For my whole life I have liked girls, but a few times in my life I have questioned my orientation due to small attraction to guys. But that always blew over after a few days. Now Im really questioning it cuz I find myself attracted to guys. Not just any guys, only good looking ones. Its also the same with girls. When I masturbate, I could orgasm to a naked girl or a guy. But I have liked girls for my whole life and just recently I started being decently attracted to guys. Do u think this is a phase?

post a pic of yourself and well tell you

Oh yea I forgot to mention, in 5th grade I "liked" a girl or w/e u call it. She was all I thought about, and all i wanted. But Im 15 now so I dont know. Please after u post, tell me how knowledgable u r. I just dont wanna consider answers from someone who is clueless. But if u r clueless, still contribute please. Please take this seriously guys, cuz Im really trying to figure out my orientation. Thanks. And Im a guy incase u havent figured that out.

Yea, U R G4yz0rz if u eVa tHiNk of a gUY!!!111!!11!!1!


In seriousness, few people are 'totally' straight in that they've never ever even had the thought of being gay etc, but I wouldn't worry about it, be who you want to be and with who you want to, no reason to need to call yourself something that's not 100% you ..

NIGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEERR

;)

How old are you? While some people do go through a bi-curious 'phase', I'd say it becomes less likely the older you get, since it tends to be associated with all the hormones and such in earlier adolescense.

Also, you have to consider one thing: It's comparatively easier for a male to be attracted to females, because it's socially accepted. So you recently discovering your attraction for the same sex doesn't necessarily mean a whole lot, because it's generally not natural for a person to expect for homosexual attraction to be there, while it is natural to expect one's self to be straight, most times, due to all the social messages we've received growing up and such.

So, one is directly in line with the social norm (heterosexuality) and one is obviously a bit more opposed (homosexuality), so I think it's a bit natural you'd discover you're interested in males after realizing your interest in females, whatever your orientation happens to be, because the one is just easier to come to terms with, socially. It's easier to fulfill social expectations than to discard them.

If you think it might be a 'phase', just don't bother trying to classify yourself. The whole 'gay', 'straight', and 'bi' thing is a recent cultural invention. It's just a word that's an easy way of saying what genders you tend to be interested in. It's more for convenience than anything (communicating to others what people you're interested in sexually, demystifying the very complex world of human sexuality so it can simply be navigated a little bit eaiser.) But none of those things are of utmost importance to the individual. A person can easily live in a state of uncertainty about one's orientation.

Also, in the case of sexuality, it's rarely black and white. A gay person can feel attraction for a woman, just not as a rule. Likewise, bisexual people can have preferences for one gender or the other, etc. Needless to say it's kind of complicated, and there's no nned to rush in 'figuring it out.'

I'd either just see myself as tentatively bi, since as you said you're attracted to both. In most things, it's better to just go with your first impressions. You say you're attracted to both, therefore it's unlikely you'll be classified as strictly 'gay' or 'straight', at this point. Just enjoy the middle ground you happen to find yourself in.

Or better yet, not even worry about it at all. Feel attracted to people you find attractive, but don't bother trying to come to an 'identity' about it.

Im 15 turning 16 in May.

Why put a label on it? You are attracted to who you are attracted to, be it a man or a woman. It might just be certain individuals of each sex, not both sexes as a whole.

Im 15 turning 16 in May.

Eh, no one can answer this for you. Just settle on the 'best fit', if you must, but leave the topic open for revision.

Judging only from my personal (anecdotal) experience, I'd say it's a bit more likely it's not just a phase. Like I said, the phase usually seems to come a bit earlier. When I was 15 I more or less had my sexuality figured out (bi/pan) but naturally, everyone is different, and I'm only going from what I remember, when I had my bout with sexual confusion.

Honestly, as I said before: It's better to not really care. If you find it hard to figure out, just temporarily shelve the issue and come back to it when you think you might be able to get some sort of closure or whatever.

