Alright new zealander, listen up :)


I'm moving to your fine country in about five days now and am pretty damn excited about it. I haven't been there since I was two and am definitely looking forward to the change of scenery, culture, people, worldview, etc.

I've done my research and guess I know as much as I can expect to know about the place, but what I'm really interested in is what I should expect in regards to sex & affections. Anything about gender relations and expectation, sexual habits, taboos, the dating scene, promiscuity, anything that might surprise me or that I should just know/look forward to/expect.


I'm sure it won't be that different, and I'll be fine, but I'm young, a little nervous and anything you got would still be much appreciated.


Thanks totse.


-F☺rd

It's really not different at all. I'm sure you think NZ is some weird out of the way place with radically different social norms or something...It's pretty much just your average western society...

Nope, I don't. But I've traveled enough to realize that every place has got at least a little something of their own.

Maybe nz the exception?

-F☺rd

I live in Taranaki, pretty much anything goes around here.

lololololololol

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/162/manysheepux1.jpg

Dude, NZ is Middle Earth, of course it's gonna be different.

The girls there are much less classy than everywhere else on the planet.

yeah thats true some say theyre dogs and stuff i mean jadels and shorts are da norm.... Dont expect much unless your from remuera

lololololololol

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/162/manysheepux1.jpg

This does pretty much sum up New Zealand.

lololololololol

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/162/manysheepux1.jpg

They still look easier to fuck than what we have
http://www.northrup.org/Photos/Kangaroo/low/kangaroo-laying8.jpg

But Kangaroos are far more attractive, plus them standing on their hind legs means many more positions

Except Adelaide.

Gay jokes seem to be more acceptable amongst younger people than in other parts of the world.

Avoid farmers, townies and natives. Ie, anyone with a strong New Zealand accent.

I would assume that all the girls look like this.

http://www.poster.net/lord-of-the-rings/lord-of-the-rings-photo-xxl-lord-of-the-rings-6228668.jpg

Not all the chicks are that hot, but some are.
If you are from outta town you have more chance with the girls, they know they are not gonna get talked about behind their back.
Don't be Tooo American, that putz us off, the accent.
You have to 'scrape the surface' to get talking with locals, but from then on you are OK.
We don't have a wide range of drugs, & don't really want too either.
Watch out for the Dark Kiwis, getcha stuff stolen.
Have a car alarm.
Don't expect very good internet rates or speeds, I think the use nylon string rather than fiber optics.
Hitch hiking is easy.
We will tell you about the local history & free touristy things if you ask.
Petrols expensive, very expensive the furtherer you are away from main towns.
Theres lots of cheap ex japanese cars.
If you buy a campervan to travel around in, you can use supermarket car parks to park up in overnight.
Trampings cheap, but on the main routes you will have to pay for overnight stays in huts.

You realise the Lord of the Rings isn't actually about New Zealand, right?

You realise the Lord of the Rings isn't actually about New Zealand, right?

Lies!

Also, how long you been a mod for? I never actually noticed. And what are you modding?

You realise the Lord of the Rings isn't actually about New Zealand, right?

Isn't that a documentary?

Lies!

Also, how long you been a mod for? I never actually noticed. And what are you modding?

Couple of weeks I think. I mod right here.

---

Ford, don't come to New Zealand. Seriously. It's full of small minded nosey fucks, shitty cars and worse drivers. Most people here are either white trash, boring hicks, slightly brown people pretty much identical to white trash, and bush maori.

Tall poppy syndrome is rampant and everyone will give you an attitude like "oh, so you're a foreigner, think you're fucking special, eh?". Though, if you praise this place in any way the fact that you're a foreigners means you'll probably get on the news. There is this huge national insecurity here, ie, the country cares way too much what foreigners think, and is constantly comparing itself to other places like some little kid going "omg are we doing it right?".

Maybe it'll be alright for a few months, but i find this place suffocating. I was born here and lived here all my life and people still ask me where I'm from and think I'm a foreigner. 90% of everyone belongs to some insular group of fucktards, people are only superficially friendly.

We've got good comedians though.

Ditto ^

Ford, don't come to New Zealand. Seriously. It's full of small minded nosey fucks, shitty cars and worse drivers. Most people here are either white trash, boring hicks, slightly brown people pretty much identical to white trash, and bush maori.

Tall poppy syndrome is rampant and everyone will give you an attitude like "oh, so you're a foreigner, think you're fucking special, eh?". Though, if you praise this place in any way the fact that you're a foreigners means you'll probably get on the news. There is this huge national insecurity here, ie, the country cares way too much what foreigners think, and is constantly comparing itself to other places like some little kid going "omg are we doing it right?".

Maybe it'll be alright for a few months, but i find this place suffocating. I was born here and lived here all my life and people still ask me where I'm from and think I'm a foreigner. 90% of everyone belongs to some insular group of fucktards, people are only superficially friendly.

We've got good comedians though.

Damn, that just about slayed my excitement. Oh well, I'm not looking to grow old and die there. If nothing else, it should prove a fun visit to a pretty country. Not to mention a pretty country with a reasonable drinking age. :)


Appreciate the info, for sure.


-F☺rd

I was just on holiday there for the snow season and what I can tell you it's very similar to Australia. More wiggers, less niggers, the real drugs are more expensive, alcohol is cheaper, legal highs are allowed, mauris are big people not to fuck with who think they're black, kiwi women are statistically the most promiscuous on earth (I'll get to this in a minute), one night stands are very common, women are very liberated (female prime minister and first country to let women vote) aaaaand yeah, overall a good country.

About the women being the most promiscuous, it was in STAR times while I was there. The study said that, statistically, the women had more sexual partners than their male counterparts. The only country in the world to do this.

So it means that:

a. kiwi women are sluts
b. kiwi guys aren't getting much action
c. kiwi girls are just more honest about who they're fucking compared to other nations
d. all of the above

EDIT** I was wrong. Kiwi women are just sluts.

New Zealand women have the most sexual partners in the world, according to a global sex survey reported on Saturday

They have an average of 20.4 sexual partners, according to a survey by condom-maker Durex - well above the global average of 7.3.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/10/13/1191696214489.html - Link for proof.

Oh and it IS extremely easy to hook up there, but the women are painful to look at and even more painful to talk to. Well, they're not all ugly, but a very good kiwi is what I'd call a slightly above average chick from any where else. Once you go to bigger cities things change a fair bit, but then you've got scenes. A lot and a lot of "Dub, D&B and hiphop", if you're into that you'll fit right in. Ooooh also one thing I notices is: A lot of kiwi's can't take jokes too well. Intelligent kiwi's bag them selves heaps, dumb kiwis can't even take the slightest joke.

EDIT 2** Also...they glorify shit heaps. When people tell you their ambitions of becoming a hairdresser and act like they'll be on the UN security council, they're serious. This may be a massive generalization (but what else is there when classifying a nation in a few paragraphs), but that was the general rule. "Oh maaan, I can't wait till I get my truck license, the world will be my oyster!". or "This chef's apprenticeship is so much hard work and such bad pay, I can't wait to finish so I can start racking in huge dollars!"