Okay so here's the deal. Me and my girl have been dating for almost 2 years. We have a ton of stuff in common, I'm training to be a Paramedic, shes in nursing school. We both listen to the same music, love the same movies, ect. I love her with all my heart and she loves me with all of hers too, I've already told her I want to marry her, but she wants to wait until after college because she thinks it would be too weird to have an engagement ring blah blah blah. Long story short, I don't want to wait, I'm ready to ask her parents permission and all of it. So here's my question: Should I just chill out and wait, or should i get a promise ring or something along those lines. Yes i know I'm retarded for coming to totse for help but I don't know what I should do. Please help

Wait til you're both done training for your careers. Why are you rushing to get married? If the relationship lasts another 2 years or whatever, chances are a marriage will work out. Stop mentioning it to her, though. Just let the relationship develop.

She's already said she's not ready. What more do you need? Wait until she feels the same way you do. There's no need to rush into it.

but she wants to wait until after college because she thinks it would be too weird to have an engagement ring blah blah blah.

This equals a no.

So just wait man, don't force such a big decision. You may be ready for it, but it's a partnership and you don't want to end up a part of the 50% divorce rate, now do you?

My guess is rushing it is probably the worst thing you could do. What could you possibly benefit from being married while still in school, to me it seems like it would be added stress. And when you're both done with school you'll have been dating a lot longer and both be completely eager to get married which will make the whole getting married part a lot more fun.

Okay, thanks for the help. I kinda figured on this, but just wanted some other opinions. Thanks

Wait a year or two and sort of probe the issue again. I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend sooner or later myself, but that doesn't really mean we're going to rush through it and get married. She may feel a little iffy about actually getting married, but staying engaged for a few years may be a good way to satisfy the both of you.

You don't want to miss the boat, man. If you let her keep going to college without a ring on that finger, well, you're basically asking for her to ditch you. When she says "Nah that'd be weird, etc" she's practically beggin you for it. What's a girl gotta do, man? I'd run over to her house and do it right now if I were you.

I'm kinda having to lean with Malkog on this one...depending on your girlfriend of course.

Most girls I know who are excited about their relationship are all about telling people, and screaming it from mountain tops, and LOVE hearing the question of how he proposed and when is the date?

Chicks normally digg the symbolism of being taken, and the fact that their better half is using a symbol to say that he is taken.
Try not to be pushy about getting married, just tell her that you bought a ring to show that you are taken and that if she wanted to wear one, you bought two. ;)
So I guess you should call it a promise ring.

What the FUCK?

If you think she'll ditch you for waiting a few years, this marriage is a BAD IDEA.

What the FUCK?

If you think she'll ditch you for waiting a few years, this marriage is a BAD IDEA.

Nah man, marriage is one of those things you just have to do when you get the urge. Otherwise you might end up old and alone. As opposed to old, divorced, and alone.

Yeah. I was kidding. I don't know how someone actually agreed with me...

Offer a pig to her father.

That way you don't need her permission.

By the way, the best time to get married is 24-27.

I wont give any reason why, just take my advice.

I know people who have gotten married at the age of 17-20.

Needless to say they are idiots and live in southern poverty.

first of all a promise ring dont mean shit.

secondly, she doesn't sound like she wants to marry you.

This is what i was going to say. Don't even think about marriage until at least senior year of college. Don't be a stupid kid "marriage is so great". It is not a decision to be made lightly.

I once dated a girl in high school (before cell phones that would fit in your pocket), and though we were going to get married. 3 months later, she turned into a psychbitch, and I broke up with her. 5 years later, I had graduated college, was living with my then-girlfriend. We got married, and it has been great.

If you push her into it when she already told you that she wants to wait she will dump you for pressuring her.
I sure as hell know that if I told someone to wait and he kept pressing the issue I would drop him faster than it took you to read this sentence.
Although I will add a disclaimer to the fact that I am horrendously terrified of marriage and permanent commitment, so that might just be me.

Why would it be weird to have an engagement ring? It's weird of her to say that's weird. I mean, getting married so early may seem a little against the norm, but having that symbol of love until the actual marriage is different.

I mean, I understand that love doesn't need a symbol. But she's a woman. And women like shiny things that come in small boxes. Besides, you want other guys to look at her and instantly know she's unfuckable. Well...morally unfuckable. It's a win/win.

When did marrying young become abnormal? It's taken almost 9000 years for it to become weird to marry a girl in the 11-17 range. Is it already weird for 18-24s to marry?

When did marrying young become abnormal? It's taken almost 9000 years for it to become weird to marry a girl in the 11-17 range. Is it already weird for 18-24s to marry?

Where I live? Yes.

When did marrying young become abnormal? It's taken almost 9000 years for it to become weird to marry a girl in the 11-17 range. Is it already weird for 18-24s to marry?

No, I never said it was weird. I just mean it is not as common. The majority wait until after college, like late twenties.

But hell, I think it's pretty damn romantic when two people get married young.

Offer a pig to her father.

That way you don't need her permission.

By the way, the best time to get married is NEVER.

I wont give any reason why, just take my advice.

I know people who have gotten married at the age of 17-20.

Needless to say they are idiots and live in southern poverty.

fixed

Well I don't want to marry her like next week, even if I propose right now, I don't want to actually get married until after we get out of school. I just want it as someone said, to show we belong to one another and as a key sign for any guy who isn't a piece of shit to know to stay away from my girl

In other words, you don't trust your girlfriend not to cheat on you, so you want her to wear a ring that will hopefully keep guys away?

No, I trust her, I want to take our relationship to the next step

If you want to take it to the next step, ask her to move in with you. That shows commitment

seriously, just chill as long as she knows how you feel and ur honest with each other, u'll be fine. It just sounds like she's not ready....which is weird cos normally its guys who dont wanna settle down.