If you were a cop...would you ever do background checks on potential/current boyfriends/girlfriends?

If you worked for a phone company would you ever check phone records of boyfriends/girlfriend?

This applies to any job where you have access to private information. Think about it this way: Your relationship is getting a bit rocky, your partner is getting a bit distant. Would YOU ever snoop?

Be as honest with your self as you can.

*edit* I guess you can also add looking through cell phones and looking through emails. That's an equally large breach of trust and invasion of privacy, no?

Fuck no. I'm naturally a very curious person and like knowing as much as I can about a partner but if I'm in a relationship with real serious trust then I'd rather not go behind that persons back to find out shit that I would probably rather not know in the first place.

Everyone has things in their past that they're ashamed of and as people we have to move past that shit. People change over time, sometimes very dramatically, and most of the time the shit you're gonna find out about that persons past is only going to get in the way of your feelings for them.

Also, when you snoop into someones past the things you find out tend to linger in your mind and that urge to confront the person about it only gets worse and worse with time. Then if you do confront the person it shows that you breached their trust and can completely ruin a relationship.

In other words... there's just some things I'd MUCH rather not know about certain people and their pasts.

Good thread idea arquin.

Hell, my girl had left her facebook logged in and I saw this guy trying to be slick and flirt with her in her inbox.

She stopped that fucker and shut him down, plus added that her boyfriend would have no qualms beating this creeper's ass up if he didn't cut it out.

Made me feel nice and warm inside.

I love my girl.

:)

Please pardon my prejudice, but if i were a cop i'd either quit my job or molotov everything/huff raid.

But in answer to the OP's question, yes i would probably end up doing background checks on everyone i knew, if only just for lulz.

Please pardon my prejudice, but if i were a cop i'd either quit my job or molotov everything/huff raid.


This.

But I wouldn't. I'd like others to respect my privacy, and I know that if there's anything important there, they'll tell me sooner or later if it's important. Otherwise, I'm not too big on living in the past so I'd give it a miss.

Everyone has things in their past that they're ashamed of and as people we have to move past that shit. People change over time, sometimes very dramatically, and most of the time the shit you're gonna find out about that persons past is only going to get in the way of your feelings for them.


Good thread idea arquin.

Absolutely. If you've developed a persona about a person based on who they are when you meet them, and a few months down the line add a random fact about their lives/family/previous relationships, it's going to screw with the way you see that person.

If you love the person that you are dating, why add unneeded nonsense that will only distort the image of who the person really is?

And beside, if you've ever been in a serious relationship, you know that they are based off of feelings, NOT facts.

I probably would check up on everyone I knew, just out of curiousity.

I wouldn't tell anyone about anything I found out though. It would be solely for my own interest.


*ObZ

E: Snooping through emails and cell phones seems wrong to me...I don't know, double standards I guess.

I can't be assed to evaluate my motives and values over something that will never happen.

You guys need to look at all the scenarios. What about if you worked at the phone company and lately she'd been distant towards you and going out with no explanation of where she's been/pathetic excuses? You wouldn't check who's been calling? Check her phone?

I mean it's good you all wouldn't look at the past, I wouldn't either. But I'd be tempted to look at the present. See what she's done the past 2 weeks, month, etc.

Here's an example:

Your girlfriend comes over.

You: Hey babe
Her: Hey *distant*
You: want something to eat?
Her: nah I've eaten.
You: Oh what did you eat?
Her: I went to Mario's Pasta with Sarah and John.
You: Oh cool.

A few weeks later you talk to Sarah about taking your girlfriend on a date, you mention the restaurant, she says "what? I never went with your girlfriend".

In this scenario, if you were the phone company guy, the cop or a private investigator, would you snoop?

I can't be assed to evaluate my motives and values over something that will never happen.

lol, I ask because in a few months I'll be starting a Private Investigation course among other, and can see it getting ugly when coupled with a constant curiosity and random bouts of paranoia.

I worked for my countries biggest phone company and I'd always check every one of my friends accounts for the lol'z. Most didn't care, most thought it was a cool ability, one got super pissed off (because they racked up major bills and didn't pay them). I was shocked when this friend got cut...so obviously I'd like to see what's considered normal.