Just be attracted to whoever you're attracted to, don't bother trying to figure it out, because it is hardly ever so simple/cut and dry.

edit:
Why put a label on it? You are attracted to who you are attracted to, be it a man or a woman. It might just be certain individuals of each sex, not both sexes as a whole.

Largely what I was trying to say. There isn't really a necessity for it, since it's just a word people use to communicate certain things to others. It's more a tool for you than a rigid part of one's identity. As I said before, even if you decide you're still gay or straight or something, you could still feel attracted to the other (unexpected) sex every now and then.

It's just a word people use to make things seem a bit simpler. If you're unsure, there's no need to 'decide,' because it's there primarily for your benefit. It's not like it's a shameful thing to be uncertain.

I think everyone finds people of the same sex attractive, there's girls I think are hot, and Im not a lesbian or bi, I just think they're pretty.
Maybe as a girl it's more socially acceptable to admit this, but I dont think you should worry too much about it, and maybe you will discover you prefer the same sex over the opposite sex, or maybe you are bi, but I have more than a few gay friends and most of them said that they knew it at a much younger age that they were gay.
Everyone is differenty and that's how it should be, just maybe give yourself some time to adjust and figure out what you do find attractive in a male/female, and not try to label it.

actually some psychologists say that people pick their friends based on relateability and attractiveness, that when becoming friends with someone a lot of the time reflects what you see as pretty in the same and oposite sexes.

So just restating that this isn't unusual and you shouldn't worry too much about it!

to buster~hyman. If its not a phase then howcome it just started like a month ago. I was never attracted to guys before that. Do u think a straight guy could get aroused by seeing a naked guy? Im just so confused why my whole life Ive been attracted to girls, and then suddenly Im kinda attracted to males too.

Edit: Ahg, jesus christ. I'll pre-excuse my lengthyness. I like to consider myself a writer and tend to just go off composing these mammoth posts just for the enjoyment of it...

I don't really see the problem. If you do think it's just a phase, then put off deciding your orientation until the phase is over! How will you know it's a phase? When one day you look back on these past attractions and go "Wow, just what was I thinking?" However, I'm just a tad skeptical. Though part of that may just be my own personal bias. You're the only one who can tell you what you are. That's why I hate these threads, all me or other posters can do is try and guide you to you yourself making the realization about your sexuality. You're the one who has to do all the work, all a peron can do is offer support or list off a bunch of potential realities.

First question: You could have just failed to notice it? It's pretty classic. Some men go well into their middle years, get married and have families before they even realize... Though now I'm thinking that should change since homos aren't quite so much of a taboo anymore. Point is, people can be quite good at failing to recognize their feelingsand such. I'm sure you know at least one person who tends to have a lot of trouble understanding their emotions or how they really feel, and it seems to give them a lot of grief. Most people tend to have some problems with this at one time or another, and depending on the particular situation.

Also, you misunderstand me on the attraction thing. Sometimes it's not overtly sexual (but somehow not un-sexual either.) There's a whole lot of grey area. Sometimes someone's just so cool or interesting (and conversely not ugly or easy enough on the eyes that you don't mind looking at them) that you find yourself 'falling' for them, whether or not you're typically prone to lusting after their particular physical body if you just saw them as a stranger on the street. Or maybe their awesome personality just gets you to view them in a new light, and suddenly your heart is getting all fluttery and shit, and you're thinking 'maybe'...

I'm not saying a 100% straight dude would likely want to have sex with another dude under essentially any circumstance (unless maybe as a really selfless favor or something, I dunno, I suppose anything is possible.) I wasn't really talking about pure lust. However, a 100% straight guy would be a pretty rare thing (despite what I'm sure many men would have you believe, due to insecurity or whatever associated with admitting to even minimal levels of 'queerness')

Not to say there aren't some who I'm sure are more or less 100% het/homo or whatever. I don't want anyone claiming that I've sparked a debate that I haven't.

