If I pretend I don't know how to put on a tie some cute girl will always fix it for me (even if I put it on myself it always ends up getting fixed anyways).

Yes, it works at getting the girl to touch your neck and maybe compliment your tie/shirt.

But real men can tie their own god damn tie and dress themselves. Moving on..

Then what?? Whip it out and she'll feel compelled to suck it??

Sounds good.

On the dance floor look around for a girl who will make eye contract with you. When a pretty girl does, stop, look at her and face her. Start to spin an invisible lasso for a few seconds then pretend to rope her with it. Then start to pull your self in, every pull take a big jump forwards. Be as clown like as you can doing this, every down to earth girl laughs, trust me. Then, when you get there, have a nice grin on you and ask her "if you had to fuck two people with a combined age of 20, how old would they be?" Now maintain that grin and just stare at her expectantly.

At this point you will not be getting vagina, but her reaction will be worth it.

I lol'd.

On the dance floor look around for a girl who will make eye contract with you. When a pretty girl does, stop, look at her and face her. Start to spin an invisible lasso for a few seconds then pretend to rope her with it. Then start to pull your self in, every pull take a big jump forwards. Be as clown like as you can doing this, every down to earth girl laughs, trust me. Then, when you get there, have a nice grin on you and ask her "if you had to fuck two people with a combined age of 20, how old would they be?" Now maintain that grin and just stare at her expectantly.

At this point you will not be getting vagina, but her reaction will be worth it.

What happens if she's a pedo? 10/10?

Either way she's a pedo, you can't fuck a zero year old.

What happens if she's a pedo? 10/10?

Then find and eight-year-old and have a threesome?

Way pimper than OP

Stillborn + a 20 year old + a strap on = the best answer she could give.

At this point you will not be getting vagina, but her reaction will be worth it.

Ridiculous rate me thread photos aside, you're still hillarious.

OP, this is a fail so massive words cannot begin to describe it...

i did the reverse of this. You teach a girl how to tie a tie, that way you have to get behind her get real close ect...

^ yeah that works much better

I've done the lassoo thing before, it works sometimes

Really? Did she turn out to be a pedo or a necro?

I didn't ask the combined age thing. I'll ask my gf tonight and post what she says.

Personally I'd fuck a 20 year old and then wank over a stillborn. If I had to.

On the dance floor look around for a girl who will make eye contract with you. When a pretty girl does, stop, look at her and face her. Start to spin an invisible lasso for a few seconds then pretend to rope her with it. Then start to pull your self in, every pull take a big jump forwards. Be as clown like as you can doing this, every down to earth girl laughs, trust me. Then, when you get there, have a nice grin on you and ask her "if you had to fuck two people with a combined age of 20, how old would they be?" Now maintain that grin and just stare at her expectantly.

Definitely going to try this one.

yeah this sounds simply genius hahahahaha