My opinion is that both males and females are hugely inept at understanding the opposite sex. So I'm going to try to explain the false beliefs held about one sex by the other in easy-to-read dot points.

Girls:


If your boyfriend asks you to come hang at his place, he intends to fuck you. He does not want you to come over to his house just to talk to you with no physical activity.

When you talk to your boyfriend about other guys, or pretend you don't like him in attempt to get attention from him or make him want you more, you'll fail. He will not recognise that you're doing it because you like him. Instead, he will think you DON'T like him and he will start resenting you and eventually dump you.

If there's somebody you know your boyfriend hates for whatever reason, you sure as fuck better not remain friends with this person. Guys want you to put them first. They may say "Oh you can still be friends with him/her, I don't want to make you feel like you have to choose." but they really mean "It pisses me off that you still choose to be friends with him/her, I'm just pretending to be nice about it so you'll think I'm a good boyfriend so you'll choose me."

If you so much as hug another guy or laugh at another guys joke infront of your boyfriend, your boyfriend will probably be thinking about beating the living shit out of the other guy. We get pretty jealous pretty easy. I have no real explanation for that one.


Guys:


When your girlfriend talks about other guys, ignores you or insults you, she's doing it for attention because she doesn't feel like you show enough affection for her. In order to get her to shut the fuck up, tell her that you love her or do something nice like that. Just SHOW YOU CARE so she SHUTS THE FUCK UP. Note: if she exhibits these behaviors all the time, with no love and affection at all, she probably doesn't like you and wants you to dump her.

Girls like you. Seriously, they act all cold and play games with you because they love being pursued. Really, they WANT to give you their number. They WANT to fuck you. Just don't think that a girl's sexuality is like a sleeping vampire buried deep inside of them that requires some elaborate magic ritual to awaken. It's right there, they like you, they want you. Note: this does not apply if you're fat/pimply/lonely. If this describes you, go for fat/pimply/lonely chicks.

Girls aren't really better than you. You may feel like everything that happens in a relationship is THEIR call, that's bullshit. Girls hate themselves. Girls feel insecure. Girls are dependant on you. If she's treating you like a doormat, just make it really fucking clear that she's going to lose you if she doesn't turn it around. Watch how quickly her attitude changes.

Girls are far from "beautiful". I mean, if you saturate yourself with that much makeup/cologne/hairspray/nail polish, they yeah...You're going to create the illusion that you're beautiful. But it's fake. Chicks are fucking disgusting when you look close enough. They have greasy skin, they have hairy arms, they have peach fuzz mustaches, their feet stink, they fart, they have ear wax, they don't always wipe their ass properly...The list goes on and on. Just don't feel intimidated by a girls perceived attractiveness, because it's about 90% artificial.


Refute me if you want.

tell her that you love her or do something nice like that. Just SHOW YOU CARE so she SHUTS THE FUCK UP.

This is very good advice sirs.

How do I rid myself of this loneliness?

I can choose to surround myself with other people, but this is when I feel most alone.



I agree with everything in your post, btw.

I would never ask a girl to stop talking to a guy just because I don't like him. I'm sure she thinks some of my friends are assholes--and rightly so in some cases--but you should not change the people you like to fit one person's mold.

Also, if her laughing at another guy makes you want to beat the guy you have issues. I'm aware that I'm not the only guy in the world who can make her laugh.

You seem bitter but wise :D I agree with most of it. I think the fake thing depends on the girl though. You can usually tell how fake a girl is by just using your brains and looking at her and considering how much time she took to look that way. I've seen lots of naturally beautiful girls.

Oh and for the record, the jealous angry beat the shit out of the guys the girl is hugging attitude is sexy as hell. I can't speak for all girls, but I can say that having a man be territorial over me (to an extent) is a huge turn on and just makes me want him more. I think it appeals to some primal instinct or something - not sure.

See, X61?

I may be fifteen, but I know shit ;)

See, X61?

I may be fifteen, but I know shit ;)
Yeah, it's not like my 8 years of growing up since I was your age might have taught me a thing or two about maturity and trust that you haven't learned yet .

Yeah, it's not like my 8 years of growing up since I was your age might have taught me a thing or two about maturity and trust that you haven't learned yet .

Seems like pretty good advice to me.

Nice post man! I enjoy reading the Girl page.

More please. kind sir, Chichi.

