I don't know why I haven't posted this before it's been on my mind for a while now. I'm 18 and I have a little brother who is 13. I started getting into drugs around that age and that's exactly what he's doing. The problem is I don't want him to go down the same path as me. But I have a feeling that's exactly what's going to happen. It's like watching myself grow up it's so weird I just want to tell him shit like "don't do that or you'll end up like me" but it's just not that simple.

I was arrested when I was 14 for weed and put on 10 months of probation. By 15 I was in rehab. Then earlier this year I went to jail for drug charges, and now I'm on house arrest with a year of probation ahead of me. Both sides of my family have horrible horrible genes when it comes to addiction and drug/alcohol use.

This kid looks up to me and he's always in complete awe of the things I've done whether they're bad or good. But at this point I feel like it's too late to get him off this destructive life path. I try to keep a level of trust between me and him so that he'll at least tell me about things he gets into and his problems and shit like that. So last week he came home with a bag of weed and I made him smoke a couple bowls with me. But now I feel like shit because I feel like I just confirmed for him that this path is the right way to go.

In no way am I trying to say that weed is a gateway drug for everyone and that it isn't fun and all that stupid bullshit because I love marijuana it's been there by my side for a long time now and I will always smoke. But I feel like since I kind of "cheered him on" in a way by smoking with him this early in his life he's gonna do the same stupid shit I did. I care about the little fucker because we've been through a lot together it's not just your normal older brother/little brother relationship.

What can I do to steer him in the right direction? I know some of you will just say "tell him to quit smoking weed" and "don't do it with him anymore" but I already know this so if you have nothing better to say than that then don't bother posting. I need to find a way to stay on his side AND steer him in the right direction at the same time. A big part of the problem is that all his friends smoke weed and are the typical middle schooler little shitheads we all hate so that's why I think it's gonna be harder than just telling him to stop. Thanks.

Simple: You have to let him watch you OD, to scare him off drugs for life.

About age 12 my youngest (he's now 17) got in with some kids who smoked hash heavily.

My rule had and has always been "you may have A joint or A drink with your mates". Hell I used to let them sit in my car parked outside to smoke in winter (Another rule was NO drugs in the house).

He started smoking an awful lot. Enough to worry me as I don't view it as 'holy' or in anyway harmless. Its less harmful than alcohol but that doesn't make it good.

I didn't go on at him about it. Just told him why it wasn't good to smoke so much.

Slowly things in his life started to change for the better, he grew up and now I don't know when he last smoked..probably not since he was 16 or so because of his licence.

Chances are your brother will mature too and not need you as his ideal. Just talk to him calmly about it, advise him where you can (ie "you so do NOT want to buy from Frank, his gear is toxic"). Treat him the way you would an adult friend.

Oh and on the subject of "gateway" drugs. Whether you think its nonsense or not you DO need to be your brother's keeper a bit. I mean keep an eye on what he's doing and who he's getting it off.

I once had cause to send word to my son's Candy Man....words along the lines of " Everyone makes their money somehow. Some sell drugs, some guns, some girls..it don't matter. But for everyone there is a line. I ever hear you have even just offered my kid anything than hash then you'll have crossed that line. Ask around, ask about me. I don't care how good you think your connections are, mine are better. Oh and if I do have cause to visit you I'll bring Mr.V with me to take care of your little friends while you and I talk. You have a real nice day, ok?"

Thats your job as a brother.

Tell him that he is killing t3h bRaInn SeLLz!!!

Srsly, just sit him down and have a talk with him. Tell him pros-cons from your personal experience and let him make his own decision. That's really all you can do.

I smoke weed almost everyday, i've been using all kinds of drugs since I was 15, i've tried pretty much everything in my wild experimental days and got back to the point where I only really smoke weed again (and about once or twice a year some acid or shrooms)

My point is, that I had to learn everything myself. No matter what anyone said back in the day I would still do drugs... but I always did it responsibly.
My advice... educate the kid, do your best to keep him from getting in any legal troubles (the laws will ruin your life more then the drugs in most cases) and let him live his own life and experiance things for himself.

Live and learn, you can't keep him in a protective bubble...

This.

