat in the bottom of the cup that was inserted into her vagina.

What if the cup landed in her cunt whilst she was doing cartwheels down the street?

How did people find this funny?

A pox on thee!

all of this is a joke, don't be all serious about it

I'm sure I posted in this thread already...

I laughed at the Mentos part, but you could have made that a lot better.

I have seemed to have mistaken this thread for the one where the OP tells on his friend for cp.