So I don't post here very often, or at all really, but I figured why not give it a shot, I can probably get at least 1 or 2 serious responses, and there is no tl;dr version.

So here it goes, there's this girl I like, lets call her Jamie, and she is 19 and I am 17, I am a senior in high school and she graduated last year, we've been friends off and on for about 3 years,

Now I know she likes me and she knows I like her, we're pretty open about that, and that's all well and good but now all of a sudden there is like 3 other guys that like her, which I am fine with pretty much because she, or at least seems to, keep me in higher regard then them,

Now I asked her out a few days ago, with no real intention on getting a definitive answer from her because she is all confused about all this cause she doesn't want to hurt anyone blah blah blah, which I understand, but I just wanted to get the question out there because most of my past relationships that have fallen through have been because I've waited too long, so we we're watching a movie (the strangers) the other night and in between making out and such I just asked her out because I figured I wouldn't really know what she would say till I asked and I was 90% sure she wouldn't say straight up no, which she didn't she just gave me the ol' "I need time" deal, and we continued to kiss for a little longer until my ride came and I had to leave,

Now to clear up some stuff with why she's unsure I'll explain a little bit about us, well for one, she has a kid of 4 months, which I'm fine with really, I mean I know she's not a slut or anything, I've known her for a good while and she's just not like that, shit just went wrong, and to make that part a little bit weirder I myself am a virgin, so we're at like the 2 opposite sides of the spectrum in that respect, I mean I'm not like sexually inactive or anything, I've done a good bit other then sex, it's just I've been honestly waiting for someone I actually like enough to do that with,

She is also a bit sketchy as far as my age goes, I mean its only about a year and 5 month difference between us, but its like I think it seems kind of juvenile the things I have to do, like we cant hang that much and alot of times its after like 11pm so I'll have to like sneak out of my house to go over her house, which Isn't that big of a deal but I think it kind of just re-enforces the fact that I am a kid,

Then there's the trouble with the other guys liking her, Now like I've said before she's given me reason to believe I have more of a shot with her then them, because one of the guys lives a state over(about an hour away), and one of the other guys that like her she seems to just think is weird, and then theres another guy that just started talking to her again a few days ago, but he's just a douche and she seems to think that too, plus she spends the most time with me, even though we don't even hang that much,

Alsoo, theres the whole thing about me smoking pot, she wants me to quit, which I am fine with doing because her reasoning is that she doesn't really want that around her kid, and that's fine, I like her more then pot, but I don't think she completely trusts me on that,

Oh and just to add some icing on this cake, her baby's daddy's sister (aka the daughters aunt). likes me, she's 14, and that seems like that could make things a bit weird on top of all this,

So I guess what I am asking is if anyone else has been in this kind of situation because its completely new to me and I don't know anyone else that has had anything else like this happen to them,

Any insight is welcome,

Thanks.

TL; DR

She doesn't want you, and the fact that her kid is not by you proves it. If she wanted to be with you, she would be.

It seems like you are most likely right, but I didn't want to just go by my own opinion on this because I've been wrong before.

I think asking her out was a bad idea.
you shouldve just played around with her for a bit longer.
Now your fucked
!

Alright man well you are putting way too much thought into this. Women say all kinds of bullshit, its useless trying to piece together their statements into some sort of conclusion because they say what they feel emotionally at any given moment.
Rather, you judge them by their actions and do not expect them to keep their word.

By going by her actions it really seems like I have a shot, but hey, I'll just keep hanging with her and doing whatever and just go from there,

And if it doesn't work out she's still a really cool person so hopefully I can at least keep her as a friend.

If she really is that cool sure, but don't let your attraction to her cloud your judgment of how nice and cool of a person she is.

If she really is that cool sure, but don't let your attraction to her cloud your judgment of how nice and cool of a person she is.

Nah she is really cool, and the thing that makes me think that beyond the fact that I like her in this way is that I've known her off and on for the past few years so its not like I all of a sudden just think she's cool after being I'm attracted to her further

Nah she is really cool, and the thing that makes me think that beyond the fact that I like her in this way is that I've known her off and on for the past few years so its not like I all of a sudden just think she's cool after being I'm attracted to her further

for sure. If she's hot and touchy, use her as an attraction tool for other girls. I'm sure she's got friends, and when you two hang out in public being with her will look good for you. I have a girl like this, she helped me get laid all summer.

What do you mean by "asked her out"?

I mean, you were watching a movie, making out, things were getting hot, and then you just went "Hey, I'd like to take you out to play bowling this weekend". And she goes "lolwut?". And to confuse you in return she goes "I need time.". Now you go "lolwut? Time? Wtf.".

for sure. If she's hot and touchy, use her as an attraction tool for other girls. I'm sure she's got friends, and when you two hang out in public being with her will look good for you. I have a girl like this, she helped me get laid all summer.


Haha, Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

What do you mean by "asked her out"?

I mean, you were watching a movie, making out, things were getting hot, and then you just went "Hey, I'd like you to take you out to play bowling these weekend". And she goes "lolwut?". And to confuse you in return she goes "I need time.". Now you go "lolwut? Time? Wtf.".

Hmm, I can see how you might think something like that,

It was more like we were just making out during the movie and what not, and then after the movie actually ended we were just doing whatever and I was going to have to leave soon and we like took a break for a little bit and then I asked her out, and by "ask out" I mean asked her to be my girlfriend and such.

The one-year grade difference is really not a big deal in the long run, but that one key year where you're still in high school and she's moved past that point in her life can make the age difference seem like a bigger deal. I imagine if she's already got to deal with adult issues like mother-hood, it'd emphasize the maturity differences in your social circles that much more.

You like her as a person, and that's great, but being the boyfriend of a woman with a kid means you have to be able to man-up and think longer term about things like financial responsibility and child-care. If you find out you're not ready for much more commitment at this point in your life than senior prom and promise rings, it might make your friendship with her harder to maintain later on.

I get what you mean, and I mean I am ready to help her out with all that, I'm close to landing a job, which I could help her at least a little bit with, and the dad is still kind of around at least for the kid and is now paying child support so I mean the financial part isn't my prime concern, at least not yet,

but there is the whole thing about me going to college, granite the college I am going to is right in the city not to far from here so I can be home whenever I want, but that could prove to cause some trouble,

and as far as manning up goes, I mean I am really trying show more maturity and help her with things, but alot of the things that I see that can sort of show a good amount of immaturity I can't really control, such as me still being in school and having a curfew, although the curfew isn't that bad as I can leave my house unnoticed pretty easy, but then there is the whole thing with cops too because I'm not 18 till march, so I can still get picked up for curfew,

and also theres the whole me not driving thing, and the reason I don't drive right now is cause everything I really need is in my immediate area, and when I goto college it will be in the city so I wont be needing a car too bad, but with her it seems like I should have a car to drive her around, but theres nothing I can really do there either because I don't have my permit yet and even if I get it now 1) theres the whole 6 month waiting period till you can get your license, and 2) I'm only 5 months away from being 18, so when I'm 18 I figure I'll just get my permit and license all at once, but that doesn't exactly help me now.

It sounds like you could do better, I think you being a virgin is making you cling to this young mother. Just go to college and get on with your life. Settling in with this girl is a bad idea and will slow you down. Its not even your kid and at 17 you're thinking about helping out? College is your answer, trailer is not.

You may have a point there, It may just be that there is no one around here that I like more then a friend and no real opportunities to meet new people, and we just reconciled our friendship so it almost feels like shes a new person,

but I suppose waiting till college to meet new people wouldn't kill me so I may just go for that.