Alright. So...I'm fifteen, male, and bisexual.

I know this isn't just a phase or to be trendy or whatever because:

A) I've felt this way since I was about 9.

B) It's not "cool" if males are bisexual.

C) I haven't told anyone about it (except totse) So I'm not trying to be an attention whore.

Anyway, I do a pretty good job of hiding it. Kind of. But sometimes I just feel fucking trapped, like I just can't be who I want to be. Especially around my male friends, one of them stopped listening to Bloc Party when he found out the singer was bisexual, and another friend told me I "ruined his night" when I told him Jim Morrison was a closet bisexual. So I know what would happen if I told THEM about it.

Apparently though, as soon as you get to college (two years for me), nobody really gives a shit and everyone's open minded about it.

So my question is: Should I out myself or should I wait?

If you think I should, how should I go about it?

like, omg thats totally fabu!

Coming out to social conservatives is like jews coming out to nazis.

But seriously, weight up the goods and bads of it, only you can be sure...

Not the time.

Do it in every future thread I make, but not in this one. plz

Why do you feel the need to come out? I never took a full page ad out in the newspaper to announce that I am straight. I'm just really curious about this.

Why do you feel the need to tell everyone you're human? Bisexual desires are rather normal, and so are many other taboos. Unless you're trolling for gay or other bisexual men, what would be the purpose? It sounds like you're the one that's not comfortable with yourself, or are seeking approval of your thoughts. If you are comfortable, why even share your desires, since it's not likely to be constructive. I don't label myself, because I'm just human, and I have all the same desires as everyone else. I'm not special, and neither are you. I do commend you on at least being honest about your own desires, as you have to be to maintain good mental health. However, society has a system that's been drilled into it about what things are good and bad for us, and sucking and fucking other men isn't on the positive list. Drugs are illegal too, but I smoked a big fatty last night. As long as you know the consequences, do whatever floats your boat.

Well just imagine the social norm is to be gay, and you're the only straight guy and you have to keep it secret.

You'd kind feel a little trapped, would you NOT?

DON'T come out until you're out of high school. No guys know you're bi, right? So you can get close with them and they won't feel awkward! Like changing in front of them and stuff! You've got the jackpot man, don't consider this a bad thing!!!

Enter, you make a good point.

But this is still pretty fucking frustrating on an emotional level :(

I know plenty of bi and gay guys and they're accepted much better after high school. Just wait until then. Enjoy these years now. You're fine.

just wait, it would be better

You must have a pretty fucking shit highschool. Nobody minds someone being gay, as long as you aren't a flamer trying to turn your sexuality into a goddamn culture because you're too weak as an individual to have your own personality. At least, that's how it is for most people at my highschool.
EDIT- also probably trolling, look at the tag.

Well just imagine the social norm is to be gay, and you're the only straight guy and you have to keep it secret.

You'd kind feel a little trapped, would you NOT?

well if you are in fact bi as you say, why dont you just keep to girls at the moment if your worried what your friends will think. Yeah i know its not being true to yourself by doing that, but bi's also feel attracted to the opposite sex am i right? if you found a girl that absolutely did it for you, you will be fine. Ya' hear?

Like changing in front of them and stuff! You've got the jackpot man, don't consider this a bad thing!!!

I always thought about this and how sweet it would be to be bisexual. Its like the best of both worlds. I almost wish I had been oriented this way so I could just keep it secret and enjoy it. It would be like if I always got to change in the girls room and nobody gave a shit. How awesome would that be? :D

Yeah as another bi male I agree with everyone else why tell anyone else? Unless you've got a boyfriend and it's getting really heavy or something don't even bother. Wait till you are out of the house and free. That stuff about being "you" is bullshit you are you your sexuality has nothing to do with anyone and if you want to piss people off about it then you have low self esteem and want attention.

Also another thing that pisses me off about bi's both male and female... it is not an excuse to cheat you idiots you are not being "you" by "exploring" if you don't want to be in a one person relationship then don't (unless you and your partner fully aknowledge beforehand that you will be in an open relationship) I am married to a woman so I am in a strictly heterosexual relationship. Never been with a man and unless I get divorced never will be yet I still know i'm bi. Good luck.

Are you white by any chance? ( im not making fun of you im just curious)

Ask yourself 2 questions and make a list:

1. What can happen if I come out?

2. What can happen if I don't come out to anybody unless I want to?

Most people will choose 2 because it's nobody's business what you do.

1. Don't come out while in HS.
2. If you feel you have to, do it when you feel like it.
3. And never come out in anger. That will only end up in a big argument.

And it's nodody's business who you are.