Same here. Replace occasional psychedelics with opiates.

when i was a teenager i was like this i used to experiment with quite a few drugs on a frequent basis. A few people older and more experinced than I give advice but no matter what they said i would still do drugs. I straightened up and don't really do anthing like that any more as i get random drug tests at work and is a great job but i still smoke weed once a year around christmas. People and especially teenagers have to learn to on their own. I know its really trying sometimes when you really care about someone, but sometimes they just gotta learn on thier own. Other than that be there for your brother when times get rough and help him along.

You guys are pretty lucky you got each other tho, I never had an older brother to help me through the awkward teen years. And my little brother died very young so i never had someone to look up to me growing up.

My parents had a policy of "You can smoke or drink whatever you like, as long as it's in our company and not behind the dumpster with some idiots".

They were the ones who introduced me to alcohol, and let me have a puff on a cigarette at a young age.

In retrospect, it was a good idea.

My parents had a policy of "You can smoke or drink whatever you like, as long as it's in our company and not behind the dumpster with some idiots".

They were the ones who introduced me to alcohol, and let me have a puff on a cigarette at a young age.

In retrospect, it was a good idea.

See, him and I live with our aunt and uncle and for the most part they are very strict when it comes to drugs. Not really anything else though. I pretty much do what I want but when I get busted for drugs it's a pretty big deal. I've put her through a ton of shit through the past with the whole jail thing and rehab and house arrest and all that shit, and that's another reason I don't want my brother to be like me. My aunt took me and my little brother in after some shit happened so I feel like I owe it to her to not make her go through the same things with my brother as she did with me.

See, him and I live with our aunt and uncle and for the most part they are very strict when it comes to drugs. Not really anything else though. I pretty much do what I want but when I get busted for drugs it's a pretty big deal. I've put her through a ton of shit through the past with the whole jail thing and rehab and house arrest and all that shit, and that's another reason I don't want my brother to be like me. My aunt took me and my little brother in after some shit happened so I feel like I owe it to her to not make her go through the same things with my brother as she did with me.

Talking to him is the best you can do.

"Enforcing" anything will only make him take it underground, which will be worse.

Talking to him is the best you can do.

"Enforcing" anything will only make him take it underground, which will be worse.

Yeah the last thing I wanna do is become "one of them." Once I reach that status all hope is lost.

I never did drugs so I can't say from experience but relating this situation to something else you would probably just want to ask him to limit how much he does. If you try to cut him off you'll definitely end up as "one of them" so just talk to him about your bad experiences with it and get him to keep it to a minimum.

have a fake E pill filled with datura extracts, I've only seen 1 of 17 kids go back to any sort of drug after that experience. I swear that is one of the most effective/ douchebag-y things a person can do to scare others off drugs.

I just happened to know the dealer that did that, I have nothing to do with the whole situation.

Hahaha! Wow that's incredibly fucked up. I can't imagine doing that to my little brother. It sounds like a good idea for revenge on someone though. Like "hey man don't worry about fucking my girlfriend man your only my best friend, I forgive you. Hey I got some really great E here have one!, ya know what just cuz Im a nice guy take 3!:D" lol.

Dude, besides what the rest said, make him aware the cops ARE gonna get him if they can so better not to play fun and games if it comes to them

You can get away with a whole lot more then just possesion if you keep you stay low profile :)

(reason i never give advice in certain other parts of totse)

No offense dark-easterbunny but that sounds a bit paranoid to me... there's a big difference between keeping a low profile and paranoia.

Edit- unless you personally know people from real life that post on totse lol.

same situation because im watching my sister do the same things i was doing.....
not good....
there really isn't anyway of getting through their heads.
to be quite frank.
it is always mind changing to see your grandma cry though...
the feelings that pass through you....
that is one way to veer him away from a wicked path.

I smoke weed almost everyday

My point is, that I had to learn everything myself. No matter what anyone said back in the day I would still do drugs... but I always did it responsibly.


Smoking weed every day is not responsible use.

Yeah, I think everyone has to learn it for themselves but be there for him. Communicate with him. Seriously. I mean does he know what you think about "harder" drugs? You should make your stance on them clear to him, and explain why, just in a stating your own opinion way, rather than a "this is what you should do" way. Chances are, if he respects you like you say he does, he'll follow suit.

