I talked to my college counselor today because she was concerned about my grades lowering, so I started talking to her about my life. She eventually said that I might have "Avoidance personality disorder" because of some of the things I told her:

I was offered a job recently but never answered the phone when the guy called because I didn't really trust him. He left lots of messages but I never called him back. Would've been a good job too... I've been talking to this girl and we have a really nice connection, but every time I get the opportunity to kiss her or bring her home with me, I just get quiet and end the interaction short. I don't do homework at all, I just put it off for a long time. It's always late and I never give my best effort on it. I don't keep many friends. I have a best buddy, but everyone else are just acquaintances; I can chat with them when I see them, but I don't hang out with them on the weekends or talk to them.

I've looked up other people's experiences who have this disorder, and I can relate to most of them. So I'm starting to agree that this might be my problem. The counselor told me therapy or psychiatry might help, but she didn't tell me where I could get help, and I didn't think to ask.

How do I get in touch with a psychiatrist or therapist? Which do you think will be more beneficial? Are they covered by health insurance? Any other advice would be great.

sigh;

and once again people blame their failure to work their problems out on a random new "personality disorder" which they think somehow saves them from the real blame

hey, maybe you can get put on some medication for it. im sure roche wouldnt mind

Well I'm not self-diagnosed... this morning was the first time I've ever heard the term. I'm not a hypochondriac, don't have ADD or any of that shit. I've just always had a hard time maintaining relationships, and the counselor seemed to have understood that, and this disorder seems to describe it perfectly.

I don't believe I can take a magic pill and be a new person, nor do I want to. But I've never considered therapy for it. That's why I'm asking. But thanks for the help.

im not a fuckup, i just have a disorder

way to go idiot, blame it on something, will make you feel better

no, really

its easier than actually admiting it has to do with you and your own decisions in life, and then trying to fix it yourself

I dunno much about this, but I'd avoid medications, because they might leave you dependent on them, and IMO it's the easy way out. And I'm under the impression that only Psychiatrists can actually prescribe meds? So get a psychologist.

Ahh confirmation: http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/simplepsych/5.html . Yeah. And therapist doesn't necessarily mean shit, I can call myself a therapist.

way to go idiot, blame it on something, will make you feel better

no, really

its easier than actually admiting it has to do with you and your own decisions in life, and then trying to fix it yourself

He's not blaming it on just something, he's blaming it on something about himself. Of course he can work to change it, but he's just accepting that it is something already within him and now he knows what to concentrate on. What you are prescribing is like avoiding something like OCD and simply saying people with OCD are weird or strange, rather than letting professionals understand the underlying causes and help develop programs to help these people. For instance, OCD is not just about people being odd, there is a biological basis for it. I'm not familiar with what he is talking about, but now he knows what to concentrate on to better himself.

Thanks Kiko, you worded it better than I could. I accept the fact that my current-day personality is of my own making. I'm only a victim to myself... not some mysterious force with a name. I can think of some events in my life that might've led to this problem becoming deep rooted in my personality, but just knowing these facts doesn't help. I know HOW to become closer to people, but when push comes to shove, I don't do it. And I don't know if I can solve a problem like this myself. I don't even know who I can reach out to in my personal life that could give me advice, which is why I turn to the internet.

That counselor today was the first person I've really ever talked to about my thoughts and feelings. My best friends have come to realize that I keep everything to myself. The girlfriends that I've managed to keep for short periods of times never really picked my brain. But once I start talking about it, the more I realize that something isn't right and hasn't been right for a long time.

Just go see a professional already so he can give you some pills to get high on. Remember to share.

Where do I find a professional though? I have a doctor that I visit yearly, but I just get checkups with him and I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to him about it.

what the fuck dont go to your GP?

visit a counselor; better than a psychologist or a psychiatrist because they deal with your problems more appropriately ( real life action/ emotion as opposed to "such and such and such disorder" or "this pill and that pill" (although hey nothing against pills, as long as they work , if you know what i mean)).

as to how to contact these people i would have thought this is common sense, never the less try something like

-the internet
-phone book
-citizens advice bureau

edit: ask your college counselor to refer you to someone he/she will know shit.

I used to be like that, and sometimes relapse back into that for short periods. It's not a disorder. It's called being a lazy fuck. Stop being a whiny little bitch. Get the fuck up. Next time you think "I'm going to do my homework....actually....nah, I'll do it tonight" FUCKING DO IT RIGHT THEN.

I used to think like this:

I'll do it when I get home from school. *gets home from school*
I'll do it after the simpsons *simpsons end*
I'll do it during the adds of the movie *skips it during the ads*
I'll stay up late and do it tonight *starts playing a MMORPG*
I'll do it in the morning before school *Doesn't do it at all*

Point is, that's not a disorder, nor is not kissing a chick, or not calling back a boss: It's plain laziness and social retardation. They try and label everything, they need to chill with that bullshit.