Alright, thanks gais. So I guess I'm just gonna keep it in until I get to college.



And to anyone who said I'm trying to impress totse or get attention from you, I'm probably much higher up in the social ladder than a good 80% of you. Your opinions, and what light you view me in does not mean shit.

Alright, thanks gais. So I guess I'm just gonna keep it in until I get to college.



And to anyone who said I'm trying to impress totse or get attention from you, I'm probably much higher up in the social ladder than a good 80% of you. You opinions, and what light you view me in does not mean shit.

you sound very proud of your totse social status no offense, it just ammused me. i would be proud of myself too if i was popular on an internet forum

you sound very proud of your totse social status no offense, it just ammused me. i would be proud of myself too if i was popular on an internet forum

...You misread.

Why the fuck does everyone keep beating me to the posts that I want to make?

Anyways, this. I worked with a gay guy for about 4 months before I found out that he was gay, and even then, I only found out because someone else told me. Then a few months later I found out about his boyfriend, who I also work with and had no idea that he was gay either. Neither one of them is insecure about it at all, they just don't feel the need to go around telling everybody about it.

Which leads to my question(s): Why do so many gay men feel the need to flaunt their sexuality? I've seen two men walking down the street holding hands, which I don't have a problem with, but I don't want to see two guys making out in public just like I don't want to see a guy and a girl or a girl and a girl making out in front of me. But with the social stigma that goes along with being gay, why would anyone want to tell the world through their behavior that they're gay?

It's not that I want to flaunt it, I just don't like having to lie. Also, the only thing that's stopping me from getting with guys is that I'm hiding it.

So don't give me this "Yeah you like dick you don't have to fucking tell everyone about it. Typical fag trying to get attention and push his views on us. "

That's not it at all. I don't want to tell everyone so I can see their reaction or anything...I just want to be able to be who I am and not have to hide it, and I can't. But yeah, I've already decided it's not worth being open about just yet.

yOU COULD JUST ASK ERIC, TOTSE'S OFFICIAL GAY ICON.

Also, what the fuck, the gay guys you told me about had to have both come out of the closet to have that relationship, you fucking douche

It's not that I want to flaunt it, I just don't like having to lie. Also, the only thing that's stopping me from getting with guys is that I'm hiding it.

So don't give me this "Yeah you like dick you don't have to fucking tell everyone about it. Typical fag trying to get attention and push his views on us. "

How many people have seriously asked you "Are you gay/bi?" I'm not talking about your friends calling you a fag for not thinking that some girl is hot, or some stupid shit like that, either. When has your sexuality ever come up in a conversation with your friends? If it hasn't, what have you had to lie about? You say you're bisexual, so it's not like you have to lie and pretend to like girls when you really don't.

No, the only thing that's stopping you from getting with guys is the fact that the guys you want are probably straight and/or homophobes, which is why you're afraid to tell them. If you know for sure that the guy that you like is gay/bi, what's the problem? Fucking hook up with him and stop bitching about it on totse.

Those questions weren't directed solely at you. They were for the gay population in general, although I'm probably not going to get any real answers from totse.

That's not it at all. I don't want to tell everyone so I can see their reaction or anything...I just want to be able to be who I am and not have to hide it, and I can't. But yeah, I've already decided it's not worth being open about just yet.

Also, what the fuck, the gay guys you told me about had to have both come out of the closet to have that relationship, you fucking douche

You're missing the point. Yes, they are gay, and yes they are out of the closet, but that doesn't mean they run around announcing to the world, "Hey everyone, I'm a homo!" One of the guys has 2 kids who come to visit him during the holidays, but none of his family (his kids included) knows that he's gay. Why? Because he's not a fucking flaming homo. What is so hard for you to understand about that? Just because you're gay doesn't mean that everyone has to know. That doesn't mean that you can't be who you are and not have to hide it, it just means that you don't need to let everyone know the details of your sex life.

My point is, you don't have to tell everyone that you're bi just to validate it. You are who you are, and that's all that matters. You don't have to make a special announcement to your friends and family before you start hooking up with guys; just do it. If you don't think they'll approve, either: A) Don't talk to them anymore, B) Don't let them find out, or C) Tell them, then remind them that you're still the same person that you were 10 seconds ago, before you told them, and that nothing about you has changed. If they can't accept that, then fuck them.

Also, your friends suck. Get better, more open-minded friends.

*facepalm*

Dude, I'm not going to try and argue with you. Even if I made a perfect argument you'd refute it somehow.

Yeah wait 'til college. And if you have fantasies involving rape and your friends, don't tell them about those fantasies, because regardless of who is raping who they will not hang out with you any more.

