I'm so sick of this cycle I've been in. I broke up with this girl after almost 3 years about a month ago, we didn't talk, then we talked again, I started being affectionate again, and she clearly told me that she could definitely feel the same way about me again, she was just feeling down and the distance was an obvious issue (we're both in college, about 2 and a half hours away with no vehicle for either of us).

Well she suddenly does this thing where she obviously is avoiding me, turns off her phone, doesn't return my calls, one word answer texts rarely. I know that I don't want to seem needy and simply stop talking, but its so back and forth that I am confused into continuing to try. This is around the fifth time or so that she has suddenly distanced herself from me. I am so stressed out about schoolwork, being a neuroscience major, and I end up stressing more about the fact that she won't speak to me. It logically makes sense in my head that I need to cease all contact and focus on my work, but thoughts about her intrude on my work constantly.

I recently came to the conclusion that perhaps I am dealing with a girl with an actual problem. On the surface, she is an outgoing, confident girl, seemingly has it all together. I found out about a year into our relationship that she was molested as a child, however. What does this do to a girl? How does this manifest as the girl matures? I am 20 and she is 19. I guess I'm wondering if I'm fighting a losing battle; I love her, but I wonder if it will ever work again...

Any similar experiences or advice would be much appreciated, my schoolwork suffers due to my overall stressing over being without her. Other girls seem uninteresting and very shallow, and I don't think that its just me. I'm very frustrated and have no idea where to go from here.

Lastly, if there's any female input... what could be going through her head? Does she want me to just disappear?

Dude she's probably fucking some one else. Hate to break it to you, but your post indicates to this.

fair enough, I have asked her if there was anyone else and she tells me no. I say if there is it would be better if you just told me, she says I would tell you. Of course I am not saying this means it's not true... what about my post makes you think this?

She doesn't matter to you anymore. You broke up, and neither of you can see each other. Erase her from your phone, facebook, everything. Put everything that reminds you of her in a box and put it somewhere you won't touch it. If it's on your comp, burn it to a cd or dvd and put it in the box. Put everything that makes you think of her in the box. Without external stimuli, you'll think of her less and less.

Stop thinking about what she's doing. Stop thinking about her life, her past, her mistakes, your mistakes, your relationship with her, and her.

She's moved on, and you need to as well. It's all over, so start acting like it. She does not want you. You do not want her. You're 2.5 hours away from her with no way whatsoever to go see her. Plus, you're taking a difficult course of study. Study and go out to meet new people. Make friends, talk to as many girls as you can. You'll find an interesting one sooner rather than later if you actually put forth the effort.

Don't think, just do this and it'll get better.

She's probably lying. Why does she have to tell you anything? Actually, why would she tell you anything? Move on.

What do you want?

You say you're both in college, with more than two hours of distance between you. What extactly is supposed to happen? You expect her to shut off all her other relationships so she can talk through texts to a guy who is CLEARLY insecure and clingy (no offense to you). She's in college. I say put your own insecurities, and your own needs behind you. Let her enjoy herself.

Just move on man.