... and now I'm at an impasse of sorts.

My best friend E had a long relationship with a girl, R, who I banged prior to meeting him. The three of us have been long-standing friends for some time now, almost a year.

Well, they've broken up. Despite this, I know that they fuck on a regular basis. Knowing this, I still pursued her and ended up fucking her. She goes and fucks E again and in doing so admits to having fucked me. The problem is that E still really likes her and he knows that I know this. He also knows that I know that R told him we fucked.

This guy is like my best mate. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck, especially since I know he isn't looking for revenge, but I would hate to have this guy hate me. Why burn bridges when you don't have to? Why burn bridges when you don't want to? Maybe I should have considered the more realistic implications of what I was doing before I slept with R, but all the blood was rushing to the head beneath my navel. Now I just want things to be cool with E.

Is this possible, S&A? Have I fucked things up too badly? Both myself and E have egos the size of freight trains. I'm looking for advice to help me mend my friendship or, barring that, choose an appropriate action going forward.

Either quit fucking R or quit being friends with E.

It's not like you had to fuck her, I mean can get other girls... right?

alot of dudes I know would whip the guys ass for that...friends or not...thats not cool...could you guys do a 3 sum?

Clone thread.

https://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2174003

You need to give him an I.O.U.

He can either:

A. Beat the fuck out of you (not just a punch, I mean beat you)
B. Fuck your next love interest.

This is what I'd demand. If you refused, I'd still go with A, then try my hardest for B just to spite you.

maybe, instead of asking the opinion of totse (wich is horrible... take for instance arquin) maybe you should apologize to your friend and ASK HIM, if there's anything to... compensate for what you did

course, i understand if he's not important enough to set your ego aside for this

@arquin: I do believe you have experienced the flip side of this scenario before, yes?

@Agent008: I promise, this is not a clone thread. That guy was best friends with his mate for 9 years, not one.

As for apologizing.. it's almost as though I feel that E has no right to be upset. He's not dating her; he's fucking her on the side, like I did, only more often. So he still has feelings for her, and as my friend, I didn't want to hurt him. But he's got no right to be upset, if he even is. I'm about to leave for a non-nookie outing with R, and will elicit more details re: his feelings.

Sounds like a bunch of unnecessary drama to me. Id be tempted to kick your ass for such an action. WTF is the matter with you, He still likes her, and they were still fucking? Kinda desperate dont ya think?

Bottom line is your a pussy, You seriously couldnt go out to find some other girl to bang, so you took the short road and had sex with a girl you have known a long ass time. And this chick happened to be your buddies X. Great job fuck nugget

this.

I think the answer is E = R - s

Maybe a timeline will help me sort this out.

I met R in April of 2007 and we were an item until at least late June of the same year. I cut off contact until January 2008. By now she's dating E and I'm out: I want nothing to do with her sexually or romantically. We're all friends, hanging out and doing not shit until she broke up with the guy a couple of weeks ago. She'd been on-and-off with him over and over again for the past eight weeks. She said she was pretty much done with him. I didn't realize that she was still fucking him. I knew that he cared but when she got all over me I forgot all about that. Now, I guess she's going back and forth. She's not committed to me nor I to her, and she's not committed to him either.

Now totse, I know this girl's probably trouble. I'm starting to think that it follows her around. And yes I can just fuck another girl. I didn't ask for girl advice. I'm asking for advice for how to deal with my friend. Surely somebody has some sincere fucking concern for my situation.

(By the way, I went to see her today, waited for her for hours, called her a couple times and went home. She never showed. I still don't know how my friend is feeling.)

My best friend E had a long relationship with a girl, R, who I banged prior to meeting him. The three of us have been long-standing friends for some time now, almost a year.

Epic win.

Well, they've broken up. Despite this, I know that they fuck on a regular basis. Knowing this, I still pursued her and ended up fucking her. She goes and fucks E again and in doing so admits to having fucked me. The problem is that E still really likes her and he knows that I know this. He also knows that I know that R told him we fucked.

Moar epic win. How'd a guy like you end up caught in the deep south??

Anyways...