You're missing the point. Yes, they are gay, and yes they are out of the closet, but that doesn't mean they run around announcing to the world, "Hey everyone, I'm a homo!" One of the guys has 2 kids who come to visit him during the holidays, but none of his family (his kids included) knows that he's gay. Why? Because he's not a fucking flaming homo. What is so hard for you to understand about that? Just because you're gay doesn't mean that everyone has to know. That doesn't mean that you can't be who you are and not have to hide it, it just means that you don't need to let everyone know the details of your sex life.

This is dumb. If it's true, then he must never have conversations with his family or he would have to lie. I don't know what other peoples families are like but mine talk to each other. Sexuality comes up because it's implied.

Do his parents just never ask if he's seeing anyone or how his personal life is? I think any normal family would talk and he would then be forced to say he has a boyfriend or take the easy way and lie. But your whole point that it just never comes up is stupid. It's not as though being gay is a minor detail that you can just omit.

It's not as though being gay is a minor detail that you can just omit.

This.

This is dumb. If it's true, then he must never have conversations with his family or he would have to lie. I don't know what other peoples families are like but mine talk to each other. Sexuality comes up because it's implied.

Do his parents just never ask if he's seeing anyone or how his personal life is? I think any normal family would talk and he would then be forced to say he has a boyfriend or take the easy way and lie. But your whole point that it just never comes up is stupid. It's not as though being gay is a minor detail that you can just omit.

I guess my family is just strange then, because my mom has never asked me if I screwed a girl. The closet thing to a real conversation about sex with my mother was her telling me when I was about 14 or 15 to let her know if I was going to start having sex so she could get me on the pill.

Either way, I don't see how hard it would be for him to just say, "I'm seeing somebody." If people ask and leave it at that.

Either way, I don't see how hard it would be for him to just say, "I'm seeing somebody." If people ask and leave it at that.

Because then the person replies with "Oh, what's her name" or "Oh, what's she like?". Then you're stuck either telling a lie or correcting them.

Haha, i kinda knew you were bi(gay) , its wierd, maybe its the name...

Well i can tell you this right now, tell only one person, tell him or her, but you have to trust them, really, really trust them. And then you will feel like the mountain is off your shoulders. After that one person you will see that you no longer need to tell it to anyone else.

I did that with my dark secrets, it works like a charm.

I do have a question though, did something fucked up happened to you as a kid, like someone sexually abused you or something in that sort?

Haha, i kinda knew you were bi(gay) , its wierd, maybe its the name...

You can't just say that and not elaborate.

I do have a question though, did something fucked up happened to you as a kid, like someone sexually abused you or something in that sort?

Abused. Not sexually, but it was bad enough for me to take out a restraining order on my step dad.

Though I think if he WAS raping me, I'd pretty much be off guys forever.

Though I think if he WAS raping me, I'd pretty much be off guys forever.

There we go, we found the solution!

Honestly, make lots of 'queer' friends. There is really not much else to say. It solves so much tangled and stupid interpersonal issues in one fell swoop. It's difficult to feel like an outsider when you're simply more surrounded by it and it's just taken for granted or even somewhat expected.

All of my gay friends began living in what they basically called a 'queer-bubble' (one called it that) once they moved onto college or whatever... basically meaning that interracting with the straight world was actually kind of weird and otherworldly to him. He was so used to living in his 'queer-bubble' that he no longer had any thought about how weird he was by 'conventional society's' standards.

And he was very obviously gay by many asppects of his manner and how he dressed, etc. Even before he came out of the class, people always suspected because of how he came across. He's always been poor at making friends with other guys, and has generally always been surrounded by girls, etc. A fair number of stereotypes rolled into a package, so I can get he probably always felt like a bit of an oddity, socially. Now, he's not even phased by such things at all. It's cool how he's developed into his own person by finding his own niche, etc. I think people deserve that (a sense of 'community' or whatever, social understanding.)

Keep your straight guy friends if they're worth keeping, etc. But begin meeting more queer people and you'll no longer feel like an oddity at all. You'll just feel like an ordinary person because you'd be more surrounded by queerness than you are now.

That's often how these things go, and I think that's a natural route of development for someone willing to explore this side of themselves. And there's no reason you shouldn't be. I guess it could be harder since you're bi, but all the gay men I know who have a problem with bisexuals I write off as idiots. You can't make generalizations like that about people.

Girls can be alright for queer things, but I actually think a fair number secretly despise bisexual men or something. Gay men, on average, they seem a bit more okay with than bisexuals. I don't really understand why. I think most people in general have some pretty annoying misconceptions about bisexuality, in general.

