S&A, it appears as though im in a bit of a fickle situation and i need opinions/viewpoints.

Recently, me and my ex broke up, i hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks up until today. Usually when we speak via IM she continues a conversation and is lively but as of late she has been really dull and seems to cut a conversation short by saying "fair enough". I've spoken to a friend of mine that talks to her and he thinks she does it too.

Point is, i think something is wrong but i don't know if i should ask her due to us having broken up. We haven't spoken in close to 4 weeks since then and the last time i saw her face to face, she totally ignored me (she was on the phone, didn't look at me much when she wasn't).

I spoke to that same friend about this problem, and i told him that i didn't want to worry because she isn't my problem anymore but he thinks that i should worry because at one point we were close friends and she was my girlfriend. Apparently she's been with another guy but i don't think they're in a relationship, and i don't really want to know anyway.

Now thoughts on whether or not I should or shouldn't investigate if something is wrong.

tl;dr
I think my ex has a problem but i don't want to investigate due to us having broken up, friend thinks i should, im unsure.

She wants you to put alot of effort in to get back with her, she has told her friend this, thus he is telling you to investigate.

The thing is, when we broke up, her reason was that her feelings changed (or something, im still unclear) and that she didn't think she could love me.

I would say:
1.) Don't try and 'save' her. It will take your energy, and you'll be left feeling like crap.
2.) If you're still attracted to her, don't hang out with her.
3.) She broke up with you, and it's clear she doesn't want to get back with you. Please try to not let your mind come up with solutions for getting her to like you. It will cause heart and headaches.

Hope this helps.

It's rare that I actually say this....but cut off all communication. Make so as far as she knows, you've vanished off the face of the planet.

To the above posts, it's kind of hard due to us being in the same circle of friends. We're bound to see each other, there are a few friends birthday parties coming up and she'll mostlikely be at some of them.

Ignore her. It'll either drive her nuts or she won't care. But she's not going to care if you show her any attention. If she's putting it on, that's what she's looking for, your attention, pursuit. If you do the opposite she'll be like "WTF, aren't I good enough?" and that's when you're like "No, bitch, no you're not."

Or something like that.

Ignore her. It'll either drive her nuts or she won't care. But she's not going to care if you show her any attention. If she's putting it on, that's what she's looking for, your attention, pursuit. If you do the opposite she'll be like "WTF, aren't I good enough?" and that's when you're like "No, bitch, no you're not."

Or something like that.

This. Make HER want YOU.

If nothing else, you could at least get some sex.

She probably ignores you because of your horrible abuse of the English language. Learn basic grammar.

GTFO of my thread grammer nazi, my use of the english language is more than legible.

Ask yourself one question, mate...Do you want to?

If you're questioning it, I'd say it's not worth worrying about.
For me, if I care enough about something, I'd ask straight away about what's wrong. If I don't care, I don't care.

You're right dude. She's not your problem anymore. She's moved onto someone else. You're free and single. Why should you give a rat's arse? So what you were friends before? Does that mean you can just go back to being her really close friend after a relationship in such a short time?

Unless she's up the duff with your kid, I say leave it alone mate. Let her get on with her thing and you get on with yours. Leave the IMs out and move the fuck on.

Think of yourself.

Don't talk to her unless she talks to you, then throw the same thing back that she's doing now.

She broke up with you. Fine.
Even if you want to get back with her, do NOT give her the option of having you in her life and going off to fuck some other bloke. You're doing it now and she's beginning to play with you.

Make it an all or nothing decision for her - if she wants your attention it's as her boyfriend, no other way. Don't literally say that, but by not paying any attention to her, ignoring her, ect you convey that. She needs to work for your attention and ultimately that means being with you.

It may be hard, and it may not mean you get her back
- but the results: either that you don't have anything much to do with her again OR that she decides she decides she does want to be with you, are the better outcomes.

I reiterate, worst thing you can do is continuing to play her game.

I never did say Thank you, so Thank You for all the replies so far. Right now, i know that deep down i don't want to care but i do and im still muddled on what to do.

My general rule for girls is, i don't go after them, i let them give me the attention, but i really did care about this girl. So much so, to the point that even after so long I still do care about her.

I was speaking to a close friend of mine about this, who is also good friends with her. He said to me that he spoke to her the night after she ignored me and he thinks that she wanted me to talk to her. So it makes things a bit more complicated..


Thanks again guys.

This. Make HER want YOU.

If nothing else, you could at least get some sex.

This is irrelevant but the above ^ is the one single most annoying and hurtful thing you can really do to a girl. Eventually she'll give up. Just advice to other guys in the thread because I know this is not OP's situation .

I'm going to have to make a decision about this, so i will.

How can i totally forget about her? I've tried cutting off all communication but that didn't work, usually I found that resuming normal conversation and getting a friendship back helped me recover from a breakup much faster which is what I tried to do but that is where my problem lies.

Can I get some advice on how I can totally forget her?

thanks.

This is irrelevant but the above ^ is the one single most annoying and hurtful thing you can really do to a girl. Eventually she'll give up. Just advice to other guys in the thread because I know this is not OP's situation .

She's putting him through a hard time, why should he treat her with respect?

Oh right, because she has a VAGINA.