Don't go to a psychiatrist. I went just to get an antidepressant prescribed and got diagnosed with a fuckload of shit that I'm pretty sure they made up - not to mention a heap of prescriptions. Put in some effort and when you go to say "but I do put in effort" slap your self for being a little bitch. Grow the fuck up, stop labeling your failures. I wish some one would have told me this a few years back.

There are a heap of real mental disabilities/disorders out there that require serious attention, and this is not one of them.

Yeah excactly what the fuck it's plain laziness not some kind of disorder, your perfectly normal man.

I'm not sure whether to move this to Headshrinkers or not so it can stay here for the moment and we'll let wires decide as its her area of specialist knowledge.

well being lazy and not caring about your studies is not really a symptom of being an avoidant. If you avoid the activities because you fear that you will be criticize or rejected, then it's being avoidant.
However, since you mention that you have problems with relationships and a psychologists diagnosed you with Avoidant personality disorder, you might have it.
I think the best solution for this is to have more self-esteem and become proud of yourself. Appreciate the things that you have. Do not fear about other's rejection and do not feel overly embarrass when you do something.
People will like you more if you have confidence.

+100 rep points.

well being lazy and not caring about your studies is not really a symptom of being an avoidant. If you avoid the activities because you fear that you will be criticize or rejected, then it's being avoidant.

No, that's called being a dumbfuck who cares too much about other people's opinions. The solution for this situation is a boot to the face. You're probably used to relying on other people to help you do shit so then when you have to do it on your own you can't be fucked.

I'll help you out right now and save you from stupid medications that psychiatrists provide because they get bonus points from pharmaceutical companies. Ready?

Next time you want to get a job, answer the fucking phone.
Do your homework you lazy fuckface.
Want to kiss a girl at the end of a date? Fucking lean over and kiss her. Stop being such a goddamned pussy. If you want pussy you can't be one.

I think that solves your problem. Stop listening to these idiots who think you have some disorder. You don't. A disorder is something that's actually wrong with you. You're just lazy. Now follow my advice and see if shit doesn't get better really quickly.

lol kids these days "I cunt do mi homewerk...i must haf a disorder" :) I remember having auditory and visual hallucinations, paranoid delusions, severe anxiety, suicidal tendencies and a plethora of other shit and just being like "Meh...this is a phase".

I had anxiety problems. Actual problems. I'm also obsessive compulsive and probably have undiagnosed ADD. I used to have panic attacks like 10 times a day and paranoid episodes where I'd feel like shit was out to get me. Did I go bitch to some psychiatrist to get drugs? No. I faced my problems and learned how to deal with this shit. I stopped having panic attacks, and I manage my other problems just fine.

I stopped having panic attacks, and I manage my other problems just fine.

Haha...exactly man. It's all about putting in effort. And as much fun as the drugs are (Oh how I miss Xanax) they just make you a weaker person because they make you rely on something artificial. There are exceptions, but the OP is not one.

OP, go get some weights and start working out. Next time you go to a party bring a few extra beers. There's a saying: "You don't win friends with salad"...which I think means you do win friends with beer.

I had anxiety problems. Actual problems. I'm also obsessive compulsive and probably have undiagnosed ADD. I used to have panic attacks like 10 times a day and paranoid episodes where I'd feel like shit was out to get me. Did I go bitch to some psychiatrist to get drugs? No. I faced my problems and learned how to deal with this shit. I stopped having panic attacks, and I manage my other problems just fine.

Yeah, I've got to agree with you.
I also have OCD but I faced all that bullshit and say "I will not do this compulsions because it's stupid and nothing bad will happen". I didn't agree with the psychiatrist that I need some drugs to fix it. I think it's just a waste of money. I just need to fight the obsessions and don't even mind them at all. It feels really great nowadays since I barely have any worries brought about by the obsessions.

Yeah, I've got to agree with you.
I also have OCD but I faced all that bullshit and say "I will not do this compulsions because it's stupid and nothing bad will happen". I didn't agree with the psychiatrist that I need some drugs to fix it. I think it's just a waste of money. I just need to fight the obsessions and don't even mind them at all. It feels really great nowadays since I barely have any worries brought about by the obsessions.

Human will and human mind seem to be really underestimated these days.

This thread is depressing.

I was depressed when I made this thread... stopped smoking cigarettes a week ago and it's been hell on my mind and body. I don't need therapy... I've just been in a bad way for a few weeks now.

I might have the avoidance personality disorder, but I think I can manage it myself. It's hard for me to do stupid simple stuff, such as telling people that I love them, or call people to hang out, or check up on people. I guess I just have to think about these things more often and push myself to do them. I do get lazy and forget about people. I don't purposely avoid them, but that's how they interpret it. I don't think therapy could tell me what I don't already know.

edit: Reading over some of your replies now, lots of it is very true. I do tend to put things off, or just get lazy and avoid doing it until the last minute. I really don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks about me or my work, and don't care if I'm judged. So that doesn't really fit with the description of the disorder. Again, I was depressed when I made this thread and came off a little too dramatic. I do just need to grow a pair of balls, face the facts and get shit done.

So you're fine now, because some people made fun of you

what?