Also, sometimes attraction just falls into some weird grey zone that can be difficult to classify. Not entirely the idea behind 'man crushes' or 'platonic crushes' but not entirely different, either. Attraction is complicated. All sorts of things can potentially happen, even if initially seeming unlikely or impossible, if enough supporting circumstances happen to be there.

No doubt in my mind many predominantly straight people have had 'crushes' on the same sex, to some extent,and that they likely found a bit puzzling (to say the least.) That's not to say it happens all the time, or to everyone, and it would actually be quite rare... And that was actually my point entirely! Sexuality can be pretty fluid, sometimes there's just no way you can't make 100% predictions. You think you have it figured out, and then life throws you a curve ball.

...And suddenly you find yourself slightly infatuated with someone you really didn't expect to be! These things can be kind of weird. Assuming the other person isn't hideous, I think most people can be made willing to defer from their particular set of (sexual) preferences. It's a complex puzzle, so obviously I'm not going to cover it in it's entirety, as it would be impossible, anyways. Human relationships and affections/attractions towards others can be very complicated and mysterious. At least I find it all to be.

And I think you took me a bit too literally, which is why I just said I was going from my personal experience. All of our brains are wired very differently, so how you experience the world is way different from how I experienced it. Still, my experiences are pretty much all I have to go on.

People are pretty enigmatic, we tend to not even understand ourselves that well. Still, you're the only one who can really know. I don't know just what you expect to gain from this thread.

w/e Ill try to forget about it. but I feel like Ive lost interest in girls. I think I need to get laid or get a gf to refocus my interest ln girls. I think Im overreacting a bit.

I think it's sort of a backlash. A person can't really control their feelings. Some things we can control, but feelings are usually best to be worked with, rather than against, simply because they are and they exist for their own reasons, and can't be argued with. Basically, that sounds like an excercize in frustration. If you get more interested in girls again, it will happen whenever it does... a person can't control themselves like that... and I don't see why we should.

A lot of people are fluid bisexuals. Ie: they go through phases of being more attracted to one gender/type or another. If that's the case you can probably expect your attraction to whichever gender to taper off at somewhat random intervals with seemingly no rational explanation behind it. It just sort of happens. I know many people like this. It seems like it can be a bit confusing.

I think most people are bisexual to some extent, some just sit on either extreme. It sounds to me that you are bisexual with a slight favoritism towards girls.

Case Closed.

- Macho Man

i hope u rnt makin fun of meh

You need to have sex with both guys and girls multiple times.

Only you can can tell you who you are. At 15, you have tons of time to figure shit out, but don't announce to the world you're gay or bi or even straight until you know for sure. Read this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7456588.stm), have sex with everyone that crosses your path. Srsly, take pics and send them to me.

When you're a teenager, it's common for you to feel SEXUALLY attracted to both sexes cause your hormones are all BRAAWHH.

But when you fall in love with another guy, like more than sexually, then you know you're a bi-fag.

Chichi would know ^^

Chichi would know ^^

MSN me. I'm appearing offline

GAY-----------------------------------STRAIGHT

Nobody is 100% on one side of the spectrum, find your spot and be happy with it.

Well first off OP you sound like a fucking whiney teenager, so stop bitching.

But you do sound very confused and like you're freaking out. I take it that your family/social setting isn't too fond of gays?
Don't worry about it, if you're gay then you're gay. There's nothing wrong with it. Sure you'll be a minority and some people will look down at you for it... but really, who cares about them? Chances are throughout life you'll fall into some other minority as well. It just can't be helped.

Also, don't worry about not being attracted to women so much anymore, everyones attraction to people fluctuates. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Hey, it could just be that you're stressing out too much about the possibility of being gay that you can't concentrate on the sexy blonde that just walked past.
Just chill, whatever happens happens, and there's nothing you can do. So just sit back, relax and let your orientation choose you. Don't stress about whatever that orientation may be, its all natural.