Yes. I exploit anything I can.

E: For an example, if I had access to the police system I would look up high profile/rich people near me, find out their crimes, then blackmail them, threating to tell the entire community. Not for too much money though. Just a couple hundred or maybe more depending on the crime they committed.

And more on topic, I don't think looking up someones police record is any indicator of a bad relationship. At least not to me. If a girl did it to me I would be cool with it as long as she didn't tell anyone else.

Of course going to said girlfriend about the problem would be my first priority, then dumping, then snooping, then posting naked pics on totse.
If it was only a feeling driving me to ask questions and the answers weren't completely on par, I would still reconsider doing something that drastic. There is a huge risk involved while snooping into the past like that...and if you do a background check, you're going to get more than a couple of weeks worth.
I would have to be sure the relationship was over before I did something like a background check, or phone history search...then again, if it got to that point, the relationship should probably already be over.
That's just me though, I'm a pretty trusting guy...and no it hasn't always paid off.

who needs to be a cop, this is why google was invented

but seriously, i would get a phone history if i suspected her of cheating, or because i was bored

your girlfriend kicks ass, and i would only do it if it was left up and ive lost her trust for one reason or another. I also hate doing shit behind peoples backs so yeah, i would rather just confront her if i suspected something.

If I don't trust her why not. If shit's got to the point where I can reasonably suspect something is up, and I can't trust her, I'm going to check that shit out.

Maybe it's a breach in privacy, but I figure the results are:
A) I'm right, bitch needs to GTFO. Cheating whore etc. No harm done.
B) I'm wrong. Nothing going on. Now I regret my actions a bit, but at the same time am thankful I won't end up fucking up our relationship due to my paranoia. Instead of spending the next few months being paranoid, untrusting, and suspicious of my girlfriend, and fucking everything up, I'm now reassured that my girlfriend loves me (or at least isn't doing anything devious).

fuck yes.

I have no scruples.

No, I'd just ask her what the fuck was going on. Fuck snooping. It would only make matters worse.

I'm really big on respecting people's privacy so I absolutely would NOT go looking into background checks or emails or phone messages.
At the moment I know the password to my boyfriend's email account, facebook, and computer. I have absolutely no desire to log on to any of these and go snooping. I even know that he's been in email contact with his ex girlfriend for the last 4 years to the point where they practically had a long distance relationship. This is because we've talked about it and he's shown me how often they used to contact each other. I was never even curious.
Right now I trust him implicitly and have no reason to doubt him, though at some point when I did, I would confront him about it. Theres no need to sneak around when you can just be upfront about things.

No, I'd just ask her what the fuck was going on. Fuck snooping. It would only make matters worse.

and this.

If I were a cop, I would arrest her, and then have kinky sex with her in the interrogation chamber.

lol, I ask because in a few months I'll be starting a Private Investigation course among other, and can see it getting ugly when coupled with a constant curiosity and random bouts of paranoia.

I worked for my countries biggest phone company and I'd always check every one of my friends accounts for the lol'z. Most didn't care, most thought it was a cool ability, one got super pissed off (because they racked up major bills and didn't pay them). I was shocked when this friend got cut...so obviously I'd like to see what's considered normal.

I think I'd be the same. Honestly, I wouldn't snoop out of suspicion. Just curiousity/boredom.

And I really wouldn't care if someone did the same to me. ...I would just like to know if they did it.

thats chill :P

dude you don't have to be a cop to look up records

yea, i probably would. my step dad committed manslaughter, got 2 public ludenesses and 3 DUIS. BTW and he's never told anyone. good to know.

I would beat black men for committing petty crimes.

Yes. Would, have, will again. If you're stupid enough to lie to me and too stupid to cover your ass, I will find out.

You're a crazy bitch. I like it :)

You're a crazy bitch. I like it :)

A lot of guys tend to find psycho bitch a turn on. I think it has something to do with being psycho in the sack too, though I've found that there are just as many sane girls who can be just a freaky.