I've noticed most of your bullet points directly pertain to your recent girl problems you've been posting here, and a couple are cut and paste bits of advice you got from other totseans.


Teenagers:

Often have "relationship" epiphanies that seem like philosophical breakthroughs to them at the time, but are really a bunch of generalities based on their more limited personal experience.



Believe me, in a year or two you'll have a new relationship problem and come up with a whole new list.


...also, never begrudge anyone the right to laugh- whether at another dude's jokes or your own- that's just silly.

Sorta biased don't you think?

agreed

really good advice

New Arrival knows where it's at.

I started reading the OP but got about two points in and realised that it was all going to be that obvious. Other 15 year olds may appreciate it, but don't mistake it for wisdom.

very good my good sir

I've noticed most of your bullet points directly pertain to your recent girl problems you've been posting here, and a couple are cut and paste bits of advice you got from other totseans.

Not really, man. I mean, the one about your girlfriend getting attention I had already become aware of by myself, and I just needed a second opinion by someone who could view it from a non-emotional standpoint. Plus, I had given that advice before I made any thread about that same problem in my relationship.

And as for my advice only being suitable to a certain age group, well yeah, no contest. I don't know what a mature relationship is like, but you have to admit that I'm better than most teenagers in this area

I just think that since 60-70% of threads in this forum are made by teenagers, it just could help in answering a lot of the monotonous, stupid questions we ask.

And I have quite a bit more to write up, so if any other people want it I'll write it.

So I guess if youre in the pimply/fat/lonely category, you are pretty much fucked? And not in the good way. At least this clears things up, and I can stop trying so hard.

Thanks, you have no idea how much free time this opens up.
I might actually finish that paper on time.

you seem quite wise for your age, chichi, but you still have a lot to learn. You're theory on girls' wiping their ass, for example, is false. Any girl, unless she's disgusting and would never be approached by a guy, is going to wipe their ass properly. It only takes two or three wipes for them, too, because most of them dont have hair on or around their asshole like us men.

Main one:

Human nature>liberal nature.

Don't think you're gonna make someone attracted to you by being all eqaul rights, and unconditionally generous.

That's pretty obvious though...

Oh, and as for the bias...Well yeah I don't really like girls.

Like...Just fucking face it. Men kind of ARE superior. Physically AND mentally. This is why you don't see many female soldiers/presidents/sports players. Girls are here for one fucking thing: Babies.

And you can claim that women are good "Care givers" or that they and more emotionally "understanding"but it's bullshit. I was raised by a single dad who's only involvement with the opposite sex was a monthy visit to his fuck buddy, and I turned out just dandy. And girls aren't better at understanding emotions, they just thrive on drama and only really end up distorting your feelings so you don't even understand them anymore.

This bitterness doesn't come from me hating girls, but just because I'm fed up with all these bullshit ideas held by everyone. It's just a load of fucking crap.

Very good advice, but I must say that whole fat/pimply/lonely thing doesn't really apply.

For the most part if you're nice and treat the girl like gold (while being assertive) you'll get her.

Don't you see obese people with hot ass chicks? Hmm? Its 50/50 id say personality/looks and that really depends on what type of man the female is looking for.

My opinion is that both males and females are hugely inept at understanding the opposite sex.

Does this mean that you are neither?:) seeing as you "know" so much about both!

Oh, and as for the bias...Well yeah I don't really like girls.

Like...Just fucking face it. Men kind of ARE superior. Physically AND mentally.

So why does the highest IQ in the world belong to a woman?

It only takes two or three wipes for them, too, because most of them dont have hair on or around their asshole like us men.

Holy shit! Never thought about it that way. That was the trade off for being able to piss while standing up?

Like seriously, when a girl goes to take a shit, it must be a power shit, because 2 minutes later she's out. A guy on the other hand, he brings in some reading material because it takes that long.

Interesting.

Oh oh and chichi, you're jaded already and you're only 15. Sucks to be you. Childlike innocence and blind trust are things you only experience when you're young. Once they're gone they're gone for good, and the world becomes a darker, scarier more realistic place. Living a life of ignorance is pathetic, but it doesn't hurt if you live it for just a while. I feel sorry for you.

And in regards to the OP, some of it's true, but it's also common sense. If some one finds this useful they're fucked any way because they're utterly clueless.

See, X61?

I may be fifteen, but I know shit ;)

HAHAHA

Oh wow.

Had me going there, till I saw that post.