But I just think you should make more gay/queer/whatever friends. It really broadens horizons and kind of shows how normal you actually are. And some of your old friends begin seeming very boring and closed minded... and you find you don't have much room in your life anymore for such people. It's usually how these thigns tend to go.

I guess you're only 15 so it would be tough. But try to expand beyond your current friends, socially. The sooner the better, though there will be some limitations due to age and perhaps where you live. Bigger cities are good for gay things, some smaller centers are less beneficial for that sort of thing.

Jim Morrison was a closet bisexual.


Jim Morrison was a closet bisexual?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, haha sorry I'm just joshin ya. I still respect the man.

But seriously all the best of luck to you. I'd say just wait til after high school I suppose.

Do whatever you feel is the right move for you, but know either way you will probably suffer repercussions. Your friends sound like typical 15 year olds, kids who don't understand why you would feel how you do. If you hold it in, you may be left with negative feelings about yourself. If you plan on going to college, try to find somewhere that has a more liberal ideal. May make things a lot easier in the long run.

Don't tell everybody, just tell the people you trust.


And it's important to be able to be yourself....

... if you can't now, find people with whom you can (the group i used to hang with, i was the person coming closest to straight... and no, not a bunch of fags, just a strange mix of gays, lesbians, bi's.. and me )

What does it mean.... I feel like I'm living a lie. or if you don't come out you are living a lie.....

Live YOUR life the way you want to. It's nobody's business.

Answer all the following questions bu "fuck off" unless it's your parents...
1. Do you have a girl friend?
2. Do you have a boyfriend?
3. Are you str8?
4. Are you gay?
5 Have you had sex?
6. Do you jo?
see what I'm getting at? You don't have to answer any question about yourself. Period. It's nobody's business.

If you don't have a girlfriend, you're gay.
If you have many girl friends, you're gay.
If you have a red car, you're gay.
If you are a truck driver, you're gay.
If you are a Hell's Angel, you're gay.

People like to gossip and make story about others. That's the way it is.

Develop a Fuck Off attitude.

And here I thought you were Gokus girl.... :(

Thanks for the advice gaisseee.


And fuck you man, I knew as soon as I saw your name there would be a DBZ reference.

lol :D

You know you love me.

haha, I don't know why I started all that DBZ bullshit with you :p

Anyways, time solves everything? idk

Toodles =D

Only you can be sure when to come out. I'm 15, gay, and live in North Carolina, I had a boyfriend and everyone found out which was a terrible way to come out because the school found out THEN my close friends, so for a few weeks before I gave up on hiding it I had to make a shitload of cover up's and such before just telling everyone. It really sucked plus people aren't really open minded in the south so I gotta lot of shit from people but I can hold my own. My advice is tell your friends then your parents and see how things go down, my friends were homophobic too, it'll probably go fine.

Murder/Suicide.

You can't just say that and not elaborate.


Abused. Not sexually, but it was bad enough for me to take out a restraining order on my step dad.

Though I think if he WAS raping me, I'd pretty much be off guys forever.

There is nothing really to elaborate, i saw you post, i thought you were a girl(name sounds feminine to me, plus lots of things you say sounds more feminine then masculine), but then i found out you were a guy, then i thought maybe you"re just gay.

I just know your sexuallity reflects a lot of your childhood,(and this is not Freud) and in a lot of cases bi(gay) are made that way(as stupid as this sounds)....


And dont forget about my original advice, the one about telling your secrets to a close friend.

i thought you were a girl(name sounds feminine to me, plus lots of things you say sounds more feminine then masculine)

Hey, I'm pretty...Masculine....:(

theres a green day song about this called coming clean
green day is a faggot isnt he

I would avoid it in highschool. Even if its bi, not straight-up gay<lol oxymoron>, people will consider you a queer. Had one guy in our class who was an open homo, and literally NO GUY would ever want to be seen near him, unless their girlfriends were around. He hung around a lot of girls, but the gay thing seemed to just ostracize him more.

Wait till college, the place where nobody gives a flying fuck.

Wait till college, the place where nobody gives a flying fuck.

I will, but does anyone know why? Is it just because college kids are more mature...Or is it part of the pretentious "I'm really open minded and accepting of people." image that most of them have?

I will, but does anyone know why? Is it just because college kids are more mature...Or is it part of the pretentious "I'm really open minded and accepting of people." image that most of them have?

it's because no one gives a shit anymore, and most (read:most) people are more concerned with their own shit, than other people's sexuality and problems

especially if you go to a larger state school, you won't have any problems. it's not like high school, where you're confined with a bunch of different social cliques... in college, if someone doesnt wanna be around you, they won't. simple as that, no drama necessary

I will, but does anyone know why? Is it just because college kids are more mature...Or is it part of the pretentious "I'm really open minded and accepting of people." image that most of them have?