This guy is like my best mate. Normally I wouldn't give a fuck, especially since I know he isn't looking for revenge, but I would hate to have this guy hate me. Why burn bridges when you don't have to? Why burn bridges when you don't want to? Maybe I should have considered the more realistic implications of what I was doing before I slept with R, but all the blood was rushing to the head beneath my navel. Now I just want things to be cool with E.

Normally, this would be really fucking easy. Either they're a committed monogamous heterosexual couple who perform sexual activities under church sanction exclusively in the missionary position, or they are not. If they are one, they are not the other, and if they are the other, they are not the one, so really, knocking her up and passing off the sloppy seconds while you make him raise your bastard love-child is perfectly acceptable. It's not like they're a couple at all.

Unfortunately, we're in the real world rather than it should be... and, well... most people - such as your friend - are really a conflicted bundle of confused and tangled emotions that they don't understand, rather than any sort of wholehearted committment to their choices, their actions, or the real world around them. 'n because of that, you get shit like "gee yeah we broke up but I can't believe you're fucking her because she's mine even though we explicitly rejected any relational status with each other and..."

Yeah. "Tangled web of conflicted emotions." We have enough trouble untangling our own; unraveling other people isn't likely to be any easier.

So, instead, I'm going to propose a solution alternate to just thumbprinting your friend and letting him sort his own damned self out. The logical solution to the situation the three of you have is to... acknowledge what already is. Forge a polyamorous, tribal friends-with-benefits pact that leaves anything one of the three of you pick up on the side as completely subservient to the non-committed bonds of friendship with fornication that binds your relationship together. You'll be able to save on rent, and pursue anything that interests you on the side without having to sacrifice the security of your closely-knit tribe. Plus, you could always use it as an excuse to start a commune and organic farm in a temperate rain forest or something...

~shrug~ It's what's already going on. Why not just acknowledge it and use open communication to iron out any kinks?

Just a thought...

well i'm the guy from that parallel thread, and i'm never talking to the fuck as long as i live.
he's a piece of shit.
if you're mate is worth the time to patch things up that's great,
otherwise, beat his ass down.

Epic win.



Moar epic win. How'd a guy like you end up caught in the deep south??

Anyways...



Normally, this would be really fucking easy. Either they're a committed monogamous heterosexual couple who perform sexual activities under church sanction exclusively in the missionary position, or they are not. If they are one, they are not the other, and if they are the other, they are not the one, so really, knocking her up and passing off the sloppy seconds while you make him raise your bastard love-child is perfectly acceptable. It's not like they're a couple at all.

Unfortunately, we're in the real world rather than it should be... and, well... most people - such as your friend - are really a conflicted bundle of confused and tangled emotions that they don't understand, rather than any sort of wholehearted committment to their choices, their actions, or the real world around them. 'n because of that, you get shit like "gee yeah we broke up but I can't believe you're fucking her because she's mine even though we explicitly rejected any relational status with each other and..."

Yeah. "Tangled web of conflicted emotions." We have enough trouble untangling our own; unraveling other people isn't likely to be any easier.

So, instead, I'm going to propose a solution alternate to just thumbprinting your friend and letting him sort his own damned self out. The logical solution to the situation the three of you have is to... acknowledge what already is. Forge a polyamorous, tribal friends-with-benefits pact that leaves anything one of the three of you pick up on the side as completely subservient to the non-committed bonds of friendship with fornication that binds your relationship together. You'll be able to save on rent, and pursue anything that interests you on the side without having to sacrifice the security of your closely-knit tribe. Plus, you could always use it as an excuse to start a commune and organic farm in a temperate rain forest or something...

~shrug~ It's what's already going on. Why not just acknowledge it and use open communication to iron out any kinks?

Just a thought...

If nothing else, you've brightened my day.

Thank you JoePedo. To the rescue once again.

Situation resolved.

If nothing else, you've brightened my day.

Thank you JoePedo. To the rescue once again.

Situation resolved.

No matter what actually happened - the timestamps are epic. ;)

Does he know you were fucking her before hand?

Yes, although I expressed genuine disinterest in fucking her again at the time.

you fucked up. its funny he dated her after you fucked her (my best bud did the same thing with this beez i had gotten down with) and got all pissed off when he found out i fucked her before. apologize to the homie and dont fuck the chick behind his back.
youll be lucky if hes still your boy after this, good luck.