Now that I think about it...

Guys really do have hairy assholes, but girls are still more disgusting on so many levels.

http://www.davebumba.com/articles/vag1.JPG

And what the fuck, I'm not trying to say I know everything.

There is still tonnnnssss of things that confuse the shit out of me, so feel free to correct me or add to my list of things. But in my defense:

A) This thread WILL be useful to a lot of people who post here.

B) Despite how much I don't know, you can't seriously look at some of the posts made by other people my age and tell me I'm not at least a LITTLE bit more advanced. :(

B) Despite how much I don't know, you can't seriously look at some of the posts made by other people my age and tell me I'm not at least a LITTLE bit more advanced. :(

That's the thing man, you ARE really advanced. That's the bad thing, you can't take it back. The innocence of youth is something not to waste. There's no rush to grow up, get in relationships and start to discover most people are cunts that will use you to their advantage. Just chill, be a 15 year old for a while longer.

but girls are still more disgusting on so many levels.

http://www.davebumba.com/articles/vag1.JPG

That's a horrible example.

http://cgi.4chan.org/s/src/1226467618395.jpg

There, took like 1 minute. How can you say that is uglier than a mans ass hole?

Really?

Tell me of some examples you know of where this applies. (I'm not doubting you, just interested.)

That's the thing man, you ARE really advanced. That's the bad thing, you can't take it back. The innocence of youth is something not to waste. There's no rush to grow up, get in relationships and start to discover most people are cunts that will use you to their advantage. Just chill, be a 15 year old for a while longer.

Trust me, this does not apply to me. I've never understood why I'm the only one that feels this way, but I've always been so much happier to know the truth than to believe bullshit. That's why I became an atheist. I just think it's sooo much more satisfying to know the truth, regardless of whether or not it's the way you wanted it to be.

Trust me, this does not apply to me. I've never understood why I'm the only one that feels this way, but I've always been so much happier to know the truth than to believe bullshit. That's why I became an atheist. I just think it's sooo much more satisfying to know the truth, regardless of whether or not it's the way you wanted it to be.

I didn't realise there was proof of there not being a god... I guess I haven't been keeping up my subscription of Atheism Today... Hmm...

I didn't realise there was proof of there not being a god... I guess I haven't been keeping up my subscription of Atheism Today... Hmm...

Atheist in that I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian God. You want conclusive proof that he isn't real? Go no further than the bible.

So you never saw a person healed.

Atheist in that I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian God. You want conclusive proof that he isn't real? Go no further than the bible.

Oh, here I was thinking you meant atheist as in not believing in any gods. I didn't know the definition had been changed... Anyway, I'll stop derailing your thread now.

Anyway, I'll stop derailing your thread now.

thx Malkog :(

And Jsmooth744, weren't you supposed to give me examples of ugly/fat guys getting hot chicks?

good advice.

PUMP AND DUMP
HIT AND QUIT

better advice ^

Chichi, your exactly like me. way way way advanced in some areas..
and not very good in others. :O

anyway, good thread. You Speak The Truth Brother.

Chichi, your exactly like me. way way way advanced in some areas..
and not very good in others. :O

O rly?

thx Malkog :(

And Jsmooth744, weren't you supposed to give me examples of ugly/fat guys getting hot chicks?

No you just go into a public place like a mall or just anywhere.

O rly?

Ya rly.

n00b.

Just let the woman know you're the boss and not her possession, and all is good in the hood. Girls like trying to turn an arrogant and cold cocky asshole into the perfect boyfriend.

Oh yeah Chichi you piece of nob cheese, got MSN/AIM?

MSN: muttonchop_murders@hotmail.com

MSN: muttonchop_murders@hotmail.com

TY;D Myspace?

Girls are far from "beautiful". I mean, if you saturate yourself with that much makeup/cologne/hairspray/nail polish, they yeah...You're going to create the illusion that you're beautiful. But it's fake. Chicks are fucking disgusting when you look close enough. They have greasy skin, they have hairy arms, they have peach fuzz mustaches, their feet stink, they fart, they have ear wax, they don't always wipe their ass properly...The list goes on and on. Just don't feel intimidated by a girls perceived attractiveness, because it's about 90% artificial.



i wish i hadnt read this

fuck you chichi you fucking cunt... i didnt need to see that

Uhh, Slim, I think you just added me, but I accidentally rejected it?

K will re add.