Highschools full of kids really. I mean, your only 17 when your done highschool. Wait for real life when people treat other people, for the most part, with respect.

Only a small group of people in highschool care about gayness. It's just that the're in a transitional phase where they wan't to fit in. And fitting in means thinking being gay is wrong.

When people get older they don't give a shit about fitting in with people. In fact the older you get the less friends you have and the happier you are not to be burdened with idiots.

Being gay is unnatural. Your just defective , I'll be running for office in the future.

I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend. :(

I'm not gay. I have a girlfriend. :(






If I animals sexually turned me on , I would still be into bestiality even If I had a girlfriend.

If cocks turn you on , even I you had a girlfriend.

You are gay

It's not about the age nor about people making fun of you, because if you're strong enough not to let it bother you then it isn't a problem. You need to wait because if you're a minor your parents and others may try to punish you for your sexuality. Better to be self supporting and be able to cut them off if they turn out to be douches. You don't want to end up in one of those reeducation camps that try to make you straight, nor do you want to end up homeless with no support.

Listen to this guy. It will answer all your questions.

You may not like the guy. But LISTEN to his message.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkkRbVZ-5RE

I went through this phase for under a week when I was in the the 7th grade.

You must have developed late........like a bitch.

I just realized that my first kiss wasn't with a girl.

What does that mean :(

gtfo right now

gtfo right now

okay :(

suffokator has not made any friends yet

lol :o

Don't fucking tell them man, you'll fuck up badly. Most people think bi's are as scary as Hannibal Lectur, stay in the closet, and if anyone comes in to get there coat try and hide.

Thats my opinion man.. you know my background with this kinda shit.. Outweigh the good and bad, think of which friends you would lose and which you wouldnt.. Work out WHO you want as mates if they are fucking anti-bi.

Just my $0.02

Not in high school. Don't tell anyone, unless you feel real comfortable about them and trust them.

Then again, I'm in my last year of high school, and I told pretty much everyone that I'm Bi last year. My friends don't really give a fuck, we go spa jumping nude or in undies all the time.

Depends on how accepting your peers are, I guess :\

Actually, as far as I know you're straight and you only do things with guys when you drink. Please tell of these other experiences

Actually, as far as I know you're straight and you only do things with guys when you drink. Please tell of these other experiences

Hooked up with a goth at a party.. I was sober.. -.-
Work out what works4u tbh

Hooked up with a goth at a party.. I was sober.. -.-
Work out what works4u tbh

A goth...Ey...How fucking old?

in year 8, but should be in year 9.. No idea of the actual Age.. But seeing as hes in a class with my chick friend.. i would say 15. -.O

By the power invested in me , I condemn this thread officially full of faggotry.

Gay 15 year old drunk boys ? seriously?

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Go Fuck Yourself. Not everyone likes girls, just because you like bustin' a Phat ass nut in da ghetto bitchaz ass. Doesnt mean we all live the same way you do... Being gay isnt a choice. and for people who say it is there fucking wannabe's/troll's.

Please edit your comment, that could offend people. Especially OP.

What kind of dipshit makes out with a 13 year old boy?! If I saw that shit I would have punched that goth fag in the fucking head.

Gay 15 year old drunk boys

Stop it you're getting me hot :o

Stop it you're getting me hot :o

You Went There.

Ontopic, being a bisexual is your choice.

If you're gay, than might ass well do this:


Murder/Suicide.

You Went There.

Ontopic, being a bisexual is your choice.

Yes. Yes it is.

If you're gay, than might ass well do this:

IF I EVER DO MURDER SUICIDE, Im so fucking Taking you with me, Kamakazi Motherfucker.

He'll do it. He's fucking crazy.

if you tell your friends they prob will not like you. If you dont and they find out they will hate you though.

Call Me Crazy Agian.
Bitch, I Dare YOU.

I didn't think of it that way :(

Call Me Crazy Agian.
Bitch, I Dare YOU.

Crazy.

Crazy.


*Runs at Chichi screaming while brandashing Knife and chanting CLOSETHOMO*

*Runs at Chichi screaming while brandashing Knife and chanting CLOSETHOMO*

Don't you taste your own cum? Just give him your number already.

Don't you taste your own cum? Just give him your number already.

Dude, what is your issue? 1 UPOSTCOUNT!
Srsly, stop following me. Before Im forced to taste your cum. -.- Im a crazy cum taster remember.

Moral of the thread: It's okay to be gay.

What.. You Cannot Destroy Me.. I Created You!

OR


Luke.. I AM Your Father.