Smoking weed every day is not responsible use.


Its all perspective man... weed just chills me out and helps me sleep after a day of work. Its no more harmful than the person who uses caffiene every morning to wake up and help start the day.

I see nothing wrong with it personally, unless you're doing it to the point its starts to interfere with the rest of your life.

Its no more harmful than the person who uses caffiene every morning to wake up and help start the day.


Source?

Source?
http://ruminations.jamesreyes.com/2008/02/marijuana-about-as-safe-as-caffeine.html


http://www.jackherer.com/comparison.html

http://www.procon.org/viewbackgroundresource.asp?resourceID=1492

http://ruminations.jamesreyes.com/2008/02/marijuana-about-as-safe-as-caffeine.html


Okay, well that data is actually completely irrelevant. This is why: something can be the most additive substance in the world, but that doesn't mean it does damage. Think about it, if you were addicted to lettuce, and if you didn't eat at least 3 leaves of lettuce a day you would experience terrible withdrawal. As opposed to your merely habitual (not addicted) use of say, huffing raid. So, sure, they're important factors, especially as caffeine is not lettuce, but it doesn't actually give any indication of damage.


http://www.jackherer.com/comparison.html


Wow, okay so no one dies from smoking weed. Once again, that doesn't mean it doesn't do lasting damage. Sure, it won't kill you, but I'm not sure caffeine alone can be blamed for "stress, ulcers, and triggering irregular heartbeats."


Drinking coffee in moderation usually has little influence on blood pressure. Major studies in the UK and US concluded that moderate caffeine consumption (up to six cups of coffee a day) wouldn't significantly increase the risk of heart disease or stroke for most people.

http://www.procon.org/viewbackgroundresource.asp?resourceID=1492

Once again, that just looks at addictivity, rather than damage. I'm sure you didn't put a lot of effort into finding those links, but that's fairly unconvincing data.

Anyway, sorry to derail the thread.

Don't tell him not to do it.

I guess what I'd do is just keep smoking it with him, but tell him not to be stupid. Something like "If you're going to smoke, smoke with me and don't do stupid shit." of course, say something better than that...But yeah you catch my drift.

How did you get 10 months probation in Ohio?

But anyway, what worked for me, though it might be a bit worse given your age difference, was my brother basically slapping the shit out of me. I was in a really similar situation, but he was only 3 years ahead of me, and while it didn't completely turn me off of drugs, I was definitely heading down a much worse path than where I've ended up now.

Also, if he looks up to you, you could just drill it into him. Just be really serious and offer good advice and tips and all that. Just teach him to be responsible and reserve beating on him for if he ventures out and starts to do harder shit or fucks up.

Its all perspective man... weed just chills me out and helps me sleep after a day of work. Its no more harmful than the person who uses caffiene every morning to wake up and help start the day.
.

Voodoo, this is the kind of nonsense , the kind of "holy weed" hippy bullshit, you need to be talking to your brother about. You know already that simply saying "stop smoking its bad for you" won't work. But by getting him to question and see through all the bullshit on both sides of the debate he'll , hopefully, mature and use it in a sensible way.

Maybe something like "Bro, think about it. You do weed because it has an effect, right? You wouldn't do it if it didn't make you feel good. Simple common fucking sense should tell you that anything you take because it has a 'good' effect- don't matter if its herbal, chemical or medical- will also have negative effects or side effects. There isn't a single pill that doesn't come without a list of possible side effects.

You'd laugh at any alcoholic who tried to claim that alcohol wasn't harmful, right? Well keep that in mind when junkies tell you that hash is less harmful than coffee, right?"

Or "Hash heads get really worked up if you call them "junkies", they'll bring all kinds bullshit about how it isn't addictive. But look at them, look at how they live, watch them first thing in the morning. I've seen their hand shake until they get that first hit."

Like I said, talk to him like an adult. Get him to think for himself about it. Thats the key to him giving it up/only using it in a responsible manner (God I hate that phrase).

Jack you lyin'.

