Here's the deal. I'm in a long distance relationship now, though previous to this I always said I would never be in one. Surprise surprise.

My gf went to my uni last year. She transferred this year, to a school about 4-5 hours drive away, for academic reasons. We see each other every 2-3 weeks on average, for a weekend at a time.

Things aren't going well. We're fighting every other day, at least. Horrible fights, ones that start because of tiny things, and blow way out of proportion, and make us end up really hurting each other. Fights that afterwards make you feel like an idiot. Fights like we've never had before. Even when I swear I won't let them happen again, they do. And I'm sure they'll continue to happen, as long as we're going to different schools.

Here's where the problem/my question is. She's seriously considering coming back to my uni. She would get in for sure, don't worry about that. I was so happy last year, and basically when I'm with her. But this is a huge decision for her, obviously.

So this is the big decider: If she came back, would everything be peachy again, or are we doomed anyway? Is all this fighting a sign that it's time to part ways, or is it just a product of the distance?

It's not as simple as it might seem. If she comes back and we break up immediately, well...that's obviously not good for her. I'd have a bunch of friends, but she'd be all alone with no one. On the other hand, I wouldn't want something great to end because of a bad decision. Since it will probably be asked here, no, I don't see myself marrying her in the near future, but I'm not saying I never would, and marriage basically freaks me out completely. But the point is, we (did) have a great thing going.

I'm remembering why I said I'd never do this. I'm learning that humans, and especially the younger ones like myself, are not meant to be in LDR's. It's unnatural and weird. To put it simply, we're going to break up if she's not here for spring semester. I'm spending too much time not being social, too much time depressed, too much time being crabby to friends.

One more thing, since it'll probably be asked. How is it when we see each other now? It's great, but it's not a good example... every time we see each other it's a honeymoon, a weekend of romping around in bed, watching movies, and gazing at each other. Not a good example of what we're like when we're together these days. We haven't had a period of more than like 4 days together yet, to see what it's like in the long term. So at this point, I have no idea what to think.

TL/DR: Go fuck yourself. This is important to me and don't bother saying anything if you're not going to spend 40 seconds reading.

Totse can't answer that question.

But it's not a lost cause. You seem to have genuine feelings for her, and she feels the same way about you. Have you talked about the constant fighting with her? Does she know you're concerned about whether it would continue if she moved?

Either way, at the end of the day it's really up to her, and it has to be. She needs to understand that it's her choice, and if it fucks up, it fucks up, that's life. She made a choice and she has to stick with it.

But from what you've said it sounds like you had a pretty good thing going, and if it's a choice of losing that, or making a few changes to hang on to it, I'd say it's worth it. Still, if you're just clutching at the memory of what it was, it's a bad idea.

You're totally right that &t can't if I even can't...I'm just hoping someone else has been in a similar situation and can give me some advice.

We've talked about EVERYTHING through and through. She'll be positive she's gonna come back, then we'll have a huge fight which will of course shake her belief that she should come back, and make me wonder if I'd even want her back.

Right now, if I had to give her the decision, I'd tell her to come back. Basically because my school is way nicer than hers, and also the fact that she hasn't made any friends at hers yet, so it's not like she's losing much coming here. Also, she does have a few friends here, aside from all my friends who she's friends with my association.

But on top of that...I'm just so afraid that she'd come back, we'd realize we can't do it any longer, and we'd break up, leaving her in the worst position in the world. and I care enough for her now to not want that for her.