Okay, so here goes.

First off, let me say that when I found this place, the first words into my head were, 'I think I just found Heaven.'

Also, it might be important to add that I'm drunk.

And the back story...

In high school, there was 'The Group'. The Group consisted of the people that hung out at one of the member's houses most consistently. Of The Group, the girl to guy ratio was approx 50/50, as it should be. Due in no small part to the careful planning of the males of 'The Group' several hook ups occured. The last and most lasting of these was my ex and I. After two years of intermittent dating, we decided to call it quits, which translates in guy speak to ' not talk for a lonnnng time, if ever'. So a year passes and me and ex's best friend still hang out.
Like all the time.

Like every day.

Unsurprisingly, an attraction manifests.

What are we to do with such an issue? We talk about it and decide that 'Ex' wouldn't take very kindly to me and 'new girl' having a relationship. Time goes by, as often does in things such as this.

So the situation as it stands...

Well, I've been ignoring her, primarily because it's just easier. I don't have to deal with guilty feelings, or any feelings for her, as a matter of fact. Plain and simple easier.

So we start drinking with some friends tonight, and as can be expected, some inner monilogue is lost and things that might not have been vocalized, were. Feelings were expressed, and view points exchanged. So she leaves my place and I jokingly say,'Don't call me. Or text me. Or try to contact me in general.' as she leaves. But she knows I'm joking. A bit later I call her and say straight up, 'We can't be this close.'

She didn't necessisarily ask what I meant, but she asked what to do. As my friend of several years, I told her that I was there to support her, I was okay with being that guy whom she tells all her annoyances and frustrations to. But I also told her that she was beautiful both inside and out, and that I would be there to support her no matter what. She said she was scared that we might end up like me and my ex, but I explained how I now viewed my ex is different to how I did view her because of various circumstances. So now we're at a crossroads. I'm not sure what's gonna happen tomorrow, but she's gonna call me.


So my question to you is what's your take on the situation?
Any advice?
Any suggestions?
Perhaps a clever anecdote?
Gimme what you got.

I call her and say straight up, 'We can't be this close.'

And why the fuck not?

Well, cause she is 'ex's' best friend. We 'obviously' can't have a thing. It's unfair to both of us to sit there on the cusp of a relationship and deny it.

Do you guys actually call yourselves "The Group"? If you do, you guys are sofa king retarded. God I fucking hate highschool kids.

Grow up dude. You both want eachother and you know it. There's no reason why you shouldn't.

First off, only casually. Second, two years out of highschool. Way to read.

Screw your ex, if you and her best friend have a "thing" then why let her stand in your way of it? You've been over for a year, she shouldn't have any excuse to object to the relationship and neither should you.

Now go out and be a man about it!

only casually

you say it like it makes a differance. lol@fag.

Joon is right.

Never thought I'd see the day.

Joon is right.

Never thought I'd see the day.

:(

why does your ex get a sayso in who you date?

i don't get it, if you like each other, go for it. it's not that complicated?

It's been a fucking year since you and the other girl broke up.
Don't be such a pussy.

And if you really think there will be a problem, kindly explain to the ex that you want to fuck her bff.

She'll understand.

How about, you stop letting your ex control you, for one thing.
and its not obvious, just do it, dont let your ex be the reason you dont see someone, its not like you even still talk to her.

And dont feel guilt, there is nothing to feel guilt for, and DONT hide your affection for eachother.







Jus' do it bra.

So basically your a pussy, ring up your ex and tell her you want to try the relationship again in the most weird way imaginable, when she tells you no you THEN ring up the new girl and tell her that you spoke to your ex and shes fine with you two dating.

Seriously, man.

You are a fucking he-bitch.

Why you all being so negative? He cares, we don't...get over the fact that unlike us he isn't a heartless bastard.

But like i was saying, I didn't care about my ex's feelings when I did just about the same thing. A couple MONTHS after me and my ex were dating I got pretty drunk with her best friend and we ended up having sex. There wasn't really a relationship that formed from it, but it happened a couple times when we were sober too.

My ex didn't know until we started talking again, which was about a month after I had sex with her best friend, and she was pretty upset when she found out (but also really drunk at the same time). The next day she called me back and said that she overreacted, and to this day they are still pretty much best friends....I have even had drinks with them together.

Couple questions for ya though: has your ex had a boyfriend since your breakup? Is she an understanding type of person? How often do you talk to your ex now? Where abouts do ya live?

The ex will take it a lot better if she's *the first* to know about it. It'll be far more painful and make her feel like an idiot if the whole group has been discussing it for days but she's left in the dark.

It rests upon the shoulders of the girl you're after to tell your ex, in my opinion.

You pulled the key word out yourself, fella.

Why not? Because it might piss your ex off? Fuck that. What about your happiness? What about new girl's happiness? Ever think of that?
Look...If you guys like each other, I say go for it. It may turn out to be a steaming pile of shite in the end but hey, whatever, at least you tried, mate.
You never know, it might turn out to be the right thing to do.

And at the very least you can say you fucked them both.