Voodoo, this is the kind of nonsense , the kind of "holy weed" hippy bullshit, you need to be talking to your brother about. You know already that simply saying "stop smoking its bad for you" won't work. But by getting him to question and see through all the bullshit on both sides of the debate he'll , hopefully, mature and use it in a sensible way.


Piss off, this isn't hippy bullshit at all.

Sure, I smoke a lot of weed, I know the daily thing does turn a lot of people into slobs- especially if they start to overdo it and lose self control. But thats not true for everyone. I'm not talking about getting totally blazed out of my skull everynight either... I mean a hit or two to take the edge off the day before I go to sleep. It works wonders, and I always wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to go (don't even need a coffee).

I agree its not for everyone, but it is possible to make it work while still remaining a perfectly normal and functioning member of society.

Sure, I drink a lot of booze, I know the daily thing does turn a lot of people into slobs- especially if they start to overdo it and lose self control. But thats not true for everyone. I'm not talking about getting totally Brahms 'n Liszt everynight either... I mean a slug or two to take the edge off the day before I go to sleep. It works wonders, and I always wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to go (don't even need a coffee).

I agree its not for everyone, but it is possible to make it work while still remaining a perfectly normal and functioning member of society.

Maybe you're telling truth boy but thats^^ what you sound like.

Best thing you can do...protect him from shitty people who might use your brother. (AKA selling him bud at $20 per gram of shit-brick or "hey man, throw down $20 on this sack?")





Piss off, this isn't hippy bullshit at all.

Sure, I smoke a lot of weed, I know the daily thing does turn a lot of people into slobs- especially if they start to overdo it and lose self control. But thats not true for everyone. I'm not talking about getting totally blazed out of my skull everynight either... I mean a hit or two to take the edge off the day before I go to sleep. It works wonders, and I always wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to go (don't even need a coffee).

I agree its not for everyone, but it is possible to make it work while still remaining a perfectly normal and functioning member of society.

QFT

Once again, that just looks at addictivity, rather than damage. I'm sure you didn't put a lot of effort into finding those links, but that's fairly unconvincing data.

Anyway, sorry to derail the thread.

Yeah I wasn't trying to make a big deal out of it but I had those bookmarked so I figured I might as well. I mean it's an extremely loose topic to argue over in the first place and I really don't care that much in the first place lol.

How did you get 10 months probation in Ohio?


That was back when I lived in Wyoming a few years ago, not here in Ohio. I got busted with a half of good weed and a pipe and originally I was told 6 to 8 months but somehow (even after passing all my drug tests) and now getting in trouble once, they kept me on 10 fucking months for some reason. I hate being on probation so much.

Voodoo, this is the kind of nonsense , the kind of "holy weed" hippy bullshit, you need to be talking to your brother about. You know already that simply saying "stop smoking its bad for you" won't work. But by getting him to question and see through all the bullshit on both sides of the debate he'll , hopefully, mature and use it in a sensible way.

Maybe something like "Bro, think about it. You do weed because it has an effect, right? You wouldn't do it if it didn't make you feel good. Simple common fucking sense should tell you that anything you take because it has a 'good' effect- don't matter if its herbal, chemical or medical- will also have negative effects or side effects. There isn't a single pill that doesn't come without a list of possible side effects.

You'd laugh at any alcoholic who tried to claim that alcohol wasn't harmful, right? Well keep that in mind when junkies tell you that hash is less harmful than coffee, right?"

Or "Hash heads get really worked up if you call them "junkies", they'll bring all kinds bullshit about how it isn't addictive. But look at them, look at how they live, watch them first thing in the morning. I've seen their hand shake until they get that first hit."

Like I said, talk to him like an adult. Get him to think for himself about it. Thats the key to him giving it up/only using it in a responsible manner (God I hate that phrase).


Yeah I see what you're saying. I know there's a ton of things I wish people would have told me back when I first started getting into drugs. Like how easy it is to get busted or arrested if your even the slightest bit too careless. I don't know how seriously he'd take it though because that's more one of those things you learn through experience.

I just wanna be sure that I know I did all I can to give him the knowledge to be smart an mature with it. Because I know he's most likely gonna do drugs no matter what I tell him but as long as I know I didn't sit back and not even try to guide him a bit with it to keep him from going through